Choni One Shots pt: 2

316: The One With The Bike

TONI POV:

"Want some?" I look up at Fangs. "What is it?" I ask quietly. "Mushrooms." I look at the baggy he's holding. "Yeah." I whisper taking one. "How long do these start to work?" I ask quietly. "30 minutes." I nod.

30 minutes later

I look at Fangs. "Why did you do it?" I look at him confused. "Do what?" I ask confused. "Toni, I didn't say anything." I take a deep breath. "Why did you let me die?" I stand up seeing my sister. "Luna?" I ask confused. "N-no?" Fangs looks at me for a second. "I think you should lie down." I nod.

"Why did you kill me?" I look over and see Luna my sister. "I didn't." I whisper. "Yes you did!" I look and the bullet wound. I see the gun in my hand. "I didn't." I whisper. "Yes you did. You don't remember?" She ask quietly.

"No!" I yell. I feel a pair of hands reach over. I don't know what comes over me but I punch Fangs in the face. "Toni!" I look at him. "I'm sorry." I tell him. "It's ok." He whispers.

CHERYL POV:

I look at Toni who's sitting quietly in the student lounge with me. "You ok?" I ask quietly. "You're quiet." She looks at me. "I didn't get much sleep last night." She says quietly. "Why what's wrong?" I ask concerned. "They're back." She whispers. "I'm afraid to go to sleep." She tells me. "Do you want me to come over so I can be there if it gets to bad?" I ask quietly. She shakes her head. "I've got it under control." She says quietly. "Toni, you're not sleeping. How is that having it under control?" I ask quietly. "I got it. I'm fine." She whispers. "When was the last time you got an actual nights rest?" I ask quietly. "Like slept through the night without any problems?" I clarify. "Last Monday." She says quietly. "That was a week ago Toni."  She gets up. "I'm fine." She says before walking out.

I walk into the hospital. "Fangs!" He sees me and stands up. "What happened?" I ask confused. "I don't really know, I just got here like 10 minutes ago. Apparently she crashed her bike." I sigh. "Toni..." I whisper frustrated. "She'll be ok. She broke her arm and was knocked unconscious but she's not gonna die or anything permanent." I nod. "Can we see her?" I ask quietly. "They won't let me but you can try." I nod. "Is her mom with her?" He nods.

I take Toni's hand. "She's finally getting some rest, so I guess there's that good." I whisper. "She hasn't been sleeping has she?" Her mom ask quietly. I shake my head. "What are the nightmares even about?" She ask quietly. "I don't know. I just know she gets them." I whisper. "It could be a few things." She says quietly. "Why haven't you done anything about it?" I ask slightly pissed. "She refuses help and I can't force her to get any." I feel her squeeze my hand. I look over at Toni. "No." She mumbles. "No!" She wakes up. "What happened?" She ask quietly. "You crashed your bike." I tell her. "Fuck." She whispers. "I'm sorry." She says quietly.

"I think I was tired." Toni says breaking her silence. She's been home for a few days, she hasn't been back in school yet. I look at her. "I told you." She looks down. "What are they about?" I ask quietly. "My sister." I feel my breath leave my body. "Toni..." I whisper. "She died when I was 7, right in front of me." She tells me. "How?" I ask quietly. "She was a serpent and someone shot her." She say quietly. I can see she's holding back tears. "I think you need to see someone about this." She shakes her head. "No. I'm fine." I look at her. "Really?" She nods. "I'm ok." She whispers. "You haven't slept in almost 2 weeks." She looks down and starts crying. "I can't." She says quietly. "Yes you can." She shakes her head. "No, it's to hard." I wipe her tears. "It wouldn't hurt to try." I whisper. She shakes her head. "I can't." She whispers. "Why not?" I ask quietly. She looks down. "I don't know. That's the most I've talked about it."

TONI POV:

I walk out of my bedroom. "Toni!" I hear someone yell. "Toni!" I run out of the house and see my sister on the ground. "Toni!" I run over to her as soon as I reach her she disappears. I kneel down and cry. I look up and I'm in front of her grave. "I'm sorry." I whisper. "You could have saved me! But you didn't because you were a stupid child!" I turn around and see her covered in dirt and decomposed. "I'm sorry." I cry. She walks over to me. "You're sorry? You could have saved me!" She screams. "You never loved me!"

I wake up covered in sweat. I sit up as I try to catch my breath and regulate my heart rate. I hold my hand up to my chest. "Toni!" I look over and Cheryl looking at me concerned. I look at her and throw up. She looks away before she throws up. "I'm gonna go take a shower. Please for the love of god clean this up so we can go back to bed as soon as possible." I nod. I grab the blanket and sheet and go downstairs to put them in the wash. A few minutes later I walk upstairs. "Everything's in the wash I'll change it tomorrow morning." I whisper. "Did you change the sheets yet?" Cheryl ask quietly. I shake my head. "No." I tell her. "Come on." She whispers. We go into my room and get new bedding. After about 10 minutes we're done. "I'm sorry." I whisper. "You need to see someone." She says ignoring what I just said. "I'm fine." I say quietly. "Did you just see what you did?" She ask raising her voice. "I'm not talking to anyone!" I say pissed. "Why not?" She ask quietly. "So you can stay awake so long you're sleep deprived and drive yourself into a tree again?" She ask pissed. "Toni! You're gonna kill yourself if you don't get help and I don't feel like burying my girlfriend! And I don't think your mom wants to bury another one of her kids!" She explains, yelling the whole thing. I look down. "I don't want to see someone." I whisper. "Why?" She ask quietly. "I need an actual answer not whatever bull shit you've been trying to feed me." I sit down on the bed. "If I talk to someone than she's really gone." I whisper. "It's been 10 years Toni." I shake my head. "It doesn't feel like it." She nods. "Please Toni. Your nightmares will stop." She whispers. "No they won't! You'll keep dealing with the guilt of my death!" She's back.

I look at my sisters grave. "That's a pretty name." Cheryl says quietly. "Luna Topaz." She says quietly. "Yeah she was named after the Luna Lovegood." I whisper. "Like from Harry Potter?" I nod. "And your parents named you Antoinette?" I nod again. "Can you guess what my middle name is?" I ask quietly. She gasp. "No!" I nod. "Marie." I nod again. "My mom thought it would be funny if on attendances at school since it would come up middle then first to make Marie my middle name so my name comes up as Marie, Antoinette." I explain. "Damn." I nod. "I like your mom." She whispers. "It's not the time." I whisper. "It's your fault." I look at Cheryl. "What?" I ask pissed. "I didn't say anything." She says quietly. I look around, we're the only people here.

6 months later

"Are you having nightmares?" My therapist ask snapping me out of my head. I look up at her. "Still?" She nods. I nod. "But I'm not throwing up on my girlfriend afterwards anymore." She looks at me. "You threw up on your girlfriend?" I nod. "It happened more times than I would like to admit." I whisper. She nods. "Are they as bad?" She ask quietly. I nod. "It's the same dream. I hear her, run out of the house and she tells me what I did." I whisper. I shake my head. "I'm never gonna get over it am I?" I ask quietly. "No. But I can help you cope." She tells me. "How long have you had these nightmares for?" She ask quietly. "On and off for about 10 years." I tell her. "10 years?" I nod. "My sister died 10 years ago next week. They are getting worse. I'm doing that thing where I don't sleep because I'm afraid of what's gonna happen!" I tell her. I hold back tears and shake my head. "I don't want to feel like this anymore! It's exhausting!" I say begging for this all to be over. "I can't keep living like this! It's an endless cycle and it's making me feel like something is fucked up in my head!" I explain. "Like more than it should be!" I add. "I can't keep going like this." I whisper.

"How was it?" Cheryl ask quietly. I don't say anything, I just lie in bed. She sits on the bed. "I brought you something special." She says quietly. I shrug. "That's great." I whisper. She gets up and puts a teddy bear in front of me. I pick it up. "What's wrong?" I shake my head. "I don't want to talk right now." I whisper. "I'm here when you are." She tells me. I nod. "You did this! If it wasn't for you! I would still be alive!" I shake my head. "What?" Cheryl ask quietly. "Nothing."

CHERYL POV:

I rub Toni's back as she sobs uncontrollably in my lap. "I can't do this anymore!" She says between sobs. She cries until she can't anymore. "I don't know how much longer I can do this." She whispers. "You'll make it through." I whisper. "She's to loud." I look at her. "What do you mean?" I ask quietly. "I only hear my sister railing into me about what I did." She tells me. "I can't make it quiet." I

1 week later

I look at Fangs. "It's makes sense." He says quietly. "She was depressed, she felt like her sister dying was her fault. She was in this chokehold of guilt." I tell her. "I think it's my fault." I look at him. "We decided to take shrooms and she had a bad trip and it caused everything to come back." He explains. "Like more than before." I whisper. He nods.