Aroace thoughts/rants

The struggle

Sometimes I wish I wasn't so romance disfavored. A lot of aromantic people talk about how they like to read about others falling in love in books and such, and as I've said before it just doesn't do anything for me and I can end up hating fictional romance at times when I feel like it's taking away.

I wish I wasn't like that.

I wish I shipped all the ships in the shoes I watched so I wouldn't be so annoyed everytime I see someone talk about them or so I could watch the show and the scenes with them without rolling my eyes. The first time around it's not a problem but after seeing everyone else obsess over it I can't watch/read the show or book the same way again because the ships just start to annoy me.

I really wish I wasn't like that. Things would be a whole lot simpler if I could just ship stupid characters and be normal.

And I feel like I'm just being petty by not liking it because everyone else likes it and that's what starts to turn me away from it. And when I start to feel like it's taking away from the other stuff I start hate it and it feels like I'm just being petty and I wish it didn't annoy me so much.

This is kinda off topic but it also annoys me when people ship two random people together just because there both single.

But like before I knew I was aro or anything it's not like it upset me this much and now all of the sudden one of the main reasons I can't watch my favorite tv show anymore is because I can't stand the main ship and I want to like them because that'll make things easier and I just don't know how to explain it. I can't put it into words or explain it.

Why does it annoy me so much like I'm annoyed with myself for being annoyed. It's not that deep but for some reason it is to me.

Is it normal to sometimes wish I wasn't aromantic at all?
I've never had a problem accepting I'm asexual. Like at all.
But sometimes I feel like I don't wanna be aromantic and I feel like that's like not a good thing to say and it's not like I have a problem with other people being aromantic like I think it's a totally okay thing to be but it's just so hard and it's like I wish I wasn't like this or at least that I liked romance in fiction.

And it's like I feel guilty too for not shipping the main ship of my favorite show. And other times I don't feel guilty at all and I'm like "I don't ship them and that's fine. The people who ship them can be mad at me and I wouldn't care" and other times I feel like it doesn't make me a real fan if I wanna skip parts of the show that are consider romantic scenes between them.

Idk. I just sometimes wish I at least liked fictional romance as much as everyone else.

That's all I really have to say. Bye 💚💜