Y/N'S POV
I sat on the roof of Shawn's house looking at the stars. Like we always did.
Aaliyah invited me over offered me to sleep in Shawn's bedroom tonight.
It's been a week exactly a week since he took his own life.
On a Saturday evening 21:00, he took an overdose on his anxiety pills and died Aaliyah walked in his bathroom a few minutes later she was home alone with Shawn she didn't even call her parents first. She called me.
I didn't know how fast I needed to dive to his house normally I drive twenty minutes over it to go from the community house to shawn's then I was there in ten. I cross the speed limit more than three times, but I didn't really care my friend killed himself I cared about Shawn at that moment.
When I stormed into the bathroom I kneeled down next to Shawn's body trying to wake him up even though I already know he wasn't here anymore. I heaved his body on my lap and cried my lung out.
Aaliyah called her parents.
Since then many and Karen took me to their house for a few days a week I wasn't allowed to go them for always.
I looked back at the shining stars. Up in the sky.
"I love you, Shawn".
I looked down over his neighborhood over the ere streets were we just to play when we were younger. Where Shawn learned me who to drive a car.
I claimed back through the window into his room. I looked around on the little space. His bed untied as always as he laid in it a few hours ago. His room was left behind as he left it.
His notes and even his pen we're still laying on his desk. His guitar lay on his chair as he has never been gone. Like he can walk at any moment.
The door opened slowly.
"Shawn?".
Aaliyah walked in looked around.
"No, I'm not Shawn".
"Sorry, it looks like he is still here".
"I know right... You are the only girl who was allowed to come into his room beside me and mum, he really loved you".
"I love him too".
"How?".
"I don't know I think as my friend".
"You think".
"I actually never thought about it besides last week".
"Sometimes it seemed like he loved you more than you loved him".
"Did he told you?".
"He kinda did he told me that he didn't need a girlfriend because he has you".
I looked around his room catches a place from a picture on his desk from us.
"Do you think it's my fault?"
"No, I'm a hundred percent sure it isn't"
"But I could also say I loved him more..."
"I don't really think that's the case".
"I was a factor in it".
"I just think he was tired of the way people where treating him".
"The way I treat him".
"You are the only person who loved him more than anybody".
"I love him, Aaliyah".
"He loves you too Y/n so much".
I hugged her to prevent myself from crying.
"Anyway... Goodnight Y/n, you can sleep in his bed I don't think he would mind".
"Goodnight Aaliyah".
I changed into his 'heaven' shirt. And stepped into the right side of his bed. Left his side empty.
I closed my eyes tightly trying to bring back the feeling of shawn hugging me.
One of his hands rugged my back the other when through my hair.
I just thought it was my imagination but when I opened my eyes I saw him there was something weird like he was made of fog.
"I love you Y/n I always will".
I stumbled back from him.
"You aren't real".
"The once you love will always come back I promise I'll protect you".
"You still aren't real you are my imagination".
"It is what you wanna believe".
He let go of me stood up from the bed.
My eyes widen in the view.
Wings!
"You...you...you have... Wings... You have wings shawn".
"I know they are kinda broken as you see". He looked down sadly.
"No no no shawn hey they are beautiful".
"Y/n I really need to go now".
"Shawn wait!"
"Yes?".
"I love you".
"Love you too".
Then he faded away leaving me behind into his room.
What did just happened?!
Shawn was here and he had Wing's fricking wing's!..
I tried to find something unreal like in most of my dreams, but u didn't find it.
Did I saw shawn for real?
I saw him as an angel... God,
he was beautiful...
I fell asleep with a lot of thoughts on my mind. A lot about shawn a lot about what I just saw, and about how I could stop what happened a week ago.
I woke up from Karen who nogged on the door.
"Y/n sweetheart are you awake".
"Yes, I am now".
"Sorry for waking you up".
"No, it's okay I'm hungry anyway".
"Manny just made breakfast".
"I'm coming downstairs in a minute".
"Okay, sweetheart".
I changed back into my jeans, a black shirt from Shawn and his Demian jacket. Walked over towards the bedroom, tired not to look at the floor were his body was laying A week ago. I washed my face, fixed my hair into a high ponytail. My eyes traveled towards the anxiety pills on the sink.
I didn't know if I wanted to grow them away or wanna take an overdose myself. I took the little cylinder into my palm. Took out the leftover pills. I stared at them for a while.
I don't wanna be without him...i didn't want him to go...
I was about to take them in. Before Manny's voice called out for me.
"Y/n are you okay?".
"Yea I'm coming".
I put the pills back into the cylinder instead of throwing it away I put it into my pocket just I case.
I walked down the stairs. Into the kitchen.
"Morning".
"Good morning y/n".
Manny put down the mug of coffee in front of me. And stared at me.
"Oh sorry, am I allowed to wear his clothes?".
"I think he doesn't mind that".
Aaliyah sat down beside me.
"Dad how did you sleep?".
"Pretty well princess thanks".
"Didn't something weird happened?".
"I had a weird dream about shawn he came to visit me...".
"That wasn't a dream honey I swear I was awake". Karen kissed his cheek. Manny turned his face to his daughter.
"Did you saw him too?".
"I did". Aaliyah super her water dreamy.
They saw him too?
"He had wings". Everybody shoots the other head to me.
"What did you say, sweetheart?".
"I saw him too and he had wings he was beautiful but didn't really believe me".
"I didn't saw wings". Manny looked at me in shook.
"What did he look like Y/n".
"I don't know Aaliyah like he was made of fog his wings we're bruised and broken... But he was still the most beautiful person I ever saw".
"I think it's the love".
"The what?".
"The love he had for you".
"Explain that to me".
"I learned that in school a few days ago we were talking about mythology and how it all works, people who died might show the people who they loved the most what they became".
"So you think shawn showed Y/n his wings because he loved her the most".
"He loved her another way mum".
"Yes, I love you another way". His voice whispered to me. I held still didn't dared to move.
"Hey, it's okay Y/n it's me".
"I'm not supposed to see you it's all in my mind".
"It's what you wanna believe".
I felt something tugged on my hair pulling it behind my ear.
"I'll be your protective angel".
I turned around saw him in full life. He didn't have wings anymore he wasn't made out of fog.
His hands-on my face slightly caressing my cheeks.
He leaned in and kissed me.
I shook out of my sleep tired to continue my breathing I looked around the room. Shawn's room Aaliyah walked in, with a glass of water sat down on the bed.
"Y/n are you all okay".
"Yes yes uhm... How late is it?".
"It's half-past twelve are you sure you are okay I heart you talking about wings in your sleep".
"Are you sure I was sleeping?".
"One hundred percent sure".
"Sorry for waking you up".
"It's okay good night".
"Goodnight Aaliyah".
I lay down on the pillow. Thinking about what's wrong with my mind.
"It was a dream shawn is gone" I whispered to myself.
I lay there restless for the rest of the night.
I wish you were here
