Aroace thoughts/rants

First choice

So I guess my current aromantic spiral is how society pushes the idea you can only have one favorite person and it's pretty much like a unstated rule it's your romantic love interest.

Like that audio "I will always chose you" from the vampire diaries. Listen I need different people for different things okay.

Like if I need a hug? It depends! Sometimes I need a hug from a friend, sometimes I need a hug from my mom. I'm never gonna get either but hey it doesn't stop me from wanting them. But if I want a hug from my friend and like my grandma hugs me. Like no thanks. But like there's other things I need my grandma and would chose my grandma for.

Like cut the crap with "your my first choice" "I'll chose you first for everything" "your my favorite person"

Like bitch. No. Okay sometimes I need my mom, somtimes I need a friend any friend, sometimes I need a specific friend. Like I can't rant about Jatp to my non Jatp friends and I can't rant about aromantic stuff to my allo friends or I guess any of my friends bc they're all allo but that's besides the point.

Like how does society push that one people and it would be like a red flag if you aren't your boyfriends first choice for everything.

Like k get wanting to be enough for someone and like feeling like you don't want the people you love to want more from you. Like I get you wanna feel important and like you're enough for that person be happy. But like... I can be happy with a person and feel like they're enough and still need more people because one person can't do everything.

Like yes when I'm with my friends, they are enough and I'm happy with them and I adore them. But that doesn't mean I'd chose them over my sisters for everything. And just because I love my sisters downs mean I'll chose them over my friends every time.

There's different kinds of love and relationships for a reason. One person can't be your first choice for every thing. One person can't be everything. At least not for me.

Like if someone said I was their first choice for everything it would make me feel loved at first. Sure. And I think that's just human because people love being loved. But I don't wanna be anyone's first choice for everything. Yes I want to be someone's first choice for SOMETHING, even if it's just one thing. But I can't be one persons mom, dad, best friend, boyfriend, grandma, dog, teacher, neighbor... I can't be all that for one person.

I can't be a mom to my best friend. I can't be a dad or a dog or a grandma or a boyfriend. But I can be a best friend.
Why is that automatically second choice or thrid choice when it comes to romance.

I'll be honest- it was a Jatp edit that sparked this rant. They did start attacking my TikTok fyp again and the first couple were really cute and all and then of course it's just normal to see a ship edit. It's normal and I'm trying to not complain but like it was with that audio "I'll always chose you" and it's like...one person can't be everything.

Julie would chose her mom if she could for other things, or Flynn, or her dad, Tia, Carlos, the band, Alex, Reggie, and yea she would chose Luke first for some things. but not EVERYTHING.

same with Luke. He has other people he'd chose first for other things. He'd chose Julie first for some things too.

The thing I have to remind myself is just what I said above. That Luke may chose Julie first for some things, but he'll chose Alex and Reggie first for things too and Julie will chose Flynn first for things too. I just have to remind myself when I see these edits that because when I se them my brain immediately feels bad and hurt as if the friendships they have with other people don't matter as much but they do. And I know that they do and in doesn't matter what other people post in their edits. I have to stop letting it bother me and stop letting out get to me and stop letting my brain jump to these conclusions.

So yea. That's all I have. Might talk more about this subject later because I can't stop thinking about it. Like seriously, do allos seriously have one favorite person- like how is that possible? I almost need allos to come on here and like talk about this bc like- what?

Anyways that's all I have to say. Thank you so much for listening and I hope you all have an amazing day/night! Wishing you all the best, take care 💚💜