Aroace thoughts/rants

Replaced

Another Alec Benjamin song because I kinda forgot there are a few songs of his that literally like alter my brain chemistry. Anyways this one is only on YouTube unfortunately. It's not on Spotify, so that kinda sucks. But it kinda gives I built a friend vibes, which is another Alec Benjamin song

Anyways I'm so sad it's not on Spotify because I don't really like listening to songs on YouTube becuase and I tend to forget about them. I only remembered this because the other day my sister was singing I built a friend and it made me think of this song and I also made an edit to this song lol but I don't think I'm adding it because it was one of my first edits so it's bad and it was one of my first edits so I was in my ruke phase so it's sorta a ruke edit and I am embarrassed.

Anyways the song.

"It's been 18 weeks since I've seen my friend and it's hard for me to comprehend how this happened. Perhaps it's just a phase"
Like...🥺🥺 already I'm feeling sad. Like he misses his friend. It's been so long. 🥺

"When we turned 13 we made a pact that we'd always have each others backs and it's tragic. But I think I've been replaced" ouch. That hurts. I am in physical pain. Like when I listen to songs for the most part I try and picture a story in my head and some songs make it really easy and the story just automatically plays and this is one of those songs. I just clearly see the story and I see these two friends, they're best friends and they promise they'd always be there for each other but then one gets a girlfriend and starts forgetting about his best friend 🥺

"Seems to me those days are done, no more time for fun no more time for friendship" 😭 what do you mean no more time for friendship? His friend better make time!

"Just last week I called him up to make some plans" he's trying to do stuff with his friend. He is reaching out. "I haven't seen you in a minute I know it's your favorite team" dude is literally fighting for his life. Like "hey I miss you" and he got tickets to his friends favorite team because it's not about what you do, he doesn't care he just wants to spend time with his friend no matter what it is they're doing and he wants to do something his friend enjoys. 

"I've got plans with the Mrs for our anniversary" like I get celebrating that is important but like maybe you could try and do both or try and find a new plan to do with your friend.

"Could you call me when you're free?" Something tells me the friend never calls 🥺

"And in my heart I felt like something died inside of me"  😭 killed me.

"I guess this is how it feels to be replaced" literally one of my worst fears. As cute as I think it is when spouses call each other their best friend, it's only cute if they are actually best friends and like not just giving the best friend title to their spouse and forgetting their best friend. It's one of my worst fears. Not being my best friends best friend anymore because they say their significant other is. Or suddenly I'm not as important to them anymore or they don't need/want me anymore.

"I have tickets to the ball game and no one to go with me" like somtimes fun things are only fun when you're doing it with a friend. What's the point of going alone?

"I never thought that this was how my life was gonna be" you think you'll have that friend forever, you don't think of the possibility you'll lose them.

"I'd hate for this to be the end but I just can't see how we can mend this divide now. I don't think there's anyway" 🥺🥺🥺🥺 (also yes I'm sorry I'm going through every single lyric of this one. I just can't. This song needs to be on Spotify.)

"I know friendships fade and plans can change" 🥺 friendships fading is like one of the saddest things. "I was naive to think we'd stay close forever maybe that was my mistake" 😭 no. Like no. And this lyric fits so perfectly with a theme for a fanfic I was writing that I don't think I'm ever gonna finish but I might take themes from it and put it in original work but long story short (it was a Jatp fanfic) Reggie was felt like he was naive or dumb for believing they'd be like friends and that close forever and like the point was they would be that close forever and the whole fight thing was just a big accident whatever so like anyways a huge plot of that story which is one of the safest things I've written and you guys know how much I love Reggie so the fact my brain connects that lyric too that makes me so sad 😭

Goes through the chorus again and like you can hear it on Alec's voice. Like it sounds like he's it's like a tired yet desperate and sad tone reaching out to his friend. And the friend so nonchalantly says he's busy like he doesn't care.

Okay that's the end. So yeah. I just. I NEEED it on Spotify 😭😭😭 like it would for real put dancing with strangers (my all time fav song that I Lauren to on loop A LOT) at risk of not being my number one listened to song on Spotify wrapped.

So yeah. Ugghhh now I wanna make an edit to this song again because like I don't know. The first one I made is bad. And embarrassing and just not good. There's some good parts but like it's not my best and I don't like the point of the edit anymore because I'm not a huge ruke shipper anymore.

Anyways. Thanks for listening. Hope you enjoyed and I'll see you on the next one. Hope you all have a beautiful day/night, take care 💚💜