Y/N'S POV
I sat on my windowsill looking down at the empty street the memories plashed back the laughers from my friends filled my mind again. I've talked to them a lot. through a screen but it's not the same. we are able to see each other while keeping a distance from six feet that's too far away to touch to close enough to break me.
I remember the day's in kindergarten when we used to play boys vs girls. Then Julia Alessia and I met brian. He became our friends because of Alessia. Julia and I didn't want a boy as a friend but Alessia never will cut somebody out. So she bound us together.
The day we went to fifth grade and we thought we are growing up, that day we added a new friend to our group, shawn he seemed like a shy kid but because he was brian's friend from soccer training we accepted him.
To be honest, he was that boy you never expect to be handsome.
but then high school came along. Puberty hit him and it hits him hard. His hair grows and curls began to develop his voice turned into a beautiful low sound. His jawline contoured more. He just became more beautiful. He was like a magnet for girls literally they would hang onto him. I felt myself kinda being Seward to him too but I couldn't just flirt with him because he is my best friend.
Shawn and I are the same medial college and it seems like he had a second puberty and he is mostly being crowed with students. But thought it all he stayed friends with the introverted girl in the back of the class. With me.
Because of this epidemic, it's all taken away from me he is taken away from me. And even if I see Brian, Julia, and Alessia not as much as I see shawn they seem to be taken away from me too. There will be no more study sessions with shawn we're we cram the hard to pronounce terms into our brain no more sleepovers with the girls talking about how our lives change throughout the years. No more trips to the drive-thru from Starbucks with brian screaming along with our favorite songs.
I will never forget the last time I saw them we went to our park where we used to play when we were kids. And study when we were in high school. It was a beautiful day the weather was perfect we stayed there for hours just talking and catching up on old memories. Brian and Alessia announced that they were officially together now that wasn't really a surprise they were practically already married in eleventh grade.
Connor Julia's boyfriend picked her up to have dinner with his parents he is a good guy always happy and funny.
After a while, brian and Alessia left too.
I didn't mind being along with shawn at all. We both loved each other's company
*Flashback*
"No surprise that brian and Alessia are together now".
"Yes, I wasn't really surprised too". I rested my head on his shoulder.
"I always wonder if you're really happy if you have a relationship".
"Don't ask me I've never been in one... You were with Lauren who was that?".
"Mixed feelings".
I softly laughted. Stared in front of me towards the grass.
"Y/n?".
I pulled away from him raised my eyebrow.
"How do you actually feel?".
"About what?".
"Love".
"I dont know".
"You've never kissed someone right?".
"Shawn you know I didn't".
"Don't just wanna be over with it?".
"I think I'm fine waiting".
"Okay...".
Wait...
"Shawn...".
"What?".
"Do you wanna kiss me?".
"No...".
"Shawn!".
"Okay...okay yes okay I just like you... A lot".
I stood up and walked away.
"Y/n?".
"What?".
"Want me to walk you home?".
"No, I'm fine".
"I love you...".
"Yea love you too".
*End of flashback*
I left him just like that I left him alone. Thinking I should see him the next day and apologize to him then. That day never came.
I got out of my trance by shawn nogging onto the glass. He waved at me.
"Shawn?".
"Y/n I need to talk to you".
"You didn't really picked the right moment now".
"That's not my fault".
I laughed and pulled the roller blind up all the way.
"I missed you". He lay his hand onto the glass.
"Shawn don't... Don't make me regret what I did that day".
"Y/n...".
"I'm sorry shawn". I pressed my hand into the window too.
"Hey, it's okay y/n it's okay".
"No shawn maybe for you but not for me".
"It's gonna be fine y/n".
"No, you know sometimes when you're dreaming you have the opportunity to go do something you really want? But you don't"
"What do you wanna say?".
"Shawn, I regret not kissing you!".
"You're joking right.".
I shook my head.
"I'm not shawn I fell for you".
"Wait you do?".
I nodded and looked down.
"I know I messed up now you can go if you want".
"What no y/n I really wanted to kiss you too and not only for you to be over with it".
"Don't you think this is a bad timing to talk about this we can't even hug each other shawn"?
"No y/n I wanna kiss you".
"You are lying to yourself".
"I don't".
"you dont".
"I just wanna kiss you please open the door it's just a few seconds".
"Shawn, I can't do that we can get arrested".
"But I wanna kiss you".
I shook my head.
"Y/n look at me... Look at me!".
Slowly my eyes met his, his face lighted up.
His eyes traveled from my eyes to my lips.
"You know...".
"You wanna kiss me".
"No...".
"What then?".
"I'm mentally kissing you already".
"Shawn I...".
"Which lipstick do you use?".
"What?".
"Which lipstick?".
"Why?".
"I'm trying to image the flavor".
"I laughted.
"O my God shawn!"
Say it".
Cherry lip balm"
"Still the same shower gel".
"Still the same shower gel and the same shampoo and conditioner".
"Same products for skincare?".
"Yes".
"Good... Your lips taste good'.
"Well thanks".
He rested his head against the window as I followed his lead.
"When we are allowed to be close again be ready for the best kiss ever".
I closed my eyes feeling the heat rising to my cheeks.
"I missed this talking to you 'live' you "know".
"Still this school year is gone"
All taken away
