Pictures Of You - Bella Ramsey Oneshots

I can't handle change | bella x reader

CW: cheating, arguing, bellas kind of a bitch, anger issued reader, normal ella one-shots yk

disclaimer: anger issues are in fact i real things and not something to be proud of. if you have them that's fine. I do too, but please refrain from talking about them like their something that should be romanticized because they aren't. they are a real fucking issue that is genuinely fucking horrible.

Song: I cant handle change - Roar

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y/ns pov:

Bella has been very distant lately, they have been hanging out with their friends more than me. and I get it Bella has friends that they want to do stuff with. but it's like interfering with our relationship. 

I'm scrolling through Bella's new threads, they are in LA right now. they posted a mirror picture of them looking visibly tired. a part of me wants to comment on it and tell them to go to sleep but i just like it and move on with my day. 

I don't want to annoy them but I want to see how they're doing. It's 1 am here and around 9 there so they might be sleeping I'm not sure. they might be jet lagged, I click on their contact and click audio call, I don't feel like face timing right now.

it rings for a few seconds then I hear the voicemail. before I set my phone down and i texted Bella "Goodnight, I love you" text. I sighed and lyed down. going back on threads, and scrolling through the comments on bella's recent post. I see on that caught my eye. 'can i call you mine?' one of bellas friends commented on the post. bella replying with the blushing emoji. "what the fuck?" i say out loud. 

I decide not to say anything on it until bella comes back home tomorrow. I silently cry myself to sleep. bella told me yesterday, thats right. we havent spoken since yesterday. that their friend is picking them up and dropping them off so i wont need to worry about anything.

a part of me knows exactly which friend it is but im not assuming anything. 

i woke up around 2 hours ago and i hear keys rattling in the front door. i walk over to it and open it, i knew who it was of course, i smile at them, stepping forward and wrapping my arms around their neck, acting oblivious to everything. they wrap their arms loosly around my waist. "hey" they say. "hi" i say back, kissing their lips in which they dont return. i pull away and step back, making a walk space for bella, as they walk in i shut the door and lock it. i notice bellas sleeve go up to their mouth, she wipes the kiss away. i feel a sting in my chest but i decide to ignore it. 

"did you have fun?" i ask softly, considering they were with friends half the time id assume for them to have a good time. "yeah it was alright." they said setting their bag down. their acting like im a random person. i follow them into our room. 

i sigh and sit down on the bed. "whats wrong?" they ask, not sounding like they care at all.

"do you even love me anymore?" i blurt out. "what?" 

"i saw everything bella." "what do you mean??" they turn around, guilt on their face. considering their an actor i would think they'd be able to hide it better. "i know you like her bella." 

"like who?" 

"oh you know exactly who." "oh. them.." bella says. "im sorry" they arent sorry? their only sorry because they got caught. they dont give a fuck about their actions. they dont give a fuck about me. 

"no your not bella" i say, they stay silent. "you didnt even respond when i texted you that i loved you, you didnt call me back, you sitting here flirting with other girls, do you give a shit about me or not!?" i yell stepping closer to them. 

"i dont love you anymore y/n." bella blurts out. the sting in my chest comes back, i feel like i just got stabbed in the back. me and bella have been together for 3 years. i wasnt execpting it to end. especially like this. 

a tear runs down my face, i speed walk out of the room and slammed the wooden door behind me, pushing the water-filled glass vase over with the now dead flowers bella had got me for our 3rd anniversary back in july, I kept them because I really like dead flowers, they have no use now.

I slipped my converse on, walking out the house door. That's it, me and Bella are broken up. if I told my 17-year-old self that I and them were over she would've not believed me. bella wouldnt have etheir. 

3 months later.

i should be over them, i really should. but im not. i still love them. but i cannot go back to them, one because they dont love me, two because they have a new girlfriend.

 ive blocked them on everything but i still have their number memorized. a part of me wants to text them one last time and another part of me just wants to fucking move on. i hate feeling like this, feeling like im being cheated on with someone who im not even talking to anymore. i still see edits of me and bella on tiktok. mine and bellas fans really liked us. bellas new girlfriend has gotten alot of hate which she doesnt really deserve. shes a sweet person and i know that because ive met her before. i wish her the best with bella and i hope they dont break her like they did with me.

im sitting in my room at my old house, which is genuinely pathetic because I'm 21 years old, my parents are out of town so it feels like im living by myself again, which is nice. i enjoy it. im playing my favourite artist on my record player i almost feel like myself again. its very nice.

i wish bella was here though. sometimes i find myself talking to air pretending like its them. if anything its embarrassing. 

since bellas now dating one of my co-stars from a film i did ages ago im following her on different platforms. she recently posted on instagram a picture of her and bella hands intertwined. I dont like this.

ive never been good with handling different things, different scenarios. seeing bellas comments on maries posts genuinely made me feel sick. i hate this so much, i fucking hate it.

'pretty girl' i remember when i was the pretty girl in their eyes. 

'beautiful girlfriend' fuck

i knew i shouldnt feel like this, they moved on and i need to accept that. they dont like me anymore. but it shouldnt have ended like this.

i miss whenever i felt insecure they would tell me im beautiful and kiss the places i didnt like. when they loved me, when they used to actually meant what they said. im looking back at our old text messages.

'Goodnight, I love you' was the last thing said. 

ive come to realize i cant handle change.