Aroace thoughts/rants

Random realzation

So I've been thinking and I reread some of what I wrote about on here and I've said I hate fictional romance, but I don't think it's the romance or the romance itself I hate.

Yes, I could live very very happily without any romance in books/tv shows I read and watch but most of the time when it's there, it's just there and it's chill and I'm chill. Maybe on the rare occasion I do like it or even love it but I feel like most of the time it's just neutral and chill.

I think where the hate comes from is when it starts taking over the plot when it was never a romance book/show, it starts acting like it's the best relationship in the whole book and better than all the friendships that I personally love and obsess over. It starts acting like nothing could be stronger just because it's romance, or when the fans use the ship to undermine other friendships (intentionally or unintentionally) and make it the main focal point or when there's a love triangle and they hate on the other character they don't ship. (Unless it's like a love triangle where one of the boyfriends/girlfriends/partners is like a horrible and toxic person, that doesn't count as a "love triangle" I mean like all 3 great people, both ships are healthy and nontoxic and happy and good)

I think that's why I "hate fictional romance" because when it's by itself it just simply exists and I exist and everything is cool. But then when people either in the book/show or in the fandom start acting like it's the best thing around and everyone should agree it makes me feel bad for the other characters or friendships that are getting overlooked because of these ships and then I grow a strong obsession with these characters and the other friendships to the point where I'm so protective of them I hate whoever hurts them even though they're fictional and in my head the fictional romance is hurting them or making them feel unseen or left out and so as a result, I hate fictional romance.

I am so bad at explaining things and putting words together so I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense but here's an example (I'ma use Julie and the Phantoms because I'm obsessed and i literally love this one character I'm gonna use in the example. I would protect him with my entire life.)

So when I fist watched Jatp, I clearly knew what the ships were (Julie/Luke and Alex/Willie) and I was like okay cool, but I'm here for the individual characters, the cute little found family thing with the band, the music, the friendships, the suspense with like Caleb and stuff, and it's a cute and funny show.

Now, after watching the show many many many many times, Reggie became my favorite character. (I love him so much I wanna be his best friend and eat pizza with him and he can play with my grandmas new puppy, he loves puppies okay I'm sorry I'll continue) and as I dived head first into the fandom (probably a little too fast. I love the fandom I do, I really do, but not gonna lie it kinda changed the way I watch show for me and not necessarily in a good way. I don't wanna use the word ruined but yea it definitely changed and it changed after Netflix canceled it too. I'll use ruined for Netflix. Netflix ruined it)

Anyways, entering the fandom (this is before I knew aromantic was even a thing, side note) it was a lot of juke and willex this, Luke this (I would say most people have a fictional crush on him) and Julie this, it was cool at first because it was new. And I saw a decent amount of Reggie stuff but it wasn't really near the amount of juke stuff I was seeing and at first I was like "okay sure I mean I guess they're cute but can I find some non juke content for a second?" And then I found out about the ship ruke (Reggie and Luke. Also remind you I love friendships and they have a really cute bromance friendship thing that I really liked and I didn't know not having romance was an option.)

so since I didn't know that it's okay to have friendship above romance I shipped these two because I was like "I must ship them since I love their dynamic" and it involved Reggie, the character I'd literally do anything for just for make him happy. Kid you not I almost cried one time because I was scared he didn't have a happy ending because at a convention the cast was talking about how they personally would end the show and they were giving silly answers at first but then they told the actor who plays Reggie to give a serious answer and he said something like "I always thought at least one of them would come back to life (Alex Luke and Reggie  ghosts) and they'd all kinda do their own thing and move on" I was in tears, my heart was being destroyed because in episode 9 (the last episode) Reggie expressed concern about being apart from them so then I'm like omg what if they did grow apart and Reggie's all sad and I was sad thinking about him being sad. Anyways sorry for getting off topic, continuing on.

I had a crazy Ruke phase and let me tell you it was painful. I read every ruke angst fanfic I could find and if that's not painful enough, I knew they'd never be canon, and I knew I might run out of ruke content since it was less popular.

Well now I now what aromantic is and I know I'm aroace and I project onto my favorite character and head canon him as aro (he doesn't date anyone in the show and as I said, in the last episode expresses his friends being the only family he has and not wanting to be separated from them so it makes sense to me) but what I'm saying is since there was way more juke content than Reggie content I got a little salty and felt like it made Reggie sad he didn't get more love in the fandom or people were acting like juke and willex were like the best and most kinda love and I'm like but what about Reggie like the band's friendship is insanely cute and loving don't act like it's less (like especially since Reggie didn't have a love instead in the show I didn't want him to feel lonely or like his friendship with the others wasn't important I'm crazy I know 😭)

so I make it my life mission to give him all my love and make him feel loved even though he's fictional and it doesn't really matter.

And I know I've been rambling a lot but real fast with the love triangle, real quick example Julie and Luke and Nick. I haven't seen too much of it which is good but don't use juke to hate on Nick and I have seen this a few times, don't comment "Luke's better" on Nick edits especially if they're just Nick edits and not Julie and Nick edits. Also this is just a pet peeve I guess I don't like when people start out with Julie and Nick and transition to Julie and Luke (it's a popular trend I think with a lot of ships) like I got excited someone was doing something different but honestly there's probably no reason for me to complain about that (as long as you were intending to be hateful and we're just doing it for the transition)

So anyways, I only hate fictional romance when it takes away from the things I loved and clinged on to, or when it changes the way I watch my favorite show (That kinda sounds selfish when I put it like that 😭)

But yeah sorry this was long and it's probably still confusing. I was all over the place. This is the most rambling and ranting I've ever done 😭

I'm sorry, again I'm bad at putting my thoughts and feelings into words especially because I'm kinda afraid of coming across as a hater or a mean person like I don't wanna be mean or hateful but I don't know how else to describe what I'm feeling.

Also I talked a lot about Julie and the Phantoms today I'm sorry I know that's not everyone's thing, and if it is your thing I just talked about how I don't ship the main ships that much (I'd have to say I ship willex more than juke just because I saw less of it and felt less, lack of a better word, forced or bombarded by it, I don't know 😭 gosh the juke shippers might hate me after this if they read it)  and I'm sorry to talk bad about your favorite ship if you love them.

Okay okay I'm gonna be done rambling now. Sorry if this makes no sense or you took it the wrong way, please continue loving what you love and shipping the characters you ship, don't listen to me I'm just a silly aroace girl speaking into the void 😂 thanks for making it this far, and I hope you all have a wonderful day 💚💜