Aroace thoughts/rants

So nice

This is definitely not a rant or me complaining. And that's not sarcasm this is like not a rant.

Okay so my friend and I left our class because we didn't have any work to do so we went to go sit in a class of another teacher that's really nice and we just hand out in there. We do it all the time.

But her boyfriend doesn't have a 7 class and we were in there for 6/7 (the way we do our periods is like 1/2 is a block period but you can have a skinny period and just have a class 1, so me and my friend have our class for 6/7 the whole block and her boyfriend has just a class for 6.) so she was gonna leave with him for 7.

So now it's 7 and I'm sitting in the teachers room alone (not alone alone like she has a class on there but like o don't have friends in here and stuff) and I told her it was fine (this is why it's not a rant.)

That's the thing like she saw so sweet and was like "I won't leave if you don't want me too I don't mind il l stay" but I didn't wanna like make her stay at school if she didn't have to and all and like I can't be like "no stay" so I'm like "it's fine" and she like asked me multiple times if it was fine🥹

I don't know why that makes so much to me but it does. Normally she just tells me "hey I'm leaving with my boyfriend" but she asked. Many times to make sure I was okay. And she was like "I don't want you to like feel anxious if you're in there alone"

Like...

Since when did she care so much about me 🥹

I talk a lot of rant and anger and annoyance on here but there's some good too. Like that little thing and but of love from a friend fills me up so much allo people don't even understand. I guess they do...that's how they feel about their romantic partner.

So yeah. It was nice.

And as anxious as I am, there's no fixing that I'm more anxious around my friends than I am alone or with strangers.

I may have mention this before but social anxiety when I'm with strangers is things like "what if they kidnap/murder/rape me or something or say something mean or something or think I'm weird or stupid. But at the end of the day, even if they hate me or think I'm weird and I think back on that moment embarrassed, I didn't lose that person because I never had them.

With my friends though, my social anxiety is almost worse because if they think I'm weird or stupid or annoying and then they decide they don't wanna be my friend anymore like that's scarier than a stranger not liking me.

So I'm gonna be anxious no matter what but like the fact she cared...
Like I just feel so good now. I don't know.

Anyways that's all I have to say, so thanks for listening and I hope you all have a wonderful day/night, take care 💚💜