Y/N'S POV
I unlocked the door of shawn's apartment I expected being welcomed with the sound of guitar strums and his beautiful voice but i didn't heard a thing at all.
He probably took a nap don't worry
I walked into the living room to see shame sitting crossed legs on his kitchen island. Meditating. I stared at him for a few seconds.
He opened his eyes and looked at me aimlessly.
"Hey, I got your caramel latte fr...". I stopped because he rested his head in his hands and started crying.
"Hey, Shawn hey buddy what's wrong?". I stood between his legs set the his drink down on the counter rubbed his arm to get his attention.
Shawn...Hey buddy, come on cheer up".
"I can't y/n". He pulled my hand always slowly.
"What's her name?".
"What?".
"Which girl left you in the morning this time?".
"It's not about any girl".
"What's wrong then".
She sniffed grabbed his phone and gave it to me.
"Look at Twitter". Tears streamed down his face.
I opened twitter and saw posts overflowing with the hashtag #shawnmendesisoverparty.
"Shawn...". I lay my hand on his knee to comfort him.
"They... They say I'm rude and poor".
"Shawn, it's okay hey I'm here now". I draw patterns on his knee to keep him calm. While reading the honorable maggeses they say about him.
I MET SHAWN MENDES TODAY HIS MUSIC SUCKS BUT HE IS HOT!
#SHAWNMENDESISOVERPARTY
WHEN I MET SHAWN HE LOOKED AT THE CUTS ON MY ARM AND SAID: " COULDN'T YOU CUT DEEPER THAN SPIT ON MY SKIN
#SHAWMENDESISOVERPARTY
SHAWN LOOKS SO HOMELESS SOMETIMES
#SHAWENDESISOVERPARTY
"is it better if I stop making music?". He was still crying.
"What shawn no remember that these aren't your fans, they would never do that to you".
"I know I love them and they try so hard to make it better but still".
"You care about what people think of you right?".
"I do maybe a bit too much". He ran his hand through his hair shoot me a painful smile.
"You want me to get your beta-blockers?".
He school his head.
Oh yea no medication anymore
"I'll get your stickers".
"It's not my anxiety!".
"It is. and maybe it won't help everything but it at least helps to slow down your heart rate so you can think straight instead of focusing on your breathing". I took his hand and dragged him off the counter, he slide off the surface and completely lean on me.
"Shawn!" But before I know we were on the floor.
"You're doomed, Mendes".
"O my God shit sorry". He got off of me and dragged me up.
"Shawn, you know that it was a joke buddy".
"Did I hurt you?".
"No".
"Really?".
"Shawn, you didn't".
"I'm sorry y/n I gave to hurt everybody I'm so sorry". He raised his knees and pulled his head against them.
"Hey, Shawn hey buddy don't cry you didn't hurt me".
"But...". He looked at me sadly.
"Come on let's get your stickers". I pulled him up. walk him to his bedroom say him down on his bed, and went to the bathroom to find his stickers they basically work the same as beta-blockers they slow down his heart rate.
It gives little pulses to the heart so it slows down for as far as I know completely harmless.
When I came back Shawn sat on the carpet guitar in his lab humming a song.
"Got them". I held up the package with the stickers.
"Hey". He looked up from his guitar.
"What are you singing?". I crossed my legs under me.
"Just putting little note together". She looked back at the strings and hummed the tune.
"I just can't do this!". He ran his hand through his hair.
"You don't gave to write music now". I took his hand and pulled his guitar away.
"Take your shirt off".
"What?".
"The stickers idiot".
He rolled his eyes and laughed softly.
He grabbed the fabric of his shirt and pulled it over his head, turned his back to me. I stripped the stickers from its package and stuck it carefully to his skin. I massaged his shoulders to get the tension out. He started to relax under my touch, laughing softly.
"What?". I looked over his shoulder to see his face.
"Nothing?".
"No, tell me".
"Thank you".
"No problem".
"No really thank you for being here I know I'm not one of the easiest friends".
"Shawn remember in kindergarten?".
"The day you asked me to be your best friend?".
"Forever and ever and ever". I wrapped my arms around him and pressed my face in his back.
"We promised by candy rings".
"Yes, so what candy rings we're really important back then".
"You ate both of them right after". He lay his hand on top of mine and held them around his waist, he draw circles on my skin with his thumb aimlessly staring at his guitar on front of him.
He put his shirt back on and turned his face to me guitar in his lap again.
"You wanna try again?".
He nodded his head.
"Only if you sing". He looked up at me and smiled.
"Shawn... I don't think I'm good enough for singing your song".
"You aren't actually gonna sing it I just need some lyrics for this tune".
"What kinda lyrics".
"Anything we'll find one". He started playing.
"Shawn, I don't even know what wanna write".
"I don't know neither". He started playing anyway.
"Just start when you're ready y/n".
I nodded at him and smiled. Rested my chin in my hands. for a while I started at his featured, His lazy eye. His cheek scare. More people think it's an imperfection but he is flawless.
I won't change anything about him...
"Shawn?".
He hummed in response and looked up from the strings.
"I think I got something".
"Amazing, sing it".
"You don't have to prove yourself don't try to be someone else, you don't have to prove yourself don't try to be someone else you are loved".
"Wait that's it?". He looked at me confused.
"Yes, that's it".
"I love that it's amazing... You are amazing". He pulled his guitar away and hugged me.
"Thank you again for being the best best friend ever y/n really I know it is hard sometimes".
"Always Shawn". I rubbed his back.
"I love you".
"Love you too".
He kisses my forehead and hugged me tighter.
You are loved, Shawn
