Aroace thoughts/rants

Holding on hurts but letting go is worse

Not really an aroace poem, but it is a poem and I don't really have anywhere else to put this so enjoy 💜🫶🏻

Also side note, this sounds like it's about a person. It's not. It's about a tv show...haha🥲 Umm not gonna say which one. But you may know

You were beautiful
You were wonderful
You were everything
You were a dream
You were a nightmare
You made me ugly cry
You made me happy
You made me sad
You made me mad
You were everything

They say healing is moving on
Funny,
You had a similar quote
The way you handled the theme of grief
And healing
I was grieving too when we first met
I thought I could ignore my grief because I thought you magically healed it
But you just distracted me from it
And like the poem I read in English class said "nothing gold can stay"
Robert Frost was right. Gold leaves.

You were golden.
And you had to leave.
And you left
And all of the sudden I wasn't just grieving from before you
I was grieving everything
And I was grieving you
But I was staring to grieve you before you left

You saved me
But you also ruined me.
I hate that you know
Because you didn't ruin me
You're perfect
It's my own faults that made me ruined
My own faults that ruined the way you made me feel

I know I should move on
Move past you
Most would be now
It's been over 2 years since you were stripped away
Over a year since we've really talked
And it feels like an eternity I thought about you the way I did when I first met you

Most would have moved on by now.
But how can I when I can't stop thinking about you
Involving myself with you
I say it's time to move on
But you still own a piece of my heart 
I always want you too
I hold on instead of moving on
Because you are too important to let go

If holding onto a hot rod was the only thing keeping you from falling into a pit of blazing fire, you'd hold on, wouldn't you?
As so, holding on to you hurts, it burns.  But letting go would be so much worse.