Y/N'S POV
"If you wanna cry if you wanna let all your feelings out and let them go then let them but after that, you have to move on okay". He squeezed my hands.
I nodded trying to hold back my tears.
"You really don't wanna tell me who this all is about?".
I looked up to shawn's eyes my heart broke instantly.
You would never forgive me, Shawn, you won't...
"You won't understand".
"Okay, tell me when you're ready". He pulled my hair behind my ear.
I never will be
"Y/n, hey it's gonna be fine if he doesn't want you he isn't worth you, you are amazing". He wrapped his arm around my neck and hugged me.
"Sorry".
"For what".
" I'm sure you have better things to do than looking at my pathetic face and trying to...". His phone cut me off.
He answered and a smile grew on his lips
"Hey, babe".
"Yes sure give me a minute I'll be there".
"No, it's fine".
"No, I love you more".
"You are cute babe".
A lump started to form on my throat tears build up in my eyes made my vision blurry. My head started spinning on the way how he said babe to her. I literally think I need to throw up.
Of course, of course, he called her babe...
I chocked on the air I breathe in, started coughing heavily.
Shawn turned his head to me held his phone from his ear for a second.
"You're okay".
I nodded.
He started talking to the phone again. "Babe, don't worry I've got you, I've got you, babe".
Shut up Shawn I'm getting sick of that word!
He hung up and took his denim jacket from my desk chair put it on.
"I have to go back... Sofia is waiting for me".
I just nodded scared to actually speak and for my voice to break.
"Just call me if you feel bad again".
I pushed down the lump in my throat.
"Its okay Connor is coming home soon".
"Good". He hugged me quickly and walked out.
I collapsed back onto my bed pressed my head into my pillow which absorbed my tears as soon as the streamed over my face.
"Why can't you just understand that I love you, Shawn?!". I closed my eyes and for a quick second I pictured Shawn smiling at me, that slowly faded to Shawn kissing Sofia I tried to get it out of my head to picture everything else than them. but how harder I try it stays in my head, however.
I pulled my face from the pillow and pushed myself up went to the bathroom and washed my face with water. Pulled the hood from my hoodie over my head. And walked to the living room. Pulled out the leftovers from the refrigerator for Connor.
I sat on the sofa waiting for my roommate to come back.
"Y/n I'm home". Connor walked up to me.
"Hey". I instantly hugged him.
He looked at me saw my bloodshot eyes.
"Did you cry?". He lay his hands on my shoulders.
I nodded.
"It's Shawn isn't it?".
"Yes...". I looked down at my feet.
"Y/n I understand but you can't force him to love you his heart is with Sofia she is pretty kind".
"She isn't".
"Have you ever talked to her?".
"I don't need to". I pressed my face in the fabric of his jacket.
"What can I do to make you feel better?".
"I think I just need to sleep".
"Okay, good night". He kissed my forehead.
"Your food is on the kitchen counter". I pointed at the blow of food.
"Thank you y/n you're the best".
I walked back to my room lay back in bed. Didn't even bothered to change into my pj's.
Started at the ceiling trying not to think about Shawn and Sofia sucking watch other faces off. As soon as I hoped not to think about it the images of my mind it. It didn't matter what I did.
Eyes closed: I saw them.
Eyes open: I saw them.
I always see them and it kills me. I looked at through the window where shawn's room window was. Stared at the darkroom the outlines from his bed and the set up 'studio' he made with his laptop and guitar. In the night when we both can't really sleep the stars playing guitar and I leave my window open to hear it.
The light was turned on, Shawn stumbled backward stretched out his hand for sofia and spilled her against his chest, kissing her. I always didn't want to look but at this point, I was in shook.
"Shawn". I started at the window to see them and my own reflection sitting in bed completely frozen.
He took his shirt off.
Shawn!". I stumbled out of bed and class to my window tears streamed down my face as I watched his lips on hers. She reached for her weather and took it off too. I read for my phone next to me and called him in panic.
"Come on shawn pick up, pick up shawn".
"He, this is shawn I can't pick up the phone right now so leave a message".
