The Gen-Z Avenger (One-Shots!)

0153| Germaphobe

Tonys things for germs has become too much.

Like I swear he won't touch anything unless one of his bimbos sanitizes it. I mean I could kill him, I wanted to kill him. I mean once I fake sneezed on him and he took at least 4 showers.

So I put together a gang of fun dudes to help put him shut the hell up with his germ things, maybe stick him in a 10 step program.

The panel included spider bitch boy, captain freeze a lot, and cool girl Nat. I also called in Ms Potts, Stark has a thing for her, and I thought maybe she could help me out with this.

"Y/N, do you seriously think you can fix this, he's been like this longer than you've known him.." Pepper explained, sitting down in the meeting too,

"Ms Potts-"

"Please just call me Pepper, Ms. Potts makes me feel old.." She interrupted.

"Well then, Pepper, I can break anyone if I want to. All I have to do is piss him off.." I laughed, Steve nervously laughing behind me.

When Tony arrived in, I think he knew this was some sort of intervention. He tutted and rolled his eyes, attempting to walk away. Too bad I teleported in front of him, blocking his path to freedom.

"Sit your ass down until I breathe on you.." I pointed, him doing what he was told.

He sat before his bitches, getting looks from us all. I guess he knew what it was about.

"Tony, your thing for germs has gotten out of hand.." Steve opened with.

"It's not that bad-" He tried to defend.

"Once when I was younger, I was crying, and to comfort me, Tony picked up a mop and patted me on the head with it.." I revealed.

"Tony, how many times have you really hugged your daughter, like properly?" Nat asked.

"I hug Y/N a lot.." Tony shrugged.

"Over the past 3, almost 4 years I've known you, you've hugged me 6 times. That's a generous estimate.." I said, the other four people turning to Tony in shock.

He looked a smidge embarrassed.

"Tony, hug your child, now!" Pepper demanded a demand that sparked a series of questions.

"Is that hoodie clean?" He asked.

"Yes.."

"When did you last shower?"

"An hour ago."

"Can I spray you with disinfectant?"

Now I did think he was joking, apparently, that wasn't the case.

"No, you idiot, just hug me!" I yelled, pushing him to speed the encounter up.

It took all his might to finally hug me, but when he did, it lasted 3 and a half seconds. Purely my fault too.

"I showered last 3 days ago and this hoodie is at least 1 week dirty.." I whispered.

He very violently pushed me off of him and ran out of the room. We all stayed there chatting for a bit, then six showers later, he decided to re-join us.

"Okay, I might have a slight problem.." she said as he entered the room.

"That's alright Mr Stark, we can just not hug you.." Peter whimpered.

"I thought we weren't letting the child speak.." I whispered to Nat.

"You're literally the same age.." She whispered back.

"I um, apologies for the harm I've caused and-"

"Blah blah, what I don't understand is why you can sleep with so many ladies, who know what germs they're carrying, then feel fine?"

It's like the smartest man I knew had just never thought of that. Well actually Bruce was the smartest man I knew, Shuri was the smartest person I knew.

I mean the two of them would consider that fact, this dumb bitch just didn't think of that.

"For a man who's meant to be super brainy, your the dumbest man, aside from Scott, that I know.." I announced.

"Hey! Scott slander is not tolerated!" Peter added.

"Tic-tac is probably in here right now, he would pop up if he cared.."

Scott actually was there, as I later discovered. He didn't care.

"I think he should let Gus lick him, that would be a hurdle.." I suggested.

"Tony can't be in the same room as your dog, he hates the thing," Steve answered.

"Exactly, it's not gonna kill him.."

Well, it might as well have killed him, he panicked like he was being chased by Freddie Krueger.

What did this experience prove? You can't fix stupid.