Choni One Shots pt: 2

358: The One With the Confession

TONI POV:

I look at Cheryl as she watches the sunset. "Ah! Cheryl? I need to tell you something." I say nervously. She looks at me. "What's up?" She ask quietly. I sit up. "I know we haven't been dating long and I really like you. But I need to be honest with you." I say quietly. "I'm a recovering addict." I tell her. She looks at me. "That's not what I thought you'd say." She says sitting back. "I'm sorry." I whisper. She shakes her head. "Don't be!" She tells me. "How long have you been sober?" She ask quietly. "Ah! About a year and a half." I tell her. "I have a sponsor, I go to meetings everyday. I've have come close to relapsing but I haven't! Please don't feel like you have to walk on eggshells around me, that makes things worse." I explain. "How long have you been an addict?" She ask quietly. "Since I was 17. My mom died and I didn't handle it well." I tell her. "She had cancer and was on a bunch of different medications to help her. I got ahold of some and I didn't stop. Until I was 23, I was addicted to Heroin, I was in my bathroom, I realized I couldn't find a vain and I quickly realized that I needed help, so I checked myself into rehab and I got better. I still use marijuana but that's because I have Anxiety so it's prescribed to me." I explain to her. "How do you feel?" She ask quietly. "What do you mean?" I ask her. "Since you've gotten sober. How have you felt?" She ask quietly. "Pretty good." I tell her honestly. "I still have years of NA meetings and therapy ahead of me but I remember feeling like shit but I couldn't even pretend to be able to function without anything in my system." I tell her. "What made you want to tell me tonight?" She asks me. "I trust you." She looks at me. "Really?" I nod. "I really like you Cheryl. I'm crazy about you." I tell her. "You're all I think about." I whisper. She pulls me into a kiss. "I know this might be jumping into things, but I'd really like you to be my girlfriend." I tell her. "I'd like that." She tells me. I smile. "I probably should have said this sooner or before I asked you to be my girlfriend. But I would really prefer that we could get to know each other more emotionally before we have sex." I tell her. "Ok. I can respect that." She says quietly. "I don't want to have sex just to have sex. I want it to be real." I tell her. She nods. "I'm ok with that. I get it." She tells me. I nod. "I do believe in sex before marriage though. I think people who don't do that are stupid because then they have that awkward time you're supposed to have in high school with the person they're planning on spending the rest of their life together with." I explain. She looks at me. "I have permanent brain damage from all the drugs and I'm nervous and naturally talk out of my ass." I tell her. She smiles. "It's ok. It's better than my last relationship where you really had to dig to get her to talk." She says quietly. "I did most of the talking. I prefer listening." I nod. "We're perfect for each other then." I say jokingly. She smiles. "Is there anything I shouldn't do or mention in front of you so I don't make you uncomfortable?" She ask quietly. "Don't walk on eggshells around me, I hate that, it pisses me off which kinda sends me down the relapsed path, because I feel like a child when people do that. I would also prefer if you didn't drink alcohol around me, I don't really have a problem with alcohol, it's just my mother was a raging alcoholic and it just kinda triggers me and again, makes me spiral a little. I know I can't really control what you do but still just don't get drunk around me." I explain. "I don't drink. Alcohol taste bad and the smell makes me gag." She tells me. "I don't even hide that anymore, I use to pretend to like drinking. But I kept almost throwing up every sip so I just stopped. Also I'm a lightweight and it's not worth it." She explains. I nod. "Anything else?" She ask quietly. "Ah! If I disappear for an hour or two, I promise I'm not relapsing. I'm either at a meeting or with my sponsor. Just text me. If I'm over at your house or you're over at mine and I kinda disappear when you're asleep, don't freak out immediately. I will try to leave a note, depending on the time I leave you might just be getting a text." She nods. "Also, don't mention drugs! Kinda a giving but out of site out of mind." I tell her. "That works." She tells me honestly. I nod. "That's all, if anything else comes up I'll try to remember to tell you. I have a bad memory." She nods. "Ok." She says smiling. "Is there any big no no's for you?" I ask her. "Ah! Not really." I nod. "Ok. Any physical things?" I ask her. "Um... I don't like when people touch my back. It makes me uncomfortable. It's weird, I know but, it's just weird for me." I nod. "It's ok. I won't touch your back. Anywhere else?" I ask her. "I um used to ah! Cut myself on my thighs so if you avoid that it would be great." I nod. "Ok." I tell her. "What about you?" She asks me. "Ah! I don't like when someone touches the back of my neck or my neck at all." She nods. "I wasn't raped or anything, I just feel like someone is choking me even if they aren't." I tell her. "You don't talk about your father a lot." She says quietly. "Oh! I don't have one." I say quietly. She looks at me confused. "My mother was not the Virgin Mary! My mom wasn't married but really wanted a kid so she used a sperm donor. I do have a father, but I only know him as Sperm Donor number O3815." I tell her. She nods. "Oh! That makes so much more sense then what I thought." I look at her. "I have no intention on meeting my father." I tell her. "Can I ask why?" She ask quietly. "I don't care! I don't need to get attached to someone like that." She nods. "That's fair." I nod. "You still want to be my girlfriend?" I ask her. "Yeah. It'll take a lot more to make me hate you." I nod. "Cool." I smile. She looks at me. "Do you have any secrets I don't know about?" I ask her. "My father killed my twin brother then himself." I look at her in shock. "You're that Cheryl." I say quietly. She nods. "I'm sorry." I whisper. "That must have been hard." She nods. "Fun right?" She say sarcastically. "Yeah." I whisper. "I honestly don't really want to talk about it right now." I nod. I look at her. "I'm ok with that, but I'm all ear if and when you want to talk." I tell her. "And the nice thing is that I have memory trouble so if you tell me something that needs to be taken to my grave, I will forget ten minutes after you tell me especially if it's a very blink and you miss it moments." I explain. She smiles. "You know that's not a great argument. Because I could tell you something really important and you'll forget." She says quietly. "Write it down and stick it somewhere I can see. That's what my roommate does." I tell her. "You have a roommate?" She ask quietly. "Yeah! My friend Fangs. He's not as scary as his name suggests. His real name is Drew. He's really sweet." I tell her. "How did he get that name?" She ask quietly. "Oh when we were younger before you lose all your baby teeth he kinda looks like he had Fangs, so we started calling him that and he thought it was funny so it stuck. We were really stupid in elementary school." I tell her. She smiles. "How stupid?" She ask quietly. "Well, there's 3 of us our teachers definitely called us the 3 idiots to our faces on multiple occasions. All 3 of us have ADHD. So 3 children of with ADHD, bored in a classroom, together." I tell her. "That doesn't mean you're stupid." She says quietly. I look at her. "Do you know how many times I've been to hospital to get something out of my stomach because Fangs dared me to swallow something that wasn't food?" She smiles. "Like what?" She ask quietly. "I swallowed a crayon. A few guitar picks. Some other stuff I don't remember." I tell her. "How are you alive?" She ask quietly. I shrug. "That's a great question. You're guess is better than none." She smiles.