Choni One Shots pt: 2

240: The One Where Toni is Trans: Backstory

TONI POV:

I walk into the kitchen. I look at Cheryl who's making dinner. "Cheryl! I need to tell you something." She looks up. "What's wrong baby?" She ask concerned. "I ah! I think, I'm... not a... female." I say awkwardly. She looks at me. "What do you mean? Sit down." She ask. I sit down in front of her at the counter. "Can you put down the knife?" She nods and does so. "What do you mean?" She ask quietly. "I don't like my hair, my chest! Everything about me!" She looks at me. "I just don't want to be a girl anymore! I'm sick and tired of it." She nods. "Ok!" I look up. "Do what you need to do! I'm here for you." She says quietly. "Do you want to do anything right now? Like pronouns and stuff?" She ask quietly. "Um... I like male pronouns. Um... I like my name and the spelling so I want that to be the same the only thing is I might cut my full name. I hate that." She nods. "Ok! Do you want a haircut? Binder? What?" She ask immediately. "I don't- I don't know yet." I say quietly. "Why do you want to use the way you spell your name already?" She ask. "To be dramatic!" I say quietly. She nods. "Well, I can be the queen and your can be my king when it comes to dramatics." She says smiling. I smile. "I don't want to push you away or anything, but I need to finish making dinner and I can't really hold a conversation at the moment so can we talk about this more over dinner?" I nod. "Can I help though?" I ask. "Yeah! The shrimp needs to be de-tailed and put in a bowl." She says quietly. I nod. "Ok. Where are they?" I ask quietly. "In the sink in the pot defrosting they should be done defrosting by now." She explains. I go to start taking off the tails on the shrimp but Cheryl stops me. "Wash your hands Toni!"

I put the water on the table. "You sure you don't want Wine or anything?" Cheryl ask walking into the dinning room. "I would like to be sober tonight." She nods. "Usually I can get more information about something like this with alcohol but if you don't want to talk about everything right now we won't." She says quietly. "It's a little concerning that you think the only way to get shit out of me is alcohol!" I say walking over to her. "I didn't mean it like that it was a joke." I nod. I smile. "I know." I smile pulling her into a kiss. "We should sit down and talk." I say quietly. She nods. We both sit down in front of each other. "Ask me anything." I say quietly. "Am I the only person you've told?" She ask quietly. "No, I kinda hinted at it with Veronica when I was really drunk the other day and she quickly figured it out." I say grabbing some shrimp. "How long have you known? Like actually don't give me that you've known from birth crap! When did it actually hit you that you were trans?" She ask looking up. "A while! I think when we started having sex it really hit me on how I actually felt about my body, up until then I just thought it was because maybe I was butch or something but it's not." I explain. "Why now?" She ask. "What do you mean?" I ask. "Like why did you feel this need to come out now instead of before or later?" She ask quietly. "Besides the fact it had finally hit you." She adds. "It was keeping me up at night, I'm uncomfortable all the time and I swear to god Veronica has been bursting at the seams about this and I figured I tell you my girlfriend so she can finally talk to someone about it that wasn't me because it's driving me crazy!" She smiles a little. "Only Veronica." I nod. "I already ordered a binder and everything I want and need for right now, I was gonna wait until the end of the year to really do anything about it because I don't want to transition in the middle of the school year." I say before she ask. "You sure that's a good idea?" I shake my head. "No, but it's more for my safety than anything else." I say quietly. "I don't feel like getting thrown into lockers." I add. "Who else are you gonna tell? Like in the near future?" She ask quietly. "Maybe Betty she's pretty chill about stuff. Um... Fangs and Sweet Pea even though that might be a little dangerous because that means I'm definitely part of the boys now." I say smiling a bit. "Maybe Kevin he's gonna find out anyways through Fangs. I don't know who else maybe who ever ask." I say quietly. "And if I actually trust them." She nods. "Of course." I look at her. "Can we have rice tomorrow?" I ask quietly. "I kinda want rice." I say quietly. "Nothing fancy just regular white rice." She nods. "Yeah. It'll just be a little weird because we're having burgers at Pops. Because it's our date night." I sigh. "I forgot about that." I smile. "There's no school tomorrow so we can have it with lunch and I'll make sure there's some on set aside for you." I smile. "Or you could just make it whenever you want. I can't stop you." She says smiling. "I can't cook we both know this." She nods. "You can boil rice!"

I walk into the bedroom. "You know this explains a lot." Cheryl says quietly. I look up. "Like what?" I ask sitting on the bed. "Well, you know. You hate the concept of sex, I see the way you look at yourself in the mirror and slowly die inside! Toni, it's ok. I'm here for you." She says pulling me closer. "It would have been nice if you picked literally any other time to come out to me though!" She says quietly. "I had to get it out before I got scared." She nods. "Ok." I look at her. She kisses me. "I'm gonna go to sleep." I whisper. "Good because I'm tired." She says quietly.