Robin one shot part 3!

At least I still have you pt 2

dunno_know requested this a while ago but here it is finally

So I'm gonna be honest - i put off this story for so long that I genuinely forgot I had this request so I think this has been waiting here for a while

TW: follows on from the suicide attempt 

https://sossilenceofsuicide.org/?gclid=Cj0KCQjw38-DBhDpARIsADJ3kjn2gCMdx_ygHYr5QLZ2-e8R-x2vJeB3JUYGBJkUzP2E1XTPkHRmGMAaAnhkEALw_wcB

https://suicideprevention.ca/

https://www.inclusivetherapists.com/

Dick was in the hospital for four days in total, allowing a visit from Jason and Alfred but refusing any from Bruce. The most he allowed his mentor to do was look from the window or listen in through the door. He couldn't even look at him and he didn't know why exactly. He was mad of course. Mad that he'd lost so much that he'd turn to take his own life, actually following through on thoughts he'd always had but never to this intensity. Never with such proof to their claims of him being unwanted and pathetic. Yet deep down, a part of him yearned for the mentor he had when it was just him Bruce and Alfred because that mentor would've never made him feel this way in the first place. He'd be breaking down the door to make sure he was okay even if Dick didn't want to see him and he would've made the time before it got this bad to make him feel worthy. He felt a weird sense of guilt too for attempting and failing. As though he'd put them through hell and back only for there to be a conclusion that would prompt a return to normal. It wasn't returning to normal though. He was going to live with Clark whilst he recovered which he also felt conflicted about. Clark was always a stable figure in his childhood and he was happy to live with him. He could do with someone who could actually hold a conversation about emotions and be constructive about it rather than bury it until they both could look past it but never fully over it. The issue was that Bruce had offered him the same salvation, a place where he could be taken care of when his parents died and look where that got him. In time, would someone he respected turn into someone who wanted nothing to do with him once again? If he voiced the thought then Clark would put it to rest but so had Bruce once upon a time so he kept it to himself. He silently prepared himself for the worst ending when this chapter of his life had only just begun. Still, he had that impossible hope swirling around his heart that he could never snuff out fully. It had been there to make him pause between taking pills but it had been drowned out for long enough to take the concoction only once again reared its head in his final moments like a cruel joke. Well, supposed final moments.

There was always a warmth in Clark's home that the manor just never had even as it became a place that Dick was fond of. Dick thought it was because it was so small that he didn't feel the extensive loneliness that his previous home held. He liked that Clark's home looked lived in. He didn't have a butler running around to make sure everything was perfect, there were coffee cups left in random places without coasters to protect the wood, and there were marks on the walls likely from Clark's accidentally hitting them with his laser vision and work clothes were laying half ironed on an ironing board that had a permanent spot beside the door. It was comforting seeing that someone was there and watching a city bustle from your window which his own couldn't offer always made him feel better. From his bedroom at the manor, he could only see the twinkle of city lights and distant honks of cars but this was closer. He was in the thick of it. Clark showed him the spare room that he often stayed in when he slept over to escape the constant arguments. At this point, it felt like his own bedroom rather than a guest room and the superhero now looking after him didn't object to the notion as he purposefully bought things he thought Dick would like to decorate the room. Dick was a particular fan of fairy lights and lamps that allowed him to have soft lighting as he relaxed. Sometimes overhead lighting felt like tiny knives in his eyes and he had no idea how Clark could possibly know he struggled with that but he was oh so thankful.