Robin one shot part 3!

Long time no see

pt 2 to self-indulgent writing BUT this isn't for me specifically this is for AgentEliza 

EDIT: TW WALLY'S DEATH THEME THROUGHOUT

If you can't remember pt 1 here's a summary

Wally is gone and Dick left the team after blaming himself for everything that went down. Yes, this is Birdflash. Dick goes to the speedster house with Wally's things because he doesn't deserve them and tries to hand them over. Bart has a pop at him but immediately regrets it because he made him cry. Barry takes him inside, Dick explains he can't lead the team for now and Bart insists that he should come to visit anyway. Then he goes home after having an uwu moment

Bart couldn't get his former leader off his mind. He knew from stories other people told that Wally and Dick had been inseparable for years. Some spoke about soulmates but he didn't really believe in that. What he did believe was the pair had been the perfect match and played to each other's strengths. That would explain why Dick was doing so badly without his trusty speedster by his side. He'd gotten used to having someone be there to make sure he was doing everything he needed to and now that presence was gone so suddenly, he had no idea how to exist without it. Maybe if he had the team again he wouldn't feel that way but he'd been very stern on the fact he didn't want to lead them anymore. Bart understood that but coming back to them didn't mean having to lead them. He could just hang out. It would just be good to see him again and hang out like old times. Everyone wanted it. "Think any harder and smoke will come out of your ears," Tim stated. The speedster had almost forgotten he was staying at The Hub. In fact, everyone was. It was their weekend together where they were all free from their hero duties though everyone knew Robin would be making an appearance at some point. "What's up?" 

"I think we need a group meeting about a certain acrobat," he replied. Tim furrowed his eyebrows at him. "It's just...you should've seen him. Heard him. The guy wasn't himself and he blamed himself for Wally. Yeah, he didn't do the right thing but c'mon. No one deserves that right?" His teammate nodded. "You worried?"

"More so than I care to admit," Tim admitted. "I'm so used to him just dropping by and joining us on patrol randomly but he's never gone this long not seeing us. I suspect he's hiding his condition. Bruce isn't the best when it comes to these matters and Dick is more likely to get a lecture about his health rather than something heartfelt." He knew something was going on. He wasn't stupid and it was clear for anyone to see that Dick wasn't okay. There was no way anyone could be when their partner died, no less someone who thought they were responsible for it. It was all well and good that Nightwing was appearing every night but what about the civilian beneath the mask? He was human at the end of the day and he could only push himself so far. 

"Do you think everyone will be okay seeing him again? After everything?" Bart asked. 

"I think so. What affected us feels small compared to what he lost. He was just a teenager after all."

"What're you two talking about? You're gonna miss the movie," Garfield stated, thumbing to the set up they were making. 

"We need to have a meeting."

It was another patrol night and Nightwing was going from rooftop to rooftop looking for crime to stop. He was in his head. Thinking. He knew that being so out of it would be his undoing one of these nights but he couldn't help but do it. Wally would be watching TV at this point with his snacks and he'd be sending updates on what was happening on the shows he watched. It gave Nightwing something to do on his breaks and he loved how excited his boyfriend was. There'd be no messages. If there were, there wouldn't be any from his beloved ginger. That ginger was gone. Not even a body to bury. He didn't know if he was okay with that or not. The thought of Wally's lifeless face, inhumanely pale and hollow was stomach-churning so he was happy he didn't see that but then there wasn't any totality in all this. That shred of hope that maybe he wasn't completely gone could be devastating at points. No options were good. Nightwing drifted his mind back to what he would come home to had he not ruined everything. It'd be quiet and he'd climb through the window as quietly as possible. Sometimes Wally would be up and greet him other times he'd be fast asleep. Then the hero would strip off and get into something more comfortable. He'd go into the kitchen to find little notes stuck onto things to make cereal with. Little love notes just to make him smile. They were so simple but they made his night and he kept a collection of them all. He'd sometimes look in that box of those notes but he had to stop himself now. It always ended in him sobbing for something he could no longer have. Nightwing shook that thought and went back to playing through his old routine. After eating, he'd crawl into bed and wrap his arms around Wally where the ginger would complain about his cold hands. He wished he could do it one last time so he could hold his boyfriend that much tighter and tell him how he loved everything about him. How he loved that Wally jumped from topic to topic and ranted about his latest obsession. How he loved the stupid puns at three in the morning and how he loved that Wally had been brave enough to leave the hero life behind when he thought it was too much. Wally was everything he wanted and even then Dick didn't follow him to civilian life. Yet his lover didn't blame him. This had been his life since nine and there was no way that someone could just give something like this up when it'd been so much to them. Nightwing bit his bottom lip to stop it from trembling. He just needed to tell him how much he was loved. Did Wally know he loved him before he died?