THIS STORY MIGHT TRIGGER SUICIDE BEHAVIOR IF YOU STRUGGLE WITH THAT, I RECOMMENDED TO NOT READ THIS
SHAWN'S POV
I was just done with my shower walked over to the living room with just my sweatpants on the tower over my neck still drying my hair.
Someone nogged onto my door I opened it and, looked down to my friend Y/n who stood in front of me blankly staring at my face.
"Y/n what's wrong?".
"Shawn?". Her voice slightly broke, I studied her closely. She was soaked from rain her leather jacket as a second skin stocked to her body. Her face was slightly red raindrops fell down her cheeks she was shaking.
These aren't raindrops they are tears...
"Hey, y/n come here come inside". She walked into my arms leaned up against my bare chest her cold face against my skin.
"Damn you're cold".
She didn't respond.
"Y/n the only word you said was name what's wrong..? Tell me".
"I'm so tired". She tempered against chest was supercooled by now.
"Wanna take a shower?". She shook her head her tears left on my skin.
"I just wanna sleep".
We stood there for a while her head pressed to my chest my hands stroking her hair. She took breaches back, I felt her slowly doze off against me.
I bend down wrapped one arm around her back the other under her knees picked her up and walked towards the bedroom lay her down on my bed. I managed to change her into one of my sweaters, tugged her into the thick covers.
She was already sleeping I kissed her forehead.
I slowly walked away but she wrapped her hand around my arm.
"Can we hug?".
"Always". I lay next to her.
She turned to me and wrapped her arms around me. I wrapped mine around her waist rested my chin on her shoulder.
"Remember when we walked away from home because we didn't agree with my mum?".
"About some stupid cookies".
We wandered around the street for ten minutes".
"Yes, good memory".
She pulled her face from my chest and looked into my eyes, tried to smooth back that one curl in front of my face. She closed her eyes her fingers softly running through my hair.
"Y/n?".
She didn't respond.
"Y/n are you still awake?".
"Yes... Go on I'm listening".
I reached out my hand to her hair wrapped one stain around my fingers. Stated at her face for a while.
"Are you still awake?".
"Yes".
"What's your favorite memory about us?".
"I don't know Shawn I think just being with you every day... What's yours actually".
"I don't even know if you remember...". She opened her eyes those eyes I've seen them so much... In pain, heartbreaks, tears, happiness, and grief. I've never seen them this way. So hers and so distance from how they normally are. So grateful but so empty. So soft but still broken.
"Shawn, I remember everything about you".
"I don't know if you wanna hear it".
"I wanna hear it".
"Okay, I Uhm... Mine was... Remember at the party?".
"Which party we went to a lot".
"At Aaliyah's friend...".
"I do".
She doesn't know what I'm talking about?
Maybe it didn't really meant something for her it was a dare anyway...
I started to get nervous, I pulled my hand away from her hair to prevent her from noticing I was tempering.
"Shawn?".
I looked down didn't wanna talk.
"Shawn what's wrong?".
"Y/n did you remember that dare when I needed to kiss you?".
Her pupils expanded, her lips held still in a slight gap. Just like that night, she heard I needed to kiss her for a dare.
"Yes, what's up with that?".
"I uhm...".
"Did I do something wrong?".
"What? No, I wanted to say that is my favorite memory of you".
She smiled.
"I thought I did something wrong that you didn't like it".
"Didn't like it?".
I shoved even closer towards her, let my fingers travel over her arm, up and down. I felt goosebumps spreading over her skin. I looked into her eyes pulled her hair behind her eye with my other hand, rested it on her cheek caresses her soft skin with my thumb. I leaned in until my forehead was resting against hers.
"If you only knew... If you only knew how nervous I was to do that how my whole body started shaking how goosebumps raised all over my body. How my face heated up I catches your frightening eyes. How my heart seemed to melt when your lips touched mine".
"If you only knew how scared I really was".
"Oh, yea I felt that you were shaking so bad".
"Sorry".
"Did I calmed you though?"
"You always calm me".
I smiled at her.
"Good to hear".
She smiled back at me, which made my heart melt.
"Can I kiss you again?".
She shook her head slightly.
"We can better not catch feelings right now".
"Okay".
She smiled sadly took my hand and pulled it around her waist.
"Goodnight Shawn".
"Goodnight Y/n I love you".
"Love you too".
She closed her eyes quickly dozed off to sleep. I waited until I was sure she wouldn't wake up anymore. And pecked her lips softly.
After looking at her sleeping face I dozed off too. My arms still wrapped around her.
I woke up from a door falling into its lock.
"Y/n?".
I opened my eyes look at the empty space between my arms where she was supposed to be.
I walked over to the living room, on the kitchen island was a note. From her.
Dear Shawn,
I came to you last night to say goodbye to see you for the last time, to hear your voice again before I go.
Thank you for being there for me through all the years but even you can't fix me. It's not your fault.
I love you, goodbye until we see each other again. If there is a possibility we can see each other again.
Love Y/n
I told her so many times not to go that she can't go!
I refuse to lose another friend on suicide...
I ran back to my wardrobe pulled on some random shirt. And ran out of my apartment.
The wind hit me it want sharp as winters we support to be. The last years we didn't really had a winter.
It was a cloudy day but not cold at all.
I walked a few minutes to find out it was pretty quiet I could literally walk onto the road.
I looked around, trying to find her she wasn't here.
The river!
The river we went to, to win when we had a summer holiday.
I walked toward the river stepped over the safety rail into the stone cliff right above the river.
I looked at both my sides. She is nowhere to be seen. I refused to look over the cliff knowing there was a change... I also knew I needed to face reality.
I forced myself to glace over the cliff.
Her body numb soaked in the river water. Covered in blood, she looked like a baby animal so fragile and hopeless.
I collapsed on the stone, crying my eyes out. The last time I was there to save her on the last second. Now I was too late.
"I love you Y/n I love you!!".
"You can't be gone... You can't leave me behind"
Tears were streaming down my face, I've never cried so much in my life like now.
"I love you".
You can't go
