Kabhi to nazar milao

Embarrassed

As Naina sat brushing her hair in the room later, she recalled the whole scene. Colour crept up her cheeks and she closed her eyes. How could she have reacted to Sameer in this way?  She could not look at herself in the mirror when the image of her plastered to Sameer's chest flashed in her mind. The brush slipped to the floor and she covered her face with her hands. And when they had reached the hostel building, she had openly stared at him, her eyes wandering over his physique... Oh God! She wanted to die.

How will she face him again? Naina had no idea why she had behaved in this manner. Never before in her life had she been so close to a boy. Except the recent incident with Neeraj, no one had touched her. The thought of Neeraj opened another door. When Neeraj had held her hand, Naina had found the touch filthy... she had felt violated. But Sameer's handhold had not felt wrong. The touch of his body had resulted in different sensations in her whole being but nothing had felt dirty.

She was drowning in this complicated situation... on one hand she was happy about whatever happened, she could see Sameer's concern for her... but on the other hand, she was scared that Sameer might feel that she was trying to cling on... like so many other girls she had seen in school.

Here in college too, some girls initially had shown interest in him, but seeing his habit of staying alone and aloof, mostly formed an opinion that he had a big ego.

Naina had felt like one of them. She couldn't understand what came over her. "Ab kal college mein Sameer dikhega to kya karungi?" She swallowed hard.

Finally, trying to divert her mind, Naina got up to put the wet clothes for drying. She rinsed the saree and spread it out on the clothes stand near the door as it was still raining outside. When she picked up the blouse, the low cut slowly registered in her senses. "Hey bhagwaan, Sameer to mere peeche khada tha... to kya usne... " her eyes shut tight and she slapped her forehead, inhaling through clenched teeth. He had definitely seen her like this. "Naina, pagal ladki, Tu bhool kaise gayi yeh blouse kaisa hai... Sameer kya sochega tere baare mein..." She was going mad. But the torment wasn't over yet. " Oh, to isliye usne mere balon se band nikala tha..." another slap on the forehead... "Yeh khyaal tere dimaag mein kyon nahi aaya Naina, ghar se hi baal khol ke aati"

Her face was red with embarrassment and forehead was red with her own constant slaps.

"Par maine pallu to kandhe pe daala tha na," she reasoned with herself.
"Achcha, aur kya wo kandhe pe tha us samay... rickshaw se utarte hi to hawa se hat gaya tha", her own reply silenced her.

And then her image popped up in front of her eyes, as she had entered the room and glanced in the mirror.

Another horror story. Another forehead slap.

" Woh saree to bilkul chipak gayi thi bheeg ke... aur tu aise hi uske saamne khade hoke usse ghoor rahi thi".

Naina wanted to crawl somewhere so that she didn't have to face him. She couldn't. She should run away... and never come back.

Her mind had stopped functioning.

After a lot of tossing and turning, she finally slept.

*****

Sameer was no better. His own demons were threatening to eat him.

"Kya kar raha tha tu... Naina ke itne kareeb kyon gaya... agar usse zara bhi ehsaas ho jaata ki tu uske baare mein kya sochta hai to kya hota... " Sameer could not forgive himself for the blunder he had committed.
But the image of his girl in a wet saree and that blouse... Oh God! What was that blouse... he was shaking. He had never touched her earlier... but today... when she did not move from the line of vision of the rickshaw driver, he did not hesitate even once to hold her hand and pull her... it was like he could do that with her... it was his right to protect her... to touch her... to hold her... to love her.