As doctors and nurses came in and set everything up Jessica enjoyed the last few moments connected to her baby.
She and Danny had their hand on her stomach, feeling every movement their little girl made.
Jessica knew that it would be a while until she saw her baby, and she also knew that she might never get to see her. She had so many emotions bottling up inside of her.
The doctor was ready and he told Jessica, "Jessica, just so you know, as soon as you deliver, we're gonna take her straight to the NICU and we will do absolutely everything possible."
"Thank you.."
Danny held her hand and never once let go. With his free hand he wiped the sweat from her forehead with a cool towel.
Usually by this time Jessica would be screaming Get it out! But no matter how much pain she was in, she never once yelled or complained about anything.
"Alright Jessica, pull your legs back and give me a small push. Not too hard."
Jessica took a deep breath and gave a small push.
"Good, breathe.. Relax and with the next contraction she'll be here. You're ten centimetres, fully faced, and she's right there.. It won't be long."
"Okay.." She nods.
Danny looks at Jessica as she looks down at her stomach.
"I love you so much.. Please know that I do." He says with tears.
"I do.." She says in a shaky voice.
Danny kisses her head, then kisses her belly and in a teary whisper, he says, "Everything's gonna be okay." He looks her in the eyes.
She nods, not believing it as she gets another contraction.
"You ready, Jessica?" The doctor asks.
"No..." Her voice cracks as she fights her tears.
"Deep breath in and push down into your bottom." The nurse says.
Jessica takes a deep breath and pushes hard.
The baby was so small, she just slipped right out, and they immediately took her to the NICU.
There was no cry, just the sound of rushing filled the room.
Jessica breathed heavily and cried hard as she laid back on her pillow.
Danny laid his upper body on top of her, their hands still clasped together, and booth of their bodies shaking from the sobs.
Jessica let out the most hurtful cry, and Danny did the same.
Jessica put her knees together as she arched her back and sobbed loudly.
"I want my baby!"
"I know, sweetie. She's gonna be okay... She's a little fighter, like her mom... She'll be just fine." Danny sits beside her on the bed and wipes her face.
***
"It's been four hours, they can't come in here and tell us anything?! This is crazy!" Danny paces nervously back and fourth.
Jessica was curled up in a ball on her side, and she hasn't really said anything since she gave birth.
"Jessie, do you feel okay? Do you need anything?" Her mom rubs her back.
"No."
George hits the wall with his fist and says, "How long does it take to examine a baby, she's this big.." He holds his hands close together.
Jessica looks at him and he realises that what he said might have hurt Jessica.
"I-I'm sorry.."
"It's okay, George."
*Knock Knock*
Jessica quickly sits up and everyone's hearts start racing.
The doctor walks in and Jessica looks at him with a worried look on her face.
"Hello, how are you feeling?
"I'm fine, how's my baby?"
".. We have her in an incubator, she's on an IV, heart monitor, blood pressure monitor and a breathing tube. She isn't breathing on her own right now."
".. Can I see her?"
"Right now we have our team working on her, so you can see her, but it'll be a while."
"I just want to know, are you gonna tell me that I can't see her right now, and then something happens to her? I just want to see her!"
"I know, and I am so so sorry. We are doing what is best for your baby, and we are doing all that we can to save your little girl." He says before he walks out.
Jessica runs her hand through her hair, then looks down.
"You okay, Jess?" Sarah asks.
"No! Jesus Christ, I wish people would stop asking me if I'm okay! I'm not okay!" She raises her voice.
"The doctor told me that my baby has a less than ten percent chance of living, and I can't even see her! If some... If something happens to her.. And I wasn't there.. Or if I never saw her before it happened... I couldn't live with that. I don't understand why I can't see her."
"We'll be able to see her. They're doing all they can, we just have to be thankful that they're even able to do anything. The fact that she's still here, just shows that she is a fighter. We just need to take it hour by hour." Danny sits beside her and rubs her back.
"How did our lives flip upside down like this? We were happy at one point."
"We'll get through this.. Everything happens for a reason."
"Everything happens for a reason? Hm.. I don't and I won't ever see a reason why this is happening to us. Why we aren't together anymore, why I gave birth so early.. Why our baby is laying in there hooked up to machines with a tube down her throat and fighting for her life! I don't think there's a reason for any of that, Daniel."
Danny sighs and says, "I understand. All I can say is that I'm sorry. I know all of this is my fault, and believe me, I will never ever forgive myself."
Jessica rubs her face with her hands, then grabs handfuls of her hair and pulls it.
***
Eight hours after birth, Danny and Jessica were finally allowed to see their baby girl for the first time.
Danny wheeled her to the NICU and Jessica sat there, her heart pounding and her skin becoming hot.
They saw the sign on the incubator that said Baby Girl Huston.
Jessica slowly stood up and looked down at her tiny little body.
"Oh my gosh.. She's so tiny." She whispers.
Danny wraps his arm around her and stares at the baby.
Jessica looked at her little chest sink in and out as she breathed.
Tears rolled down down her cheeks and she buried her face in Danny's chest.
Danny wrapped his arms around her and she tried her best to keep her sobs silent.
"This isn't fair!"
"I know, baby."
The nurse opens up a tiny door so that they can touch her.
Jessica's hand was shaking, but she slowly reached in and softly ran her finger back and fourth on her tiny arm.
"Oh my gosh... My baby... My precious precious girl! I love you.. I love you so much." She sniffles and wipes her eyes.
"You are so beautiful."
Danny rubs her back, sighs and sticks his hand through the other entrance.
"Hey kiddo.. You're giving us quite a scare. We need you to get all better, so you can come home. You have a big sister, and a big brother that are gonna be so excited to meet you. Your grandparents, your aunts and uncles.. We all love you and want you to keep fighting."
***
Jessica's POV...
In my whole life, I've never felt so empty.
I lay here trying to get some sleep, not knowing if my baby will make it through the night or not.
What sucks is that I'm on the maternity floor, so I hear all of the babies crying throughout the day, and throughout the night.
It haunts me as if they were ghosts..
They have their mothers to comfort them at night. My baby is so small and fragile, I can't imagine how scared she must be all alone.
From being comfortable and warm in my womb, to be punched into this cold cruel world.. So helpless and so weak. I don't know what I ever did to deserve this, but I do know that I would never wish this on anyone.
It's easy to blame Danny, because of everything.. But I was the one carrying her. I should have listened to the doctor, and to everyone else around me, and relaxed. I shouldn't have lifted those boxes, or stressed out.. I-I should have eaten better.
.. The list goes on and on... But I just pray that I get the chance to hold her at least once.
