Aroace thoughts/rants

2nd grade grudges

So this was either first or second grade I don't remember and yes I know either way it was a long time ago, but I think about this randomly some days and then I can't stop thinking about it and the more I think about it the more in like "what if this is what they meant" let me explain.

Let's set the scene.

Baby second grade me (I'm going with second grade bc, still might be frost idk) was sitting alone on the bus ride home. Red flags. Why am I sitting alone? I always say with my friends? They are in the seat across from me laughing and having fun and I'm left out. I don't know if something happened before or what but for whatever reason I wasn't included. They were playing this game where one of my friends, a girl I considered one of my best friends, was saying "clap your hands if you like insert random thing. I don't know if they were putting names in before or what but then she puts my name there. "Clap your hands if you like Baylee" never heard silence so deafening as I waited for any one of my friends to clap. No one did. Then, my best friend laughs and says "no one clapped their hands" and they carried on.

Like what the heck. Kinda rude. But now I'm like "wait did they mean like in general or like like, like have a crush. because if that's the case, even if I didn't know it at the time, I don't wanna anyone to like like me. So jokes on all them.

Except I haven't spoken to any of these kids since like 5th grade because after 5th grade I moved to a new school made new friends and realized my friends from elementary never wanted to be my friends. Well there were a few real friends but I still don't talk to them bc we just grew apart.

Anyways. They probably forgot all about this, but not me. I guess I just hold grudges.

Thanks for listening, wishing you all the best day/night, take care 💚💜