DREAM KINGS (Shawn Mendes x Harry Styles)

C h a p t e r [80]

Professor Riles left after the announcement. We were all left without a teacher all throughout the rest of the afternoon, so the room's nothing but filled with indistinct noises. I was just sitting on my chair, lost my ability to talk to anyone or even hear the noise bombarding classroom. Yuna is a good person and I want Shawn to have her as his girl because he also deserves a person who will be on his side no matter how annoying she could get. While I was thinking all about the trip out of town and Shawn Mendes and Yuna Danwilb, Luke leaned sideways and talked.

"Let's go somewhere after class."

I feel so bad to put his offer down but I feel like I really need some place to be alone, "I'm.. I'm sorry Luke, I'm going to Tippy's house."

"I can take you there."

"No, I can go there myself."

"May, I really want to be with you—"

"Luke, please..? I just really need to talk to her, maybe I'll sleep at her house tonight and I don't like the idea of you, waiting for me whether it's inside or outside the house, getting bored with our conversation."

He sighs, "Fine. But tomorrow, I'm taking you home, okay?"

I smiled, "Okay."

The bell rang and that's our cue to leave the classroom. I stood, immediately snatched my bag, smiled at Luke for being sweet, then head out of the classroom, first than the rest of them. I walk through the hallways with a heavy heart. Is Shawn and Yuna together? Are they dating? Or Am I just overlooking with what's in between the two of them? If they are, then Shawn must have liked her a lot, it took a week and they're already going and eating together at the canteen and heading home.

I got myself out of the school building and campus, then I went to a nearby market where I roam around and looked at random things to ease my mind. He's starting to disappear in my mind, I'm starting to get a grip and forget that I care. The sun's going down, getting close to twilight. I bought a box of milk and a pack of cookies then walked myself home.

Thinking that I'm going home and knowing he's there makes feel worthless again. The idea of being inside a house where the person you care for, doesn't care about you. I scoff, shake my head and opened the box of milk's lid, I chug and chug, and eat the cookies. While I was chewing and finally getting a view of the house, I saw Shawn at the gate, reaching his hand in, opening it, he seems like he just arrived; and he looks upset. He didn't notice me from the side since I'm still a little far. He heads in and as he closes the gate, metals hit together and can be heard.

I don't care, I proceed to walk while continuously eat and drink until the box of milk and the pack of cookies were already empty. I reached my hand in and opened the gate. I tried to crumple the box but was too big and too thick, so I brought it inside the house. I went straight into the kitchen without a glance. I threw the junk into the trash. When I turn around, he was the one I immediately saw. Standing from the entrance of the kitchen. We looked at each other for just 3 seconds and that was it, I moved in a fast pace and walked past him. There were no exchange. We're just literally like strangers.

I proceed upstairs to my room. I slammed the door and there, I felt so much pain. I'm trying so hard not to talk to him and I'm already struggling, while he does it so well. Not having any expression on his face.

I covered my eyes as it's starting to pour some tears out again. What I just did.. I think it's the right thing. I'm okay, I'm almost there, I can finally show him that I don't care; but why now? Why does ignoring him makes me feel the conscience of my action? I dry my tears with my hands and something hits the corner of my eye, my feet twitched in pain. I looked to see the bracelet he gave me. I cling it to my heart and feel it for a moment.

I breathe in and removed my bag, then head downstairs, I haven't even changed my clothes. There, I quietly and slowly make him dinner, trying not to make as much noise. Careful of everything.

All of a sudden, my heart skipped a beat when his voice came behind me, "May." He says rough and low.

I stopped what I'm doing and didn't moved for a second, I don't know why I responded to him, he just called my name and I replied, I told myself I'm not going to talk to him but yet, I spoke, "This'll take a while. I hope you can wait."

He clears his throat like he was trying to put the before Shawn Mendes out, a long pause before he talks again, "That's not.. that's not the reason why I came here."

I wanna cover my ears at that moment because I don't want him to get back inside my head and destroy the wall I'm already building.

"Are you.. still mad at me..?" He asks.

I clenched my teeth, the way he said, it feels like it's killing what's inside me, my brows crease, my nose itches and my eyes are starting to fill with water again, I swallow and breathe in, "I'll try to rush this, so you can have your dinner."

"That's.. that's not what I'm asking.."

I didn't speak. It hurts like hell. Why is he doing this to me? Now he's acting like a poor guy who wants attention. I can't. I have to hold my anger back, my sadness back. I want to keep calm and not burst to his face.

"May.. are you..?"

The frying pan's heating too quick, I dropped the onions in and it sizzles. I stir and sauté, continuously dropping the ingredients in, I made a soft laugh, "Why makes you say that?"

"I.. I became a complete asshole for the past few days.."

I put out a scoff, "Why would I be mad Mister Mendes? Hm? Last Monday, you left me inside the room, alone, that night, we argued. I still made you food but you didn't eat it. I saw it the next day, it's exactly the same way I put it on the plates, it wasn't even moved, but still I waited because I'm expecting you'd come downstairs and we'll eat together.. and go to school together; but I was literally waiting for nothing." I chuckle, trying to pretend it's not a big issue, "I went to school and I was minutes late and saw you there, sitting on your chair like you're not worrying about anything. Then after class, you went home again.. by yourself. That night, I made dinner again, and again, the next day morning, I saw it, untouched, but I didn't wait for you anymore and just went to school because I know you already left and I was right. You're already inside the classroom. Your ways went on and on, I see you with Yuna and I realize that maybe she's the reason why you treating me like I belong with the air. You can't see it, you can't hear it, therefore you're just ignoring it. Days and nights went like that Mister Mendes, you don't know what it felt like." I looked at him over my shoulder and faked a smile, "So.. your question? Am I mad? No. I'm not mad. There's nothing to be mad about. But, hey.. I'm also a person who gets tired of rejection. If you don't like me.." I turn the burner off then turned around, "Then I wouldn't waste anymore time trying to get your attention and appreciate my efforts." I finished cooking, I dropped down the food on the plates and put the utensils in the sink, I breathe sharply through my nose, then sighed, "Consider the foods I'm making as a service. For my dad who's working for your dad. For my mom who told me to please you. That's all. Don't think of it as my efforts because I'm already done showing it."

I washed the utensils then placed them on a rack, I turn around and saw him with his hands inside his pockets, head's down, staring at the floor. It hurts, honestly.. it kills me inside to talk to him as it were before.

He raises his head and looked at me, "I hope someday you'll understand.."

"I already do." I simpered, "Enjoy your meal Mister Mendes. If.. you're going to do what you always do, then I'm happy for at least I did my part." Then walked past him.