14 days old...
"Mrs. Huston, Would you like to hold your baby?"
"What?! I can hold her?" Jessica asks surprised.
"Yes ma'am, but only for a few minutes."
"Oh my gosh, really? Yes! Yes, of course I do!"
Jessica sat in the rocking chair, took her black cardigan off and left her black cami so that the baby could lay her skin.
She sat there with wide nervous eyes and fidgety hands while the nurse picked the baby up.
When she handed her to Jessica, she exhaled a breath she didn't realize she was holding in.
She held onto her and softly kissed her head before she started crying.
To finally have the chance to hold her baby meant the world to her.
She was so tiny and fragile, but Jessica knew this wouldn't be the end for her.
"Hi baby girl... you are so precious. Mommy loves you." She says with tears coming down her face.
Danny wiped his eyes and kneeled down beside them.
"Hey you... It's daddy. I'm so proud of you.. They didn't think you would make it through the first night. Well you showed them, huh? You're two weeks old! That's big! You just need to gain some weight, and get your lungs really strong.. Then you'll be all better!" He caresses his finger on her leg and kisses her head.
Jessica smiles and says, "Did you wanna hold her?"
"No, you take your time. I do, but she needs her momma."
"Thanks."
Danny ended up getting a couple minutes to hold her.
"Oh wow... You are so beautiful, Arabella. You look just like your mommy. I know that one day you'll grow up and be just like her. Your mom is the most incredible woman in the world, and you are so lucky to have her as a mother. She loves you so much, baby girl." He kisses her head.
***
Later that day the doctors that Jessica and Danny had flown in from all over the world arrived.
They called them there with hopes they could do something for their little girl.
They were in the waiting room with their family when two doctors came out.
They stood up and Danny asked what was going on.
"Mr. and Mrs. Huston, we've examined your daughter, and I'm afraid we both concur with Doctor Phillips."
"What do you mean? There has to be something you can do. There's not a machine? Or-or something? Anything?! You do realize money is no object, right? I don't care how much it cost. Get in there and save my baby!" Jessica raises her voice and points to the door to the NICU.
"It has nothing to do with money, Mrs. Huston. Unfortunately we can't duplicate the conditions in the womb. But I want you to know that everything that can be done is being done. We shouldn't give up hope."
"I don't understand! You are supposed to be the best doctors in the world, there's nothing you can do?" Dorothy asks.
"I wish there was. I am so sorry."
"... Can our family see the baby?" Jessica asks with tears in her eyes.
"Of course."
***
"Wow... She's so beautiful." Sarah says.
"That's my grandbaby!" Dorothy says with a sad voice.
"Is there any point to this? Is it making her stronger, or just keeping her here?" George asks.
"Well.. The machine is what's keeping her hear. In cases like this, this is the time that parents usually decide to.. Unplug the machine."
Jessica lets out a sob and Danny wraps his arm around her.
"Ar-are you saying this is it for her?" Danny asks.
They had been told for the passed two weeks that Arabella's fate didn't look good, but to hear it from the best in the field really hit them hard.
"I'm sorry to say this... *Sighs* But.. She has very little chance of surviving on her own."
"Oh my God." Danny cries.
Jessica looks up at him and says, "Am I selfish for keeping her hooked up to all these machines? I mean, she deserves a chance to live without all this stuff, but... I.. I just can't lose her!"
"No! You are not selfish. You are the most selfless person, so don't say that."
"I just don't know what to do."
Danny looks at the baby and cries more.
"Dan, let's go take a walk." Albert pats his back.
"No, I can't leave." He says reaching towards the baby.
"Yeah, just for a minute, let's go."
Danny and Albert walk out and Danny loses it.
"It's all just hitting me. Hearing it come from that Doctor, is a wake up call. I can't do this!"
"Danny, listen, I don't know whats going on between you and my daughter, but I do know that she needs you more than she needs anyone else right now. You have to keep pushing. Just when you think you can't do it anymore, you have to push through and fight."
"I don't know if I can, Mr. Lange." He cries.
"Jessica needs you! You have to be strong for her."
"It's because of me that we're even in this hell! I hurt your daughter, Al.. and I could kill myself over it."
"That's between you and her, but right now none of that means anything. Put all of that aside and just be with her. I know my little girl, and she's slipping. She's thin, weak, frail.. she's not okay.. and she's depending on you."
"I know.. I know." He sighs.
"Can we walk?"
"Sure."
***
The nurse gives Jessica the baby again so everyone gets a chance to hold her.
Dorothy went first and they all passed her around.
When Jessica got her back, the baby opened her sickly little eyes and Jessica smiled.
"Oh I see your pretty eyes! Arabella, I want you to know that I've done absolutely everything I could have possibly done. Maybe this is your way of saying that you don't want to be in this world... And baby, if two weeks is the time that God planed for you to be on this earth, than that's okay. But I will always always be your mommy. No matter if you are in my arms, or in the arms of the Lord... You'll always be my baby." She kisses her forehead.
Jessica looks up at her mom and cries, "What am I gonna do without her, mom?"
"Sweetie, don't think about that."
"How am I not supposed to? HOW am I gonna live without her?!" Jessica bends over a little and holds her on her body as she sobs.
***
They planned to unplug her the next day, that way she didn't go while they were at home.
Jessica stormed out of the NICU and practically flew by Danny.
"Jess? Jessica!" He runs after her.
When he catches up to her, he grabs her arm and turns her towards him.
"Jessica!"
"I can't do this, Danny. I can't!"
"Jessica we can get through this. I'm here for you."
"Danny, what did I do to deserve this? Why is my baby gonna die?"
"Sweetie, you didn't do anything!"
"Than why is this happening to us?!"
"It could happen to anyone."
"I mean, I'm not really a drinker, I only smoke for work, and I did drugs in high school, but who didn't? That was years ago!"
"Honey, it was nothing you did!"
"THEN WHAT IS IT?!"
"I don't know..."
Jessica hits her back hard up against the wall and drags herself to the ground.
"I just can't believe it."
Danny gets down to her level and says, "Jessica, look at us.. We're gonna make it, okay? You are the strongest woman ever, and you have two kids at home that will be there for you. I'll be there for you. I'm officially moving back in and we're going to help each other with this horrific loss."
"She hasn't gone yet, so don't say that."
"I'm sorry."
"... I just... I don't know..."
"I know, baby. Let's go home, you need to rest." He takes her hand.
***
The next morning Jessica got up and made the kids breakfast before they left for the hospital.
"Mommy, when is Arabella coming home?" Sofia asks.
".. Well baby.. She's probably not coming home."
"What do you mean?" Jackson asks.
"She's very very weak, and... Well..." Jessica's head started spinning and it became harder for her to breathe.
She ran her hand through her hair and closed her eyes.
"Mommy?"
Jessica rubbed her hand on her chest and the kids started to freak out.
"Mom!" Sofia yelled.
"Go get... *Breathes hard* Go get your daddy, baby." She struggles to get the words out.
