Robin one shot part 3!

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idkwichname requested this one so I hope they like it!!

TW: EATING DISORDERS ARE A THEME THROUGHOUT

Eating disorders are deadly. Speak out if you need help which I know is incredibly difficult but please do. I've used this video as well as others to represent it correctly but if there are things that are wrong here please let me know and I will change them. Stay safe and be kind to yourself

https://www.lifeworkscommunity.com/eating-disorders-treatment/guide-to-uk-free-eating-disorders-helplines

https://www.bulimia.com/topics/eating-disorder-hotline/

Control. 

It was an important and key part of child development. When a child feels out of control, they do what they can to feel it again. When Dick's parents died, he felt out of control. The act was supposed to go how it usually did. His mother was supposed to grab him and they'd do a few tricks and the crowd would cheer for them. It was supposed to be fun. Then the wire snapped and suddenly everything changed. His world shattered. They plummeted to the ground and became a bloody mess. His mind took a picture and remembered to pull it up whenever closed his eyes. Then he wasn't even allowed to stay with the people with who he grew up. The authorities snatched him away and he tried to scream for them to let him go but they took him anyway. He didn't have a choice in the matter. They put him in a car and he just dealt with the situation as he was driven somewhere he didn't know. He was numb as he was led into a room and told this would be where he was staying until something happened. Something. He couldn't trigger that something to happen. He couldn't be the person to make the thing happen. He had to wait. He didn't have control. Then something happened. Bruce Wayne fostered him and took him home. That's where he was now, sitting in a foreign home at a dining table with food he didn't want. 

"You don't have to eat it bud. It's up to you," Bruce told him after watching the boy play with his meal. Those words struck something in the boy. That's right. He didn't have to eat it. He could choose this. He could choose what went into his body. He could control that. He chewed his bottom lip and stared at the food before nodding to himself. Did he want this food? No. Then he wouldn't eat it. He pushed his plate forward and Alfred swiftly picked it up. "Would you like anything else?" He shook his head. "Alright, then how about you go wash up?" He nodded and hopped off his chair, content with this discovery. Control was something his life had been lacking and now that he had it, he wouldn't let go of the death grip he had.  

So Dick grew up with a system. When things felt out of control, when he felt he couldn't get a handle on his issues when too much was happening to him, he'd control what he ate. He'd become calorie obsessed and almost challenge himself to restrict more than he ever should. It came with some relief to see the effects of his work such as his frame becoming slimmer and becoming much lighter. It was his little secret to keep control of life even when it damaged him. Perfecting excuses had come hand in hand with the coping mechanism so much so that no one was aware that he even had a problem with food. He'd argue he was sick, which he usually was thanks to his stomach cramping from the lack of meals, or he'd assure them that he was just training himself to run on low energy if he was ever kidnapped. Other times he'd say it was a diet and on a few separate occasions, he'd say he'd already eaten but he kept that one to a minimum in case anyone called him out on it. Once whatever stressful situation passed, he'd lightly let go of the restriction just to prove that this wasn't a problem. He could stop at any time, he assured himself. This was a coping mechanism, not something that needed seeing. Besides, he couldn't risk people finding out and making him give up his control. Everything was fine as long as he could stop right? Wrong. One particularly stressful school term mixed with pushing his abilities at night proved it could only last for so long without people finding out.