Imagines and Preferences: Book 1

It's Not Your Fault | Spencer Reid

Trigger warning; heavy stuff, kind of like the second episode of season twelve.

Summary: After a harrowing case - a child murderer - you blame yourself for the death of a young victim. Spencer comforts you.

QOTP: Who is your favorite character from Criminal Minds?

Word Count: 1514

You just finished a particularly harrowing case - kids and an unsub with a horrible past. And... you failed to save a victim.

I mean, you failed to save the previous victims, but... you were so close. You nearly saved that girl - nine years old...

You and Tara got to the house first, and you insisted on going inside.

"We can't just sit here," you tell Tara.

She sighs, "Look, I know, but it's too risky to go in without back up. Besides, going in might make it worse."

You sit in silence for two more seconds before making up your mind; there's a child in there, and back up or not, you're going in.

You open the door and start sprinting towards the house. Tara starts whisper-yelling at you, "Y/N! Y/N, stop!"

She runs after you as you sprint into the house. "FBI!" you shout. You hear noises in the back bedroom and run inside, gun raised. "FBI! DROP THE WEAPON!"

The man is standing with a knife over the girl, who's already bleeding. Tara runs up behind you. "Drop the weapon!"

The man leans down as if to set the knife on the floor, but... doesn't.

Tara pulls the trigger and you drop to the floor, holding the girl in your arms. You hear sirens. "MEDIC!"

Tara checks the killer's pulse, but you don't gather much else. The girl is crying. "It's gonna be okay, I promise," you tell her. She weakly nods.

"MEDIC!" you scream. People run in and take the girl from you.

////

Spencer runs in the room and finds you sitting on floor, blood on your arms. He crouches down next to you.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

"I... I'm..."

He gently helps you stand up and takes you to a medic, who concludes that you have no injuries and cleans you up.

The ambulance that took the girl to the hospital is long gone. Spencer helps you take off your vest, then wraps a shock blanket around you.

On the plane, you sit by yourself completely silent. You periodically glance over at Spencer, who's reading on the couch. Once, when you look over, he's already looking at you worriedly. He quickly looks away.

A half hour later, Luke and Tara walk over to you and sit across from you. You just look at them.

"I know I'm the new guy," Luke says, "but... I just want you to know it's not your fault."

"You're right," you reply after a pause, "you are the new guy."

"Y/N," Tara says, "it wasn't your fault."