Choni One Shots pt: 2

246: The One With The Spacing Out

CHERYL POV:

I look over at Toni. It's like she snaps back to earth and jumps a little. "What happened?" She ask looking at me. "You zoned out." I say quietly. "Just finished the assignment and turn it in." She nods. I sigh and go back to my work. A woman walks into the class. I'm assuming to talk to the teacher or something so I don't really pay attention. Well, until I hear Toni's name. "Toni, Mr. Anderson is here to talk to you. Take your stuff." Toni slowly gets up and walks out.

TONI POV:

"I would prefer talking to a woman." I say quietly. "Or at least have one present." I add. Mr. Anderson nods. "I can get someone else to be in the room if you want." I nod. "There's just no one else certified here right now." He says getting up. "Can I ask what this is about first?" I ask quietly. "Teachers have been saying that you haven't been paying attention a lot in classes and they think it's ADHD." I nod. "I can't diagnose anything but I can refer you to someone." He tells me. "You're the special ed teacher?" He nods. "Great!" I whisper. "Not again."

"I space out a lot. I feel like I'm just not real, like I'm not in my body and it's scary." I explain. "Have you told anyone before?" I shake my head. "No." I say quietly. "I don't think I can help you." Mr. Anderson says quietly. "What?" I ask confused. "This isn't ADHD. You should go talk to the school psychologist. I'll call her and tell her that I'm sending you down. Ok?" I nod. "Yeah." I whisper getting up. I walk out and slowly go to the psychologist's office. "Stupid!" I whisper to myself. "Toni Topaz?" She ask standing up. I nod. She walks over to me. "Mrs. Burble." She says as we shake hands. "Sit." She says quietly. I slowly go and sit down on the couch. "So I got a quick run down of everything." She says quietly. "I'm fine." I say quietly. "You're disassociating yourself." She says. "What have you done?" I look up. No, he's back. "I was told you thought it was scary." She adds. "Why would you say that you're such a idiot who doesn't deserve to be here!" I take a deep breath. "Say you were just trying to get out of there." I look down and play with my shirt. "I was just saying stuff to get out of there." I lie. "Toni..." I look away. "I don't want to talk about it, I've talked about it enough today." She nods. "Ok! How about we talk about something else?" I nod. "She's just trying to get into your head!" I look up. "What?" I ask panicking a little. "How are you?" She ask again. "I'm ok. I'm a little tired." She nods. "Have you been sleeping?" She ask quietly. "Why does it matter to her! She's just trying to get you to spill so they can throw you in a loony bin and laugh at you!" I take a deep breath. "Um... ah... I... I- yeah. Just n-not that well." I say nervously. "Kill her!" I squeeze my eyes shut. "You ok?" I nod. "Yeah! Just trying to stay focused." I lie. She nods. "What do you mean by you haven't been sleeping well?" She ask concerned. "What do you think bitch? God this woman!" I shrug. "Are you having nightmares? Just waking up for no reason? Just regular bathroom breaks?" She ask quietly. "Sometimes I hear a loud noise but there isn't anything or nothing I need to worry about." I explain. "Also whenever Cheryl stays over or I go over to her place she talks in her sleep and she kicked me in the shin the other night that woke us both up." I tell her. "She's not the most peaceful sleeper." I add. "Not because she has nightmares or anything! She just has a lot of weird dream!" I say sitting up. She nods. "I know! I see Cheryl once a week and that's usually the first thing we talk about." She says quietly. I nod. "Right! I forgot." I say quietly. She nods. "Very interesting girl!" I nod.

I roll onto my stomach and clutch my pillow. "She knows." I cover my ears. "Stop it." I whisper. "Cheryl knows and you're gonna go away which means I'm gonna go away! That's not good." I roll over to my back. "No!" I groan. "You should kill yourself! If you can't have me you can't have your life!" I sit up and grip my knees. "Get out!" I yell hitting my head.

CHERYL POV:

I walk over to the bedroom, realizing Toni's been in there a while. "Toni? You ok in there? You've been in there for a while and I've just heard you yelling." I ask knocking on the door. "I'm fine!" She says clearly pissed. I take a deep breath. "Toni! Talk to me! You don't have to tell me everything but just the basics!" I tell her. "No!" She yells. I sigh. "I'm coming in!" She sits against the door. "No!" She says. "Ok! If you're not letting me in, I'll just get Sweet Pea! He's probably big enough to break down this door." I tell her. "Have fun!" She says pissed. I nod and go to Sweet Pea's trailer. "Hey Cheryl?" He says stand up off the steps. "What's up?" He ask concerned. "Where's Tiny?" He ask. "She locked herself in the bedroom and won't come out, I need you to break her door down!" He nods. "I've always wanted to do this!" He smiles. "These are your priorities in life? Seriously?" He nods. We go back over. "Toni? Get away from the door! I don't feel like crushing you." He says quietly. After a few tries he gets the door open. I look over and see Toni on the floor in her knees with her hands over her ears. I sit down in front of Toni. I just hear her muttering to herself. "Toni..." I whisper. "What's wrong?" I ask quietly. "Make it stop." She whispers. I look at her. "Make what stop?" I ask concerned. "My head." She says quietly. "What's wrong with your head?" I ask rubbing the top of her head. "He won't stop." She says quietly. I look at Sweet Pea. "I don't know Cheryl. I've never seen her like this." He says quietly. I looks at Toni. She lies into me. "He won't stop!" She whispers. "I'll call 911." Sweet Pea says quietly

"She has dissociative identity disorder, and schizophrenia." Toni's therapist tells me. "I knew about the schizophrenia." Sweet Pea says quietly. I look at Sweet Pea. "I never saw her like that. I didn't think of it since she's been pretty well medicated." I sigh. "I believe she went off her meds, whether it was on purpose or not, I don't know yet." The therapist says quietly. "Will she be ok?" She nods. "She's gonna be ok! We just need to keep her here for about 10 days." I sit back. "How much?" Sweet Pea ask concerned. "About 4,000 not including Insurance and medication." She says quietly. "Does she have a way to pay?" She ask quietly. "No." Sweet Pea says quietly. "I can." I say quietly. "Does she have family to go home to?" I shake my head. "It's just us." She nods. "Is there anything else?" I ask quietly. "The usuals, anxiety, depression. I also thing she might have a learning disability but that's not something I diagnose!" She tells us. "Yeah, she has an executive functioning problem. She's getting help for it, it's not much to be worried about with her." I explain. "They thought Toni had ADHD at first but she doesn't

TONI POV:

I wake up and feel the room spinning a bit. I roll onto my side. I feel my head and realize it's bruised. "Fuck." I whisper. There's a knock on the door and a nurse comes in. That's when it hits me that I'm in a hospital. She puts 2 cups in front of me. "What happened?" I ask quietly. "You had a mental breakdown, now take your medication and come out for breakfast. Ok sweetheart?" I nod. I slowly sit up and take my meds. "When will the room stop spinning?" I ask quietly. "Give it a minute. The meds we use to calm patients when they get here can do that when they wake up." She explains. "When can I go home?" I ask. She looks at my paperwork. "About 10 days." I nod. "I can't afford this." I say quietly. "I believe it's already been covered." I sigh. "Ok." I whisper. "Come on. Get dressed and ready for breakfast." I nod. "Where are the strings?" I ask motioning to my hoodie. "You could hurt yourself with them." I nod. "Couldn't I just take off my pants and strangle myself to death?" I ask. "Are you?" I shake my head. "No, I'll just be really turned on." She sighs. "I didn't need to know that get dressed."

"How are you feeling?" Another patient ask. "I'm tired." I say quietly. "Is it the meds?" A nurse ask immediately. "No! It's because I can't get more than an hour of sleep without you waving a flashlight in my face! Than I can't go back to sleep for 3 hours!" I say annoyed. The nurse rolls his eyes and walks away. "I'm Toni." I say quietly. "Heather." We shake hands. "What are you in here for?" She ask quietly. I look at her. "I um... I don't know. Honestly last thing I remember is walking out of my schools psychologist office." I say quietly. "I kinda just slept through yesterday and I guess got evaluated." I tell her. "What about you?" I ask. "Oh! Depression." I nod. "I'm sorry." She nods.

I look at Cheryl. It's been a few months and I'm actually medicated for my fucked upness. It's great! I feel great! "It's nice having my brain be quiet." I say quietly. "You also like not spacing out." She says quietly. "Yeah!" I smile.