Inferno

~12~ Slump

Ellie's POV

I go to our room and shut the door. I seriously think about slamming it, but one of our biggest rules with the kids is to never slam their door. Guess I better lead by example.

I'm in there for a while, laying on our bed, trying not to let the horrible thoughts I'm having take over me. How could I not have known about this all of these years? What kind of a mother am I? What kind of a man did I marry? Maybe I don't know him at all. I never thought he was capable of what happened last weekend, yet here we are.

After a while I hear a gentle knock on the door. I have absolutely no intentions of opening it. There's clean clothes in the laundry room and he can use a different shower. There's no reason he needs to be in here.

"Sweetheart, I know you're mad. But we've got damage control with the kids. I'm not telling them what happened without you" he says gently.

Crap. I definitely put my foot in my mouth with that one.

I sigh and get off the bed. I do need to be there for that. I check myself in the mirror real quick, wipe the mascara off from under my eyes, and go out. I don't even look at him as I walk past. He says nothing as he follows behind me.

We walk into the living room, and all four of the kids are there. I'm glad Liam stayed. He's as much a part of this family as the rest of them. I'm glad he didn't feel like he needed to leave.

I go in and sit by Liam and kiss his cheek. I'm not mad at him, and I need him to know that.

Taylor sits in between Sasha and Emma, while Luke is sitting on the floor, leaning against Emma's legs.

"Ok, guys. Let's talk" Taylor says as he puts his arm
lightly around Sasha.

"When you were pregnant with me, you weren't together anymore?" She asks, looking at me.

"No. We had broken up. I didn't even know I was pregnant with you for over a month" I say, looking at her.

"Why did you break up?" She asks, visibly upset.

I say nothing. I'm not going to tell the kids that. I feel horrible that Taylor is going to have to. This is something that we never planned on telling them.

Taylor speaks quietly. "I cheated on mom" he says simply. He's still ashamed about it. After all of these years, that night has haunted him.

"YOU WHAT?!?" Luke and Sasha yell together.

Taylor shakes his head. "It was with a girl mom and I both worked with. She had a crush on me. I got drunk one night at a bar, and I let my guard down. The day mom left was the last day I ever drank" he says, still upset.

Sasha shakes her head, angrily. "Unbelievable. So this is all my fault? You felt obligated to stay with a man who cheated on you because you were pregnant? Sorry I ruined your life" she says, with tears in her eyes.

"I had no intentions of staying with him. Liam and I moved out. We decided we would co-parent the way Alex and I did with Liam" I say, trying to explain without going into too much of our private life.

"When did you get back together?" She asks, still not happy.

"You were, ummm" I say, trying to remember.

"Four months" Taylor says, squeezing her shoulder.

"I love this lady with every fiber of my being. I never stopped. The day she left I wanted to die. Losing Liam was the worst pain I've ever felt. The thought of having to share you made me sick. Somehow she was able to forgive me. That's just who your mom is. She always forgives, even when we don't deserve it. There's not a day that goes by that I'm not thankful. I don't take any of this for granted. I know I was a breath away from never having this" he says, sweeping his hand in front of him.