Aroace thoughts/rants

Guilt

I for some reason feel guilty when thinking about who my best friends are becuase to me I just feel bad saying one person is like "my favorite person" so I have more than one favorite person because I'd feel too bad only choosing one.

But when it comes down to it I know I'm not anyone else's favorite person. Other than maybe like my parents and grandparents but that doesn't count bc they also love my siblings and their spouses.

And also I have an online best friend who like gets me. She gets me so much and we like the same music and stuff and she understand how I feel about romance. Like she was talking about this movie and I said oh maybe I'll watch it what's it called and she said oh it's this movie you can watch it on Amazon prime but it's a rom com and it has a lot of cheesy romance in it like showing she knows that I don't like that and cares to tell me I may not like the movie. 

But like there's my friend I've had since 6th grade, and I love her so much and everything so I can't say like one is my favorite over the other because I just love them both and I just don't understand how someone can have only one favorite person.

Like what about all the other people in your life? How can there only be one?

And I mean sometimes you really do only have one person but I'm talking about somebody who has really close friends, more than one really close friend, but only one of them is "their favorite person" and it's almost always their romantic partner friend that's their "favorite person" like what about the others, I just feel bad for them ya know? I feel like they feel left out or something

And maybe that's just a part of who I am. When something is favorited over the other thing, I start to feel the need to give extra love to the thing that's getting less love because I feel like it's unfair. I don't want anyone to feel left out.

Especially when you have a friend group and everyone in the friend group has a love unrest except one person, I feel like I need to make that person know they can be my favorite person because their friends are busy with their love interests. (Those who know me know exactly what character I'm really talking about here lol)

So yeah. I just wanna give all the love to those who I'm afraid feel under valued I guess.

Thanks for listening and I'll see you one the next one, happy November! It's still fall and it's snowed last night where I am. On Halloween. Go away winter 🥲

I know a lot of people are gonna be like "it's Christmas season!!!" And if that's you that's fine but if you're one of the people who are gonna be mad at those who aren't yet like calm down its November 1st I'm tryna enjoy fall. I love Christmas I do, but its becoming too much for me.

Anyways now I'm done talking. I hope you all have a wonderful day, take care 💚💜🫶🏻