Imagines and Preferences: Book 1

Preference: Panic Attack | Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

TRIGGER WARNING???

Requested by @FeirceAngel

Just wanted to let y'all know I'm obsessed with The Paper Magician by Charlie N. Holmberg. That is all.

Summary: You have a panic attack and he comforts you.

QOTP: If you wrote season three, what would happen in it?

Word Count: 769

Dirk -
"Make any progress on the Lydia Spring case?" you ask. He'd been gone for two days, presumably with his new assistant, Todd. You decided to watch Netflix instead of leaving the apartment.

"Remember the cat I took from the crime scene?" he says, sitting down next to you. You pause your show as you realize the cat's not with him; he took it out today.

"Luna," you confirm, using the name you'd given her. Of course, by this point, you're attached to the cat, seeing as it's been with you for some time.

Dirk nods, unsure as to how to tell you what happened. "Well," he starts, "Todd and I got attacked by some guys and Luna... well, Luna kind of killed them."

You stare at him blankly. "What?"

"An electric blue shark came out of Luna and ate the two guys that were attacking us - which is what I'm assuming happened to Patrick Spring - and then it went back into Luna and she ran off. So... I lost her."

Your mouth opens and closes for a solid minute. "So Luna's a shark?"

"Yes."

You're speechless at how calm he is, and find yourself standing and beginning to pace. "Luna's been a shark the entire time. And I was alone with her?"

Dirk nods. "Yes, you were."

"She could've killed me at any moment!"

"In theory, yes."

"In theory?" you explode. "IN THEORY?!" At this point, you're hyperventilating. "HOW DOES THIS EVEN HAPPEN?! HOW IS LUNA A SHARK?! HOW-"

Dirk stands and gently places his hands on your shoulder. "The neighbors are going to think you're on drugs; stop shouting."

"I COULD'VE DIED AT ANY MOMENT BECAUSE OF A KITTEN-SHARK, I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO SHOUT!"

"Okay, yes, you could've," Dirk says calmly, "but you didn't, and that's what's important. Just calm down, okay? Deep breaths. Todd and I are going to figure this out."

You look at him desperately. "But a kitten-shark?!"

He nods and pulls you to him in a hug. "Yes, a kitten-shark." He can hear you mumbling to yourself in his ear, most likely about the fact that Luna even exists at all. Slowly, he sits down on the couch, taking you with him.

You pull away, looking like you're going to cry. "A kitten-shark?"

"Yes, love, a kitten-shark."

You sigh and lay back on the couch, reaching for the remote. "Can I just pretend she never existed at all?"

"That would be best." Now that he finally has you calm, he'd rather not mention that, during the attack, he threw Luna at a man aiming a crossbow at him.

You really did love that cat.

Todd -
"If that was a gunshot, I swear-" you start, getting cut off by Todd's hand over your mouth.

"It was a gunshot," Dirk says, "so let's get out of here."

That morning, you were perfectly excited to join Todd and Dirk on their most recent case. Solving a mystery seemed like a fun, interesting thing to do.

And now you're in an abandoned hotel and guys with guns are trying to kill you.

Todd grabs your hand and runs after Dirk, causing you to run alongside him. You have no idea where you're going, but you can hear footsteps behind, above, and below you.

And you're freaking out.

At the end of the hall, the elevator doors open to reveal - you guessed it - more guys with guns, so Dirk throws a door open and runs in, Todd and you on his heals. As soon as the door is shut and locked, you move everything you can in front of it as a barricade.

While Dirk tries to open the window, you try to stop hyperventilating. Todd immediately realizes that you're having a panic attack and grabs your hand. "We're gonna be fine, okay? I promise. Dirk will figure something out."

Your eyes widen. "There are guys with guns and-"

"I know. But we've gotten out of worse. Take a deep breath and try to focus, okay? It's gonna be fine."

At the moment, Dirk gets the window open and climbs out. "Come on! We're on the third floor, it's not much of a drop!"

You walk over to the window and see Dirk hanging from the sill, Todd behind you. "We're all gonna die."