Avenge the Shadows (I)

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CHARLOTTE'S POV

Being a Shadowhunter was everything in my life. It was family, it was friendship, it was love and it was work. I was extremely happy in my Institute and yet a tiny part of me thought I was missing something or someone. So, me, in the immature part of being a teenager, I secretly dated a few guys within the institute, but as much sex I had, no one could fill that 'feeling'. Then, Sebastian was murdered and everything got a bit harder. Sebastian was my cousin and he had been possessed by Jonathan Morgenstern; he had come to the New York's institute on his year-off and somehow, he had gotten a very unlucky end. My parents betrayed our institute and Valentine tried to take over. Eventually, they all died and those deaths had been the worst I had ever witnessed and after that, Jace and his family put me under their wings and protection. It was around that time, when Thor got in the picture.

He was thousands of years old and yet he looked like he was barely on his thirties. His eyes and wisdom made me fall under his charm and just when I turned eighteen, he let me spend a real night with him. He was really good at sex and for once I was completely satisfied. It took me a while to realize that it was not just the sex that kept me coming back to him, but his will to listen to me, his will to advise me. That was what made me stay and go to him. Over and over again. It was not like we had started with sex; it was purely friendship back when I was sixteen and then we just evolved to whatever this was. I had hidden everything that had happened between us from everyone, especially Jace, not because I was ashamed of us, but according to the accords, he was a mundane and we should not mix ourselves with them in any way. Two, he was WAY older than me and Jace would have freaked out big time.

And three, there was another issue in Asgard that he did not like to talk about. It was related to Loki, his younger brother. That chapter was not over and I was just filling him until he found the nerves to deal with him. The long-distance relationship was ideal and no one besides the girls knew that he visited me from time to time. Jace and Alec find it odd that I would willingly go out in surveillance whenever there was thunder storm, but they never said anything against it. My life within the institute had been excellent, I had graduated at the top of the class in all my courses back in the academy and although they wanted to keep me in Alicante and put me in charge of the training program, Jace fought everything and everyone to bring me back to the New York institute. He sent me in countless missions, starting by surveillance, then going in teams and partners and finally going alone, just to prove the Clave that I was ready to be in his institute.

I was happy there, for sure, but whenever I looked around all I saw was people bonded by their parabatai runes. A clear example, were Alec and Jace. They have been through hell and back, literally and each one of those experiences brought them even closer. Even now that Alec lived in Alicante, because he was the new Inquisitor. I used to think that only men had parabatai, but then Clary and Izzy made the vow and I understood what I was missing. It was not sex, at all. It was just my other half. My parabatai. And I had to find him or her really soon. It felt like the missing limb syndrome and sometimes everything hurt. Some other times, everything was awful. And rarely, I felt great. It felt like having a panic attack when I have not done anything. In those times, I would just activate my runes and deal with the pain the best I could. Jace had announced that our institute was hosting the worldwide meeting.

I would be in charge of welcoming our guests from around the world, that made me realize there was more to it than he was telling me, but I played along. I was in no shape to argue the head of the institute. So, I did my best. The realization of me being in touch with every single person old enough to have a parabatai came to me the same day as the event started.

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