A/n: for all demisexual people out there because I think we don't get a lot of representation.
Y/N'S POV
"Wow, y/n what happened to his hair?". Julie tried to smooth back the shawn's curls.
"Don't ask me he is a wild sleeper".
"And you sleep too fast". Shawn turned his head to me.
"Shawn keeps still for a second". Tiffany was rolling up the sleeves from his t-shirt. Shawn stopped moving but stared at me deadly.
"Oh sorry, mister popstar but I have to coach young athletes of course I'm tired at the end of the day".
"Aww, cookie bub". He ran his hand through my hair I held his hand there as I caressed the skin of the back of his hand.
"I wished I could do this with you".
"I don't think I can but you have Kaia".
He dropped our hands and sigh.
Kaia isn't my girl don't get me wrong "she is nice but still not you".
"She is a model, of course, she isn't like me". I sigh and looked down.
I wish I was like her
He rubbed my shoulder.
"Hey, cookie bub what's wrong?".
"What do you think is wrong? my fluffy bear is doing some crazy weird photoshoot with a model". I smiled sadly
"Are you jealous y/n?".
"Of course, I am who wouldn't be?".
"Come on where is my confidence girl?". He took my hand laced his fingers together with mine.
"Not really here". I looked up at him and smiled.
"I love you cookie bub you are mine and I'm yours".
"You are mine". I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him.
"Only mine... My fluffy bear". I buried my face in his t-shirt, inhaling his signature.
"I'm definitely yours cookie bub". He kissed the top of my head. He wrapped his arms around me tighter.
"Hey, guys". Kaia walked I to the warehouse.
"Hey, Kaia". Shawn hugged her shortly.
Kaia turned to me and smiled.
"So you are y/n".
"Yes". I stretched out my hand to her.
"Nice to finely meet you shawn can't shut his stupid mount about you".
She is nice
I laughed softly as shawn hugged me from behind resting his chin on my head.
"How can I shut up about her look at her cute face, my cookie bub".
"I love you fluffy bear".
"O my God those are likely the cutest nicknames I've heard in my entire life" Kaia pressed her hand against her heart.
"Trust me it will get annoying". Julie pulled one of shawn's curls back into its place which fell back in front of his forehead. She sighs and puts more gel on her hand rubbing it into his hair.
"Tell me about it". Tiffany laughted.
"Good luck fluffy bear you'll do amazing".
"You don't have to stay here you know?".
"I know but I want to because supporting you is important".
A smile grew on his face his whole face lighting up his cheeks rosy.
"You're cute when you are getting shy".
"Y/n stop making me all soft I have a shoot in a few minutes".
I smiled and ruffled my hand through his hair.
"Y/n!". Julie turned to me and glanced at me.
"Sorry, Julie". I smooth back shawn's hair.
"Shawn come here!". Kaia's photographer waved him over.
"I love you cookie bub".
"Love you too fluffy bear". I grabbed his hand and kissed the back of it.
I stared aimlessly at shawn doing the shoot what aculy happened was a blur for me I looked because I wanted to support him but I just couldn't look at Kaia another girl sucking off his face even I never do that.
Our relationship is pretty much vanilla and fluff.
Is that a bad thing does he think its a bad thing?
"Are you okay?". Tiffany lay her hand on my sholder.
"Yes, I am just kinda hard to look at your boyfriend being this way". I looked down.
"Is it only with shawn or in general?". "In general, I just don't really understand the hook-up culture at all but shawn is mine and it hurts more".
"You can walk away if it gets too much you know".
"No, I'll support him".
"I think he will understand if you leave for a while".
I shook my head.
"I'm fine here".
"Okay, I was just checking on you".
"Thank Tiffany". I turned to her and smiled.
"Shawn really loves you he told me first that he loved you three years ago".
"I love him too so much". I turned back to shawn who was staring at me his face lights up when he saw me he waved at me and blew a kiss on my direction.
Cute!
"Shawn look at Kaia and kiss her". Kaia's photographer adjusted his camera.
"Wait what?". Shawn turned to him.
"Come on don't be so childish shawn its just a kiss".
"My girlfriend is there". He pointed at me.
"Just kiss Kaia".
Not so cute...
He looked at me in shook he knew what I was thinking but this is his job he has to. I smiled at him to comfort him.
"It's okay". I whispered.
I got a sad smile in return, I know he hates to let me down I know he hates to see me like this but he has too.
He ran his hand through his hair and coughed nervously.
"Shawn you don't have to". Kaia placed her hand on his shoulder to comfort him.
He shook his head.
"Just let's get over with it right?".
Kaia nodded sadly.
I froze when his lips met hers. There was a rush a kinda hunger in the kiss, to be honest, I've never seen him like this.
Tears welled up in my eyes.
This is harder to watch then I though
I tied to keep watching for a while but as soon as the photographer motioned Kaia to run her hands through his hair I particularly lost it. I folded my arms over my chest and rocked back and forth on the ball of my feet.
Doesn't anybody find this weird? Well apparently not...i'm heading out of here
I looked at shawn one last time before turned to the exit, but he was too distracted.
Of course, he is, he is with a model now!
I quietly made my way outside the warehouse sunlight burning on my back. I broke out crying leaning against the wall buried my face in my hands.
I'm broken...
"Y/n?".
I looked up to see my boyfriend standing in front of me holding my hand.
"Hey, cookie bub are you okay?".
"What do you think?!".
"Yes sorry, the stupid question". He opened his arms for me. I walked right into them.
"I'm broken". I buried my face in his chest.
"No... No, don't say that ever again you hear me?". He grabbed my shoulder and pulled away held me there and looked at me.
"Shawn, I saw it".
"Saw what?".
"That thing you did with your body when you kisses her... What thing you did with your eyes".
"Y/n...".
"Maybe you are better of without me without a stupid childish demisexual girlfriend".
He shook his head and kissed me softly.
"I'm not I would be completely lost". He took my hand and walked with me back inside.
"Why guys we are going home y/n doesn't feel so great".
"It's okay shawn take care of her". Julie smiled.
Tiffany made her way over to me and grabbed my hand.
"I hope you'll feel better soon sweetheart".
"Nice to meet you y/n".
"Nice to meet you too Kaia". I smiled at her shortly before shawn pulled me back outside to the parking loft.
"Shawn...".
"No, we are gonna go home and cuddle".
I smiled softly.
"I know you love cuddles".
"I love you, and your cuddles".
"Love you too cookie bub".
The drive home was silent I kept staring out of the window while shawn focused on the road ahead of us.
I collapsed on shawn's bed letting the covers catch my tears.
Shawn pulled his hoodie over his head and wrapped his arms around me. Lay it on top of me trying not to crush me with his weight.
"Tell me what's wrong cookie bub".
"I just feel so broken so lost in this world".
"What do you mean y/n?". He kissed my head.
"I feel like I'm broken because I can't feel the way other people can".
"I don't mind that you don't feel instantly sexually attracted it just takes some time".
"I'm scared that I will never feel that way shawn".
"Why?".
"Because it's over a year already".
"Cookie bub listen to me... I love you no matter what demisexual or not you can even be asexual and I'll be fine with it".
"I don't want to be asexual, demisexual is already pathetic". I turned around on my back and looked at him.
"You just have to give it time and in that time we can work on our bond just tell me what do you".
"Can you fix me to a normal person?".
"You are a normal person you just pshicly can't feel sexually attracted to a person unless there is an emotional bond cookie bub".
"Some people say it's not real or normal".
"So what this is how you feel and that fact can't be changed, also I can't be normal in the hookup culture going on nowadays".
"Do you love me fluffy bear?". I pulled the stubborn curl from his face.
"I love you a lot cookie bub".
"I adore you... My fluffy bear".
His face lightens up he prepped kisses all over my face and hugged me tighter.
Fluffy bear
