Robin one shot part 3!

Replaceable

totally not projecting about my fears

anyway birdflash time 

TW: BLOOD

Dick thought the day he stopped being Batman would be one of the best days of his life. He hated the mantle he'd been forced to take despite all the years he'd spent trying to evade its shadow, yet the responsibility fell upon him as the oldest and as the first Robin. It wasn't all bad though. He'd been able to raise Damian and he had to admit it was nice having a Robin by his side to chat with on stakeouts and depend on having his back. Damian grew on him, they just clicked one day and suddenly he'd do anything for the kid. If he were honest with himself, he'd be able to say that he was starting to feel more like a father than a big brother but he could have a degree in denial if they ever gave them out so he pushed that feeling back down. Maybe that's why when Bruce said he could return to Bludhaven and he'd take over that something felt wrong. Like he was returning home but now his room had been swapped over and everyone had a different routine. Perhaps the dog had a new limp they never told you about or now they get takeaway on every Saturday rather than once in a blue moon as you remembered.

A pit grew in his stomach whenever he saw Batman out with Robin because it wasn't his Robin. That was Dick's Robin, his partner in fighting crime. He'd done so much for his little brother who desperately needed help outside of training. He went to the parent-teacher conferences, he went to the after-school events, he helped him with homework, he was a confidant when no one else would listen and he'd give advice that was actually taken every once in a while. He did all of the things Bruce didn't do and although it wasn't like Bruce had dipped out on them on purpose, he felt that seed of anger grow because it just wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that Dick had to do all the hard work of teaching a reformed assassin how to deal with life and then Bruce got to stroll in to reap the benefits of his work without so much as a thank you. Logically, he knew that was a rather biased view of what happened. The way Bruce likely saw the situation was his eldest stepped up into a role he didn't want and now that the previous owner was back, he could go home. Why did it feel so wrong though? Why was he feeling so mad when it's not like he'd never ever see Damian again and he could go back to being Nightwing?

Then, as he sat in his flat alone one Saturday night watching the news cover yet another Batman and Robin takedown, he realised why it felt so wrong. Sure it made sense to be a little upset at the change of routine he'd grown to love and how he'd miss seeing Damian every day but that didn't explain the seething rage about to breach the surface. It didn't make sense why he'd feel so jealous when he never wanted to be Batman with a Robin, especially after his childhood of feeling like a sidekick rather than a protege. Then he figured it out. He'd been replaced. Again. Damian didn't need Dick, he needed Batman and at the time it was him but now that it wasn't that didn't matter. Bruce had once again taken Robin from him only this time Robin was a person and not a title and it hurt so much worse. It was like a stab directly to the heart every time he thought about being so proud of the kid for opening up and then someone else seeing that soft side to Damian he rarely showed without even having to work for it. He didn't know if he had a right to be upset about losing Robin because at the end of the day Damian wasn't his kid but he'd been his Robin.

Replaced.

Again.

Was that his role in life? To be a placeholder for people until they found something better? How long until Bludhaven replaced him with a new shinier hero? How long until his friends found a better person to be friends with? Well, that'd already happened hadn't it? Even if they would deny it when asked, Roy and Kori were now close-knit with Jason now. Although he was happy they were friends - because Jason really needed some friends who wanted to murder people but wouldn't usually do it - he couldn't help but feel replaced when they hadn't spoken in a while. The phone worked two ways but nothing from them inspired him to be the one to reach out first. Dick sighed to himself as the silence of his home became almost deafening. He could admit to using people before to make himself feel better and God knows he regretted it so maybe the universe was teaching him a lesson by having him get this realisation when there was no one around to make him feel better. If Nightwing was a little ruthless that night then no one said anything.