DREAM KINGS (Shawn Mendes x Harry Styles)

C h a p t e r [78]

I finally reached the house, the lights were already on. I open the door and head straight upstairs. It's sad but I should let him know that I'm a person who also gets tired and feel disapproved sometimes. In my room, I changed my clothes and remembered what the old man told me. Though having second thoughts, I went downstairs and made dinner. I don't care anymore if he eats it or not, I left it with a cover and head to the bathroom and brushed my teeth and wash my face.

I stepped out of the bathroom with a towel on my face, wiping my face dry. As soon as I finished drying off my face, I put the towel down and saw him exiting the kitchen with a glass of water. He stopped and looked at me, I didn't speak, I just looked at him for second and turned my face away. I walked and ignored him.

"Where have you been?" He asks with his voice a little rough.

I didn't respond and took three steps until he speaks again.

"May. I'm asking you a question. Where have you been..?"

"What does it matter to you?"

"You're being rude. I'm asking properly—"

"I'm the one who's rude here? Really? Did that really came out of your mouth?" My voice starts to shake, I'm not really used with real pointing fights. It always makes everything in me, tremble.

He didn't replied and I didn't add anything to my statement either. I went to my room and slammed the door close. I didn't want to sleep nor dive into dreaming. I feel like I'm living with a stranger. I don't know him anymore.

The next day, goes just the same. Food untouched, him, just gone to school. Me, finding him inside the classroom already, sitting on his chair but what I witness at lunch break made me feel worse. I went to the canteen to buy something to drink but just as I was about to completely get into the line for orders, my eyes caught him, sitting with the new student, Yuna.

I lost all of my energy and decided to just leave and go back to the classroom. I sit and put my head down on the surface of my table and closed my eyes. It hurts like hell. I've never been this hurt my entire life. I've seen Luke do much worse before but I didn't feel any sadness nor guilt at all; but him.. he's just a home companion and he's already made me feel useless. Tears are starting to fall from my eyes, down to my table.

"May?" Luke's voice came from my side but I pretended to be asleep. He didn't bother me anymore but the next thing I heard is the new student's giggles and voice.

"This school's pretty fine to me, Shawn." She says, "That food was good, too! Where's that girl, May's her name right? Oh yeah, May! I remember." She giggles again, "I wonder where—Oh, she's.. asleep? Maybe we should take her with us during lunch sometimes, Shawn."

I didn't hear Shawn talk and that's the time I realized that I shouldn't be crying over him. If he has her and they're already getting good after just a short period of knowing each other, then okay. He's into her, she's into him, then I'll be with Luke. That's it.

I rub my eyes to my forearms and pretend to yawn as I lift my head up.

"Well, hey. You're finally awake." Luke says, "Have you eaten lunch yet?"

I smiled, fake and insincere, but I have to be strong and keep this up until I'm better, I shake my head and told him I haven't. He asked me to go with him to the canteen and I agreed, we went and ate lunch together. After class, Shawn did the same thing he did for the last few days ago but this time, he was not alone. Yuna came running to catch up with him and they went out of the school building together. Though I'm trying so hard to conceal my sadness and pretend I'm not even damaged, my heart's broken.

Yuna's just a new student but it didn't even take her almost a month to have him on her side and they're even eating lunch together.

Because of my promise, I allowed Luke to take me home. I thanked him and went inside the house. Same goes what happened last night and the other night. The house's atmosphere feels chaos, with the only two people living in it has a raging and heated up war between them. Though we're not in good terms, I still cook dinner and breakfast for him. I don't mind anymore if I see it the next morning untouched.

Two more days passed and I see him and Yuna together more than usual and though my heart's getting damaged as time to time, I know he deserves the happiness too. Besides, we're not a real couple, it's just a deal that's coming to an end soon. I'm just glad I can still see the chains of the necklace around his neck sometimes when I glance at him. This fight is killing me, then the whole weekday passed.

Saturday and Sunday, we're still not communicating. It still hurts but I'm getting a hang of it, somehow. Maybe it's true, once you've done your part, you shouldn't be affected nor worry with any of the things bothering you.. And I know I already did mine for so many times and still doing it; though it was not appreciated.

If he only knew how much it hurts when he left me alone in the classroom for several times, when he left me to school for the same times too. For the times he didn't eat any of the foods I made for him; breakfast, lunch and dinner, none of it were touched by him for the whole 5 days. I'm still making food for him until now and still try to do what mom and the old man told me to do so, PLEASE HIM but indirectly.

I love him and I still do, but I'm playing it safe and cool. Yuna is on his side and if she's the reason why he's making me feel worthless, then I'll just force myself to understand.