Aroace thoughts/rants

Love of an aroace

I wrote some more trashy poetry the other day. No actually I kinda like this one but it gets worse as it goes because I was too busy having a mini crisis. Anyways enjoy 🫶🏻

They say how can you love
If it's not writing a romantic poem and releasing doves
They say how can you love
When you don't but romance above the rest
They say how can you love
And they don't realize all the things I do
They aren't in spite of love but because of love

Long paragraphs of ranting messages
Me telling you all me deepest frustrations
Not because I expect you to fix them for me
I know I'm un-fixable
But I love and trust you enough to open the door to my heart. For you
Not many people get an invite
But you do
And that's how I love
I talk
And I talk
Because I don't know how to say I love you other than talking.
If I talk to you...you are special
I don't talk to everyone.

So when I sent you paragraphs and paragraphs
And you respond with "can you sum it all up, I don't wanna read all that"
Or you don't answer at all
Well honestly it makes my heart fall
It's been falling for a while now
Is there to ground for it to hit
Or is it doomed to endless fall the more I endlessly talk

Endlessly talking
Somehow the same day I need to talk to you the most
is the day when all I see as I endlessly scroll through social media "having a crisis friend is tiring"
Am I your crisis friend
Am I tiring
Is my endless efforts of trying to show love when I thought I couldn't a fail
Maybe they were right
I can't show love
And when I try...
It gives the opposite effect

I try and love
But maybe to my deepest core
I'm just a soul sucking, energy taking, tiring, bad friend
Who can't even wrap her small thoughtless brain around how to show love

But don't be mistaken
I'm not dumb because I'm aroace
Most people like me are far smarter
I'm just dumb. And aroace.