Avenge the Shadows (I)

:: 1.150 ::

CHARLOTTE'S POV

I seriously could not believe what I was hearing. Steven Grant Rogers, wanted another chance, with me. "And you're willing to promise that any of that won't happen again?" My question lit up his hope, but his eyes showed me that it would happen again, I knew it would and yet, I wanted to be able to be with him. "I can't promise that, but I can promise you that I'll put you first. Always. What do I have to do?" That was a step up. "We go out, plain and simple, nothing more." I said betraying myself. "Like an ongoing first date?" He asked with a little smile. "Yeah." I nodded. "I can do that. Just, stop running away from me." I stayed in silence for a few as I got lost on his eyes. "If there's something worth staying for, I'll happily stay." His smile was automatic and I was glad that I had done that. "Meet me here, in a week. I'll show you how worthy this could be." I nodded as I started giving a step away from him.

"Sunday, eleven, no kissing, no fun stuff." He chuckled and that awakened the butterflies on my stomach. "Can I have a goodbye hug?" I knew that if I let him closer, I would give in. "An awkward one, yes." He closed the distance. "I just need to feel you close." I could feel his warmth. "Thank you for giving me another chance." As he put his arms around me, I felt my heart on my throat. "Don't make me regret it, because I really don't want to." I whispered hugging him tighter. "I won't blow it." I sighed. "Goodbye, Charlotte. See you in a week." I walked away. "Goodbye, Steve." As he was gone, my mind caught up and I started freaking out. "Why on Earth did I say yes?" I whispered to myself as I paced around the park. When the anxiety led me to bleed, I just climbed on my usual tree and stayed there, trying to admire the city from above and slowly, my heartbeat went down. I just needed to take one minute at a time.

As Cath came by, I was too out of myself to be normal and talk to her, so I remembered the mundane things they do when they are stressed and I did all. I went into a shopping spree and I bought whatever I might need in my new place. When the shopping was done, we returned to my apartment and I started to paint immediately, mostly ignoring Cath, who shockingly let me be and did not press me to tell her what had happened. As she left me alone, I realized that mundanes were right. Painting was soothing. I painted every wall of the apartment and ceiling and when I ended, I felt better, like I could handle a date with Steve. It was not like I would marry the guy. We both just needed to get ourselves out of our systems and move on. I knew he was not the one for me as he knew I was not the one for him. I needed someone who trusted me and he needed someone who followed him no matter what.

After a lot of hours, I could think clearly, but it was also time for me to be at the institute. I grabbed my phone and texted Cath, telling her I would take a day off for Mental Day. When that reached Jace's ears, he came by and helped me with everything I needed, he changed all the locks of the apartment too and I was thankful, he assembled the furniture that had arrived and did everything I needed him to as I prepared food and drinks. He left after dinner and I sighed. I was okay now. My apartment was officially done. I used a rune to tidy up everything and then I went to bed. My Mental Day had finished and as much as I wanted to stay enjoying my new home, I knew that if I did not get to the institute, Jace would be here and I really wanted to avoid talking about my life more in depth with him. Jace still saw me as the weak teenager who had just lost her parents to a battle against our whole world.

As I arrived to the institute, Jace gave me the missions I would have for the week and sent me to talk with Cath, as I apparently was not dealing with my emotions correctly. I rolled my eyes as he was not the one to tell me about dealing with my emotions as he never did. "That's why you need to work on them." I sighed. I knew he was right, but I did not want to deal with them.

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