I'm scared of the word love
Or maybe there's a better word to describe how when I hear it I never know how to react
I want to show love
Show love to my friends, the most important people in the world to me
But I can't say it out loud
Like if saying it out loud crosses the imaginary boundary of what friends can say to each other
Love is too much
But when I hear them say it to me it's like I got into flight, fright, or freeze
I hear them say it and it's almost like it doesn't belong
Or maybe it's me who doesn't belong
I want to say I love you back
But freeze takes over
It's never awkward though
Whenever my friends say love it's in a fleeting moment
Like a substitute for goodbye
The moment I've collected my self to unfreeze the door is already closed
The moments passed
And I try again missed my chance
I'm scared of the word love
Like when I hear it I don't believe it
Like the word was never made for me
It doesn't belong to me
I can't feel it and I can't be it
YOU ARE READING
Aroace thoughts/rants
RandomHi, I'm aroace and some things around romance culture make my brain hurt ???? If you're aroace you might relate to some of this or maybe not. Idk. I just need to do something with these thoughts before they consume me Includes: Thoughts Rambles Ra...
