Aroace thoughts/rants

When a dude asked me out #3

This one is so weird. So this was the second time it happened and I was like 14 almost 15.

Hopefully this is the last one I have to write too. Sorry I don't go in order of how they happened I just felt like talking about them in a different order I guess.

So anyways, I was at this girls house for her birthday and there were other girls there and to be honest I wasn't friends with any of them but we all went to the same church so it was like all the girls our age from church and I don't like church or those girls 😭 I honestly think her mom made her invite me since she was probably inviting all the other church girls

Anyways we take pictures and post them on instagram and tag each other or whatever, and apparently this dude went to the same school as one of the other girls and followed her, he saw me in her post, recognized me bc apparently we were in the same rec soccer team one year, and he sends me a dm.

At first it's casual talk, he says he remembers me from soccer, and I don't remember him but I kinda do but I really don't but I'm like oh cool.

Well eventually he starts flirting with me, expect I don't realize he is I thought he was just being nice. Until it started getting more obvious. He said I was really pretty and I was like Aw thanks and then he said "do you have a boyfriend" me, "no" him "would you like to change that 😏"(or 😉 don't remember) and that's when I started to feel slightly uncomfortable. Well a little more than slightly.

Anyways I thought we weren't talking that long I think I have the time line a little messed up or I'm miss remembering but I thought we were only talking for a few weeks but it must've been a few months. Anyways i guess it doesn't really matter how long we were talking but at this point I must have been 15 at that point. I'm so confused about the timeline. We posted the pictures that day, so June of 2020. I was 14. But I am like 83% sure when he asked to be my boyfriend I was 15 and my mom already passed away so it would've been at least sometime in October 2020. So there's you're timeline range you probably don't care about the time line as much as me lol. Maybe he didn't text me right after the post was made like I thought he did.

Anyways, I didn't know what to do and I didn't wanna leave him on read bc instagram tells you if they saw the message. It's like midnight at this point.

I have no idea what to say or what I'm doing and I don't wanna hurt his feelings so I reply "idk I've never had a boyfriend before what would we do" and then I immediately text my best friend like "what do I do??!" And I told her about what was happening.

I got back to the guy and he responded something like "oh I'd just like cuddle you and we'd hang out or something" and I was like "ew" I think I almost started crying because I was so uncomfortable with that. I don't remember.

I didn't say "ew" tho I don't remember what I said back to him I think I just said oh okay but like I was like "ewww I don't know him I don't wanna cuddle with a weird stranger" in my head.

Anyways I end up doing what my friend tells me bc I don't wanna date him, I'm weirded out, and I don't wanna have the date if talk with my dad and ask him if I can date, and I didn't want to date so she says "tell the dude you have to talk to your dad and then just don't talk to your dad about it and tell the guy in the morning you cant until you're sixteen."

So I tell him that and I think he said he was willing to wait or something idk. I didn't text him back or answer him anymore and then I blocked him after a while.

I'm 18 now. Wonder if he's still waiting😭😭

But it's so weird because I do want to cuddle but when he said that I was like "ew" so I think cuddling is only okay for me after a deep emotional connection and honestly probably only with other girls or like aroace or at least ace guys or a guy I know for a fact isn't sexually attracted to me and wouldn't see cuddling as a sexual attraction thing. Idk. I just feel weird about doing it with a guy.