Kabhi to nazar milao

Pain

As the light filtered into her room through the flimsy curtains, Naina opened her eyes. It was a beautiful day. She smiled, remembering her date with Sameer. Getting up from the bed, she caught her reflection in the mirror. She went and stood in front of it, looking at herself.

"Mujh mein aisa kya hai jo Sameer mujhse pyaar karta hai?" She observed herself from different angles.

"Sunder toh main hun nahi... taiji hamesha se yehi kehti hai ki mere jaisi shakal wali ladki ki toh shaadi hona bhi mushkil hai... toh phir shakal se to pyaar nahi hua hoga... aur shakal se hona hota to school mein hi ho jaata... wahan to kabhi mujhe aankh utha ke bhi nahi dekha... pakka kuch aur hai... par kya... umm... meri baatein... nahi, meri bewakoofi wali baaton pe kisi ko gussa aa sakta hai par pyaar nahi ho sakta... kya kya bol deti hun main Sameer ke samne... bhagwanji, kisi din woh gussa hi ho jaayega meri badbad se... phir aur kya... haan, usse mera padhai mein achcha hona pasand aaya hoga... haan, haan... yehi hoga... par top to main school mein bhi karti thi.. phir wahan kyon nahi kaha? Phir kya ho sakta hai... Puchu kya Sameer se?"

Since her childhood, Naina had been ridiculed so often by her taiji that it was now set in her mind deeply that she was below average in looks. And she had accepted it, without question. When she fell in love with Sameer, realising that his good looks were able to charm all girls in the school, she suppressed her feelings... sure that Sameer would never fall in love with a girl like her... still her love for him had only grown in two years... she could see the pain behind the mask of carefree attitude... she could see that his anger was not towards others but his own life... there was something that made him bitter... she wanted to soothe him.

And now, she was feeling on top of the world... Sameer's love had changed her life... she felt happy all the time... but will Sameer be a lifelong blessing for her? She shivered... earlier, while leaving Ahmedabad, though she had felt a sense of emptiness at leaving him behind, till that time he had not shown any attachment to her, so she could imagine a life without him,thinking that he would be happy elsewhere... however, now she had got used to his attention, his care, his concern... his love. The thought of living without him not only brought the feeling of emptiness but a feeling of end of life... a feeling of ultimate darkness.

Naina tried to shake herself out of such thoughts and got ready for the day.

Morning went by attending lectures. As the classes got over, Sameer walked out, waiting for Naina in the corridor, while she was held back by Sonia and Komal, who wanted her to explain a tough question to them. It took longer than Naina had expected... by the time she left the room, Sameer was not outside. Expecting him to be in the library, Naina went up. There were a few students but their corner table was vacant. She then went to the canteen. It was highly unlikely that Sameer went to the canteen without her but she still decided to check. He was not there.

"Shayad wapas hostel chala gaya hoga... koi baat nahi... baad mein peeche ground mein to aayega hi", she started walking back to her hostel. Suddenly, a thought struck her.

" Kahin bahar to nahi gaya? Ek baar uski bike check kar leti hun... yahan hai ki nahi. "

She walked to the parking area. When she was about to turn towards the bike stand, her gaze fell on Sameer. He was standing with his hands in pocket, defiance in his shoulders, eyes blazing. A guy stood in front of him, talking... it appeared that he was trying to reason with Sameer, trying to force him for something. Sameer stood watching him in anger. Finally, he shook his head angrily and gestured towards the main gate, probably telling the guy to leave. The person placed his hand on Sameer's shoulder, not willing to give up... but Sameer flipped his hand away. The guy shrugged and walked towards the gate. Sameer kept staring at him angrily.