Aroace thoughts/rants

But what is "more"?

The phrase "more than friends" is really starting to bug be because it's so subjective yet somehow society is always pushing this strict order and more than friends implies romance.

I will admit that I think, for some people, yes. Romantic love can be more than friends. But I don't think that's the default and I think it's absurd to just make up this order or what's more and what's less when it can really be different for the person experiencing the emotions.

Like k saw this TikTok like how it's sad when two people are "more than friends" and "less than lovers" like there's this cut and dry scale that's the same for everyone.

I don't even know what my scale is. It's like a bunch of scribbles maybe. Becuase like it's not like put platonic love in general above all other loves it like depends on the person and also I kinda love everyone the same amount.

Like there's people that I love, so my family my friends and that one fictional character I wish was real and would die for. There's only one fictional character on this category, then there's people I like but don't love. I care for them and like them sure, but like...I probably wouldn't die for them like I would for the people I love. (I mean like sorry to them, but I'm pretty sure they wouldn't die for me either, it's like a mutual likeness) and then the other fictional characters I really like are right around here too.

So like the people I love, it doesn't matter if it's familial or platonic and I guess hypothetically romantic if I had romantic attraction, I love you unending and therefor can't number you because I love you all and it's all unending. I've talked about this so I don't wanna spend too much time explaining this.

As much as I wish platonic love was claimed as much as romance, I know not everyone will value it as much as they value romance. But I do think it's important for people to realize not everyone values romance above platonic.

I think everyone has a different scale and what's "more than friends" to one person may not be the same to another person. So when people causally throw out "more than friends" I know that's meant to imply romance but why does that have to be the default.

"More than friends" to me is like a best friend/platonic soulmate or a best friend who is like a sibling or your sibling or your parents. Like there's friends and then best friends.

Friends are people I see and talk to at school and we might sit together in the same class but I wouldn't invite them to my house all the time like I would a best friend, who may not even go to the same school as me. We don't have forced proximity.

Anyways I just think people need to stop making this scale the default. Because what's more to one isn't the same for everyone.

Because I even if one day I find myself attracted to someone romantically, I definitely won't love them more than my friends and family. I'm not saying I'll definitely love them less, maybe it'll be the same. But it won't be more.

Also fun little side note, I had an oral exam today for French and for the third part of the exam I got to talk about my hobby, which is writing. And I mentioned how I want to write books that show importance of platonic love. I said "romance is boring and trite" 😭(in French tho)  but yeah. I got to talk about the importance of platonic love for a second and it made me less nervous for that part of the oral because it was something I cared a lot about. Hopefully my teacher isn't hard core kindling me now😭 she said "that interesting" (in French) 😭

Anyways that's all I have to say, thanks for listening. I'm wishing you all the very best, I hope you have an amazing day/night. Take care 💚💜