Aroace thoughts/rants

Honest truths

I may or may not be considering writing a full length aroace story on here 👀

But I mean...hypothetically... if I were to do that...this would hypothetically be chapter 1. (Hypothetically)

Katie was scrolling through Netflix and stopped on her favorite show. She smiles- thinking of the characters she loved, the ones that made her laugh. The music, the plot, the beautiful friendship between the characters, how they were a family. The tears the last episodes brought her, the anger it brought her when the show was canceled. A soft smile for all the things she adored.

But the smile was fleeting, it disappeared as her cursed brain whispered something. Her cursed brain who loved to whisper tournaments, doubts, false truths, and even worse- honest truths.

"The found family was nice...but to everyone else it'll never compare to the one thing you can't attach yourself too."

Katie's aroace. Asexual and aromantic. The ace part was easy to her. Just don't have sex. Don't read books with sex, don't watch shows about sex. There's plenty of books out there without sex. The aro part was what caused Katie to constantly be at war with herself. There's not as many books without romance. Not as many shows.

And when her brain whispered in her ear, an honest truth about her favorite show- a show that was there for her in a dark tunnel of grief and torture, the show became poison instead of a remedy.

What once filled her heart with joy, now sucked life and color out of her and jumbled her feelings in a blender, returning them only when they were beyond recognizable.

Katie turned off the TV and grabbed her phone. Maybe the one thing she needed to cheer herself up was talking to the one person who understood it. Not that he even had to, because his words were as sweet as honey and his laugh was contagious and curing. He didn't have to understand her, he was already enough as is. But the understanding was the cherry on top.

"Hey can you come over?" She asks.

"Sure! Be right there." His voice always was like a rainbow poking through dark storm clouds, pushing them away. It always carried enough joy and energy for the two of them. It could have been more, but the two of them were all they needed.

That's an honest truth her brain never lets her believe. It only whispers the honest truths that'll stab her heart and poison her soul.

Reminders of bad decisions she's made, how if her mom could see her now she's would be disappointed.
False signs of false friends, her heart would argue with her brain for a life time on this.

"If he hated us he wouldn't be our friend." The heart remarks, always more wise than the brain.

"You know he's too sweet to say it out loud." The brain says. "He's too kind to tell the truth."

Both seemed true. He was too kind to spread hate, but he was also to kind to lie and lead people on, being a fake friend. He didn't believe in fake friends.

"You don't know anything. You are just missing the signs he's politely giving to say he wants you to leave him alone."

"Or you're just creating problems where there are none." The heart retorts.

Again. Katie was at war with herself. Unable to discern the honest truths from the convincing, manipulative lies.

"One day...he'll fall in love. And where will you be?"

"Happy for him."

The heart normally doesn't lie- unless it's lying to itself as well.

"You'll be sad and alone."

"What's so sad about being alone?"

"Everything." Katie whispers out loud. The thought of not only being alone but losing her best friend to something she doesn't even wanna chase but rather hide from, was heart shattering, stomachs wrenching, and brain throbbing.

And that was her honest truth. She wasn't in love with him, but she loved him and didn't wanna lose him.

So that hypothetically might become a full length book on here.

Okay wait in all seriousness... I just got an idea for this. This might possibly work as a prequel for a book I'm currently writing (I'd have to change the name Katie to the name of my character)

I might. I might do that. I'm not sure.

Anyways that's all I have. Thanks for reading!! I'm wishing you all the best! Have a wonderful day/night and always take care 💚💜