Tonight was different from all the others. It was the first night I did not feel indifferent to Mika's presence in the same bed as me.
I was very calm about having to kiss Mika for the video. It would be just and nothing more than a technical kiss. I prepared myself mentally to feel that kiss as if I were kissing a girl. That is, I prepared myself to feel nothing. To be completely neutral to me.
However, that was not what happened. At first the way he looked at me before kissing me was different. I'd never seen that look before. It looked like he was looking directly into my soul. It almost felt as if he could read my thoughts from so deep that was his look. It was also the first time I noticed how his eyes are so beautiful. I had already noticed that they were beautiful but only in that look did I realize that they are not just brown. They are like two hazelnuts or two drops of honey. Or rather ... the two things together.
But what made me think was not the look of Mika but the kiss. Contrary to what I expected it was not like kissing a wall. There was something. Something I could not explain or define. The way he kissed me did not look anything "gay" and I did not know if he was just a great actor or if something was happening to me or to him.
That night, instead of sleeping, I thought. I started questioning myself about everything. My relationship with Mika, my relationship with Fedez, my relationship with Romeu. I wondered if I had ever loved Romeu? I answered yes to myself. However I could not understand how a "fictional" kiss with Mika made me feel things I had never felt in kisses with Romeu.
The only way to rest was to put all those thoughts aside. I told myself that I was just creating an illusion in my head and that it had all been represented. I had to think like that. I could not submit myself to the whole process of putting Mika as just my gay best friend again. It would be too painful and not worth it.
I must have slept for four hours that night. And I'm pretty sure that during those hours I dreamed that Mika was hugging me in bed. A dream that seemed so real and so pleasant.
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A/N: Many feelings. In the next chapter we will have the special participation of one person.
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M & Em (Mika Fanfiction - English version)
Teen FictionMika and Emília have the most open relationship you have ever seen. Behaving as a couple but are just good friends. Not that the portuguese girl did not want more but Mika is gay. As Mika says "We're just two friends, it's not a risky situation", or...
