Avenge the Shadows (I)

:: 1.13 ::

CATHERINE'S POV

After lunch, New York's directors called every eighteen-year-old to have their last meeting before revealing their decision on their year off to every peer attending the meeting on the last dinner. So, Charlie went there as the rest of us joined our own institutes to talk about the things we have learnt and what we thought we could integrate into our soldier's lives and I could not believe I would be back to my boring life. Of course, my whole institute wanted to change clothes and yes, I was on board with that too, but I really wanted more. More technology, more ways to torture, more stars, more of everything. But when I said that out loud, they all looked at me like I was crazy, then I realized that it was not because of my opinion, it was in fact because I talked in front of everyone without stuttering or panicking about it. After dinner, all the eighteen-year-old Shadowhunters had to share their decisions on their year-off in front of everyone.

Charlotte was the last one and as she was about to say her pick, the alarms went off and we all were in soldiers' mode. We all made it to the control room and the teams were the same as the tables. Jace led the mission and we all followed his instructions. I was excited and terrified at the same time. It was my first mission ever and my partners were the best of the New York institute. We made it to the place and there was a demon crawling out of the sewer. Jace started the attack by his north as Clary and Izzy went for the demon's east, leaving Charlotte and I on the west. We all attacked and it only took a little effort to send that ugly thing back to hell. "Good job!" Jace congratulated me as Charlotte and Izzy hugged me. "Can you believe this was her very first mission ever?" Izzy told Jace and Clary, who were surprised by the information as apparently, I managed the stress very well. I was happy for that.

I felt like I fitted here in New York, more than I fitted back home. We all made it back to the institute and after dinner, each group got together to talk about their experiences of the meeting. "You got the best group. Not fair." Some girl of my group said to me and I got mad. "Each group is the best." I said and everyone looked at me. They were all used to me being quiet and accepting their bad vibes, but I was done of that. "My group happened to be with the heads of the New York institute, but that doesn't give you the right to talk about fairness. This is so much important than share a meal with other people. It's about learning, if you can't do that, then I'm very sorry for you." After that I stood up and walked to the Greenhouse. I looked out and got lost on the night view of New York. We had a day and a half before returning home and I was bummed for that. I did not know if I could be that bad-ass back home, but I wanted to.

Maybe that way I would be allowed to actually be part of the missions. I had had a taste of it and I was not willing to let it go. "I knew I would find you here." Charlotte said after a while and scared me. "Sorry, you were really into it." She apologized and sat down next to me. I returned my eyes to the sight, already missing it. "I'm going to miss this." She added a while later and I smiled at that. "You can always portal yourself back here." She smiled at that. "I can't do that!" We both laughed at her outburst and just stayed there, quietly admiring the view. Talking with Charlotte was soothing, no matter what my mind was going through, she just always had the best response and a part of me wished I was a bit more like her. When the sun was rising, we went to bed and when I woke up, I asked the angel for this day to never end. These last few days I had found a whole other Catherine and I wanted to keep developing this new personality.

But deep down I needed this institute to become that, Catherine. Unfortunately, I could not be that person on my own and I got angry at myself for that. Charlotte had a perfect life with a perfect institute and I craved that. I really wanted to keep being this new Cath. She was fearless, she was a badass and she had friends. London Cath was invisible and I would miss this.

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