Imagines and Preferences: Book 1

Friends With Guns | Dirk Gently

Prompt #39
Requested by @chipotles_ma_life

First Dirk imagine in a while

Summary: Dirk misses a date again, and you're - understandably - upset. However, you don't know why he didn't show...

QOTP: What?!

Word Count: 1015

He promised he wouldn't - not again.

Yet, here you are, sitting alone in a fancy restaurant at a table for two, and you have been for some time.

He's done this before, so you're not shocked; you're just disappointed.

He's been missing dates quite frequently in the past month or so, and you barely see him anymore due to the Detective Agency and the cases he's constantly working on. You told him about this, and he promised you it wouldn't happen again, then made reservations for a very fancy restaurant and promised he'd be there on time.

Well, we know how that went.

After about half an hour, you decide to go ahead and order a meal, eat, and pay the check, knowing full and well that you're going to make him pay you back later. After that, you go back home, change into pajamas, turn on the TV, and try not to cry.

You fail on that last one.

////

Dirk has had quite the night.

He was heading to the restaurant for his date with you when an unknown number called him. He answered, and the man on the other end told him that he had kidnapped you and Dirk had to go to a certain, secluded location to get you back. Dirk, of course, raced straight there, and surprisingly thought to call Todd and Farrah on his way.

He thought of absolutely nothing else but you.

When he arrived at the location, you weren't there. The person that had called him, however, was, and it was his and his friends' with guns intent to somehow harness Dirk's "Universe powers" and then kill him.

Todd and Farah later arrived to find Dirk in a suit, tied up, and irritatedly explaining that his "powers" don't work like that and he has a date he really needs to get to.

The man's friends with guns then spotted Todd and Farah, and the man decided to use them as leverage (i.e. "Give me your powers or I'm going to shoot your friends.")

Luckily, Todd had called Amanda before he and Farah arrived. So, about ten minutes of stalling later, the Rowdy 3 van pulled up and they all jumped out and started busting heads and sucking up energy.

Dirk, as soon as he was untied and the man and his friends were unconscious, ran to his car, shouting, "Thanks for the rescue, but I've missed my date with Y/N!"

He drove to the restaurant and found that you had left. Now, here he is, sadly getting back into his car. As he drives to your house, he calls you.

////

In the middle of an episode of Y/F/TV/S, your phone buzzes. You pick it up and see that it's a call from Dirk.

You contemplate answering for quite some time; he broke his promise, but he might've had a good reason...

So, you settle on a compromise, and answer the phone. "Hi, you've reached the offices of I Don't Wanna Talk to You. Please don't leave a message at the tone. Beep."

You hear Dirk sigh. "Y/N, I'm so sorry I missed our date - again - but I had a really good reason this time. See, I was on my way to the restaurant, but then this man called me and told me that he had kidnapped you - so, obviously, I had to go and save you. But when I got to where he told me to go, you weren't there. Then, he and his friends with guns tied me up and demanded that-"

"They what?!" you practically shout, concern immediately taking over all the anger and disappointment you were previously feeling.

"Oh, I thought this was a voicemail," Dirk replies. "Anyway, yes, they tied me up and demanded that I give them my 'powers'. Then, Todd and Farah showed up because I called them on the way there, but they got tied up, too-"

"What?!"

"Todd and Farah got tied up, too. Then, the Rowdy 3 and Amanda showed up and saved us all. So, I immediately drove to the restaurant, but by the time I got there, you were gone. And now I'm on my way to your house, if that's alright with you."

"Ye-Yeah," you stutter out. "Sure."

"Good because I'm literally pulling into your driveway right now."

You put your phone down and run to your front door, opening it and watching as Dirk parks his car and gets out. When you see the state he's in - his suit torn in a few places, his hair a mess, and a bruise forming on his cheek - you freak out.

"Dirk!" you shout, running to him. "Are you okay?!"

"Well, I'm fine now, I guess, but I feel awful because I missed our date-"

"You were tied up! And your cheek -" you touch said cheek as you say this, turning his head to examine it better "- where did that bruise come from?!"

"Oh, the man slapped me a few times-"

"He what?!"

"Are you hard of hearing?" he asks genuinely.

You almost roll your eyes. "No. Now, come inside; you need to change, and who knows what other injuries you might have with your suit looking like it does."

"I thought you were mad at me," he says, following you inside.

"Not anymore, dummy! You had a genuine reason for missing our date!" You sigh, hunting for something for him to wear. "Honestly, I think it's the universe's fault; it just doesn't want us to go on dates anymore."

"No, I don't think so. I mean, we could have a date right now. It'd be less fancy than the restaurant, but-"

You hand him some clothes. "Get changed and I'll order a pizza and put on a movie."

He smiles, and kisses your forehead as you head out. "This'll be a better date than the restaurant, anyway."