Aroace thoughts/rants

TikTok made me sad

My TikTok fyp has been having too much kick to it. LEAVE ME ALONE 😭 like I'm at school I got maybe an hour, an hour and a half at most, of sleep last night, Jatp TikTok won't leave me alone and keeps feeding me delusions of a season 2 that I quite frankly only want if Reggie is either confirmed aromantic or doesn't get thrown with a random romantic love interest and the fact that that's the most truthful statement I can say about season 2 is rough bc I woulda killed for any season 2 in 2021 and now here I am only wanting it if it please my platonic or aromantic heart. (Or both.)

So this TikTok I saw, it was like "when I have so much love for my friends but they only seek romantic love" 😭😭😭 and the CAPTION "I can only give platonic love and unfortunately that's not always enough" WHY NOT 😭😭😭😭

And the fact is, I don't even have close friends like that. I do but I don't. Like two of them are online and live literally hours away, we live in different time zones, one of them leaves me on read a bunch, and the other one leaves me on delivered but is still active and then I feel like a crappy person bc then my for you page on TikTok is like "if you don't understand your friends have a life outside of you or don't always have the energy or time to text you you're a bad friend" and "normalize low maintenance friendships you don't always have to talk to them" and it's like I do understand life gets busy and stuff but I still find time and energy to text them and then I feel desperate bc I respond to them within seconds, because I have nothing else to do or anyone else to talk to and I like talking to my friends. And then there's one friend who used to go to my school but no longer does so k never see her either bc our plans never work out and she never texts me but she also doesn't always have a phone so I can't blame her but when we do text it feels like I'm carrying the conversation or I'm always the one reaching out and none of my best friends are even dating, so it's not even like they're choosing romance over me yet it's so hard.

Which is why I love single characters who have strong platonic bond. Why I love Reggie so much. Because he has best friends, a kind of friendship I try to have with my friends but then fandoms and the shows writing and promotion even undermines the platonic love and puts it under the romance every time and I guess it hurts so much because litterally all I want is platonic love and my favorite character has that and it's getting overshadowed and I don't wanna lose it completely so I headcanon them as aromantic bc I guess I just project my feelings.

And I have to go to English soon and then math and I'm tired and I hate math it's gonna suck and I can't go to sleep when I get home bc then I won't sleep tonight and I hate TikTok for making me go down this spiral.

Like why can't platonic love be enough. Because I can clearly see it is for some characters but I don't want the fans or the writers to ruin it. 😭

Okay I'm done ranting now. Thanks for listening, I'm wishing you all the very best. Have a beautiful day, take care 💚💜