The letters from the page started to dance in a blur for my vision.
I tried to read Shawn kinda forced me to read it in a practice for my eyes. I pulled my glasses on my nose higher. Trying to focus on just one letter.
Slowly my vision focused again.
Tarzan flopped onto my lap with a thumb.
"Oh hey, cutie". I ruffled my hands through his hair.
"Baby look at this". Shawn waves me over.
I walked over, looking at the scrabel pieces with letters on them.
Shawn and I played a lot of scrabel to find new words for lyrics, but the last time it's getting harder for me.
"How far are you with your book?". He pulled me closer making me sit on his knee facing him.
"Chapter seventeen". I smiled kissing his forehead.
"Good I told you you can read".
"Yes with these glasses without them I can't".
"Baby, you know it isn't taking long before your fully blind so I wanna try something...". He pulled me off his knee turning me around so I was facing the board pulling me on his lap.
He grabbed my glasses putting them on himself.
"Hey, I need that!". I reached for his face.
"No, you don't". He grabbed my hands tapping on the board and the pieces.
I put my elbow on the table resting my chin in my palm starting at the black letters on the pieces trying to form a word.
Shawn played with my hair branding a strain.
After ten minutes I found one.
"Electricity". I shoved the pieces tother.
"Baby that is an 'F' ". He tapped the first piece.
"Oh sorry". I looking down at my hands playing with the ring on shawn's finger.
"It's okay baby look... With some letters, you can make the word 'love' can you find these for me?". He kissed my head.
I looked at the letters carefully taking letter for letter examining them before pleasing them in order.
"I think I have it". I pulled my hair behind my ear.
Shawn leaned over my shoulder resting his chin on it.
"Good job baby". He moved two other pieces behind the word.
"What Is it now?".
I moved my face closer to the pieces starting at it but it became all blurry.
"I can't see".
"Try baby". He kissed right behind my ear.
"I already tried".
He handed my glasses back.
"Lovely".
"And that baby is what you are". He pecked my cheek.
"Would you still like me if I go blind?". I turned towards him.
"Of course, you are my girl my baby blind or not". He pecked my lips shortly.
"Why?".
"Because I love you and you're beautiful". He hugged me.
"My eyes are not". I looked down.
"Let me see". He lifted my face for him to see my eyes.
"Shawn please". I tried to pull his hand away.
"No... See just as beautiful as when I just met you". He kissed my nose.
"You're the sweetest person ever you know that". Tears filled my eyes.
"Thank you, baby". He ruffled his hand through my hair.
"Kiss". I inched closer to his face which was a blur for me.
"You can see me?".
"Of course I can see you I'm not fully blind it's just a blur".
He pecked my lips shortly.
"Will you ever forget how I look like?".
"How can I ever forget what you look like? your cute face will be printed in my brain".
"I love you". He pulled my hair out of my face.
"I love you too". I smiled.
I walked over to shawn's bedroom almost hitting the piano on the way.
"Baby here". Shawn's giggled. I was in the music room.
My vision was all a blur. I could only hear his voice and feel Tarzan following me pressing his body pressing against my leg.
"Shawn!".
Footsteps inched closer. Arms wrapping around me.
I turned around quickly.
"Don't! you scare me". I pulled him away.
"What's wrong baby?". He waved his fingers through mine.
"I can't see". I started to panic a little.
I'm going blind.
"Shawn please I'm scared I don't wanna be blind I don't want to". Tears rolled down my cheeks.
"Baby hey it's gonna be alright, and you tell me what you see".
"Blurry white with peck's of black".
"Can you see any structure of my face?".
"No...". I shook my head.
"Baby it's gonna be all fine.... Come here". He led my head closer to his chest rubbing my back.
Tarzan licked my bare leg, whining softly.
"Aww sweet boy it's okay mummy is okay". Shawn picked him up, i reached out to feel his soft fur feeling better already.
Shaw led us to the bedroom.
I struggled to get on the bed for a while the black peck's in my vision became bigger.
"Baby, y/n take my hand".
I placed my hands on the bed finding his hand rather quickly.
He dragged me onto the bed.
"Thank you".
"No problem baby, is your vision any better?". He squeezed my hand.
"Getting worse than before".
"I'm sorry y/n". He pulled me closer wrapping the blankets over us kissing my hair.
"Can you lay my glasses on the bedside table?". I took off my glasses which he took.
"I love you so much, baby". He pulled my hair back.
"Love you too shawny". I traced my hand up over his arm to his jaw finding his soft lips.
"What are you doing baby".
"Feeling your lips".
"Why?".
"Because I can't see them".
"You're cute". He laughed softly.
"You have to shave". I kissed his lips.
"I will".
"Goodnight shawny". He hugged him.
"Goodnight baby". He snuggled his face into my neck.
As soon as I relaxed a little. Soft breathing hit my skin. Shawn's body weight rested on my back.
I smiled drifting off to sleep.
I opened my eyes. Pulling myself up
No fuck!
I I rubbed my eyes blinking slowly but the only thing I saw was black. Everything was black I saw nothing.
Tears ran down my cheek.
"Shawn?". I turned towards the left side of the bed.
My hand fell onto an empty pillow.
"Shawn". I slide off of bed almost knocking off the orange salt lamp.
Tipping of paws walked towards me.
"Hey, Tarzan where is Shawn?". I reached down suffering through his fur.
"Hey, baby". Shawn took my hand.
"Shawn...". I cried even more.
"Baby o my God hey ssst it's okay". He pulled me into his arms.
"I only see black".
"It's okay, baby I'll buy copies of your favorite books in Hebrew and we can train Tarzan to be a guide dog".
"Am still beautiful?".
"Show me your eyes". He took my face between his hands wiping my tears with his thumb.
"Just as beautiful as always". He kissed my forehead.
Something cold rested on my nose and ears.
"I don't need glasses shawny I'm blind".
"They look cute on you". He boobed my nose.
"If I could see you I would tickle you now".
"You have to find other ways to bug me now". He laughed softly.
I grabbed his arm dragging him to the bed pressing him down.
"I might be blind but I'm not weak".
"I'm not saying you are". She pressed his lips against mine. I felt so happy I have him.
