Aroace thoughts/rants

A hill I will die on

I don't even want kids but if I do they're like 99.9999% most likely gonna be adopted bc the whole process of getting pregnant and going through a pregnancy scares me. But even then I don't really wanna raise a whole kid 😭 like idk.

But a hill I will absolutely let myself be murdered on his, if you HAVE to prioritize someone in your life, it better be your kids (if you have them).

I'm tired of people saying "once your married your partner comes first. Even before your mom your friend and your kids"

Like hell no. Don't have kids. I don't even consider myself Christian anymore but I would literally pray to god people like this don't have kids.

Especially when those kids are younger.

It is your responsibility as not the adult but the PARENT to not only keep them safe, but LOVE them and show them love and teach them love and care.

Like you should be putting your kids needs before anyone else regardless because you're the one that decided to bring them into the world (unless it's like a rape case and they decide to keep the baby that's a little different. But like if you're married and you both plan to have a baby, I'm talking about that situation) you choose to have a baby. That baby didn't ask to be brought into the world.

You didn't bring your friends or husband into the world so like you don't owe them the same things you would owe your child.

Like it's your job as the parent to love and protect your kid and the fact a woman, a potential mother said this actually makes this worse bc like people say like "motherly instinct to protect" and all.

I'm not even a mom, I don't even want to be a mom, but I already know in my head that I'd put my kids first no matter what.

I'm not even really trying to say you should love your kids more than others but you need to show them more care and give them more attention where they're babies and little and stuff. I mean as they grow up they'll need less help with things but as your parents I feel like it's your life long job to love and care for and support your kid as long as they're like not taking advantage and stuff.

When stuff like this happens and I starting thinking about this part of me wishes I could ask my mom about this and ask her "are you suppose to put your spouse above your kids?" But like even if I could ask her I wouldn't because how do you ask a question like that?

Like back to what I was saying before - I need to explain better. When I say "put your kids first" I mean like if there was some kinda dangerous situation you'd help your kids first then your spouse if you could unless it's a situation where you might need your spouses help to help the kids.

Instead of spending time with your spouse, read a bedtime story to your kids or literally both of the parents can read it together.

But putting your spouse above your kids is crazy.

For me it's like

Family. It Includes siblings, parents, my very best friends, and hypothetically husband and kids if I had them. But family is all prioritized.

They're all on the same level of like love bc like I've said love is infinite for me so if I love you, I can't love you more than someone else I love, I can only love you differently and give you different amounts of attention and time. Like I'd have to give more attention to help my kids bc if they're like 3 they can't make their own food, but just because I take the time to feed my kids and not my best friend doesn't mean I love them more. I'd just protect them more because they need more protecting and it would be my job to do so as a mom. If I go to target with my sister but not my non existent husband it's because going to target is a thing I like to do with my sister, it's our thing.

I feel like I've made conflicting statements idk but bottom line is if society really wants me to put one single person above the rest of the world, and I have one kid (because im sure as hell not favoring one kid) if I have one kid I am prioritizing that kid. If I have more than one society can fuck itself bc choosing one person is stupid anyways like what the fuck.

And like I can rant here all I want but it's not gonna do anything because you guys all will get it. You guys get how romance shouldn't automatically be prioritized. But I'm like too afraid to talk to people about this who actually need to hear it.

But yeah. That's all I have to say. So thanks for listening, I'm wishing you all a fabulous day/night and a happy spring break to those of you on it, I'll be spending my time sleeping, writing, working on scholarship stuff for college, and trying not to get in a car wreck while practicing driving :)
Best wishes, take care 💚💜