Aroace thoughts/rants

Turning Out

This song was recommended to me by @SunshineMagicAuthor  (I don't think it's letting me tag you...) anyways thanks for the song rec! I love it!

"Do you have instructions?" I would love some instructions honestly. Or at least a hint or something. How do I know my feelings aren't romantic if I don't know what romantic feelings feel like?

And "am I ready for love or maybe just a best friend, should their be a difference"

I mentioned on here how much I love Jeremy and Carolynns relationship and their like my only exception when it comes to loving love and when they call each other best friend I melt because that's so cute but also like the more I think about it, will my best friends' spouses replace me as their best friend?

And one time when I said I'd rather date someone who I'm friends with first she said my boyfriend should be my friend anyways and I see her point but I wouldn't want to date someone who isn't already my friend first and I wouldn't want that person to sudd let become more important than my friends.

I only have a few friends, all of them are girls and I'm pretty sure they're all straight and allo, so they want to find a boyfriend/husband. So it's not like I could even really have a QPR and platonically get married to any of them, which if I had the choice that's kinda exactly what I want but it's just not gonna happen ya know. So I feel like I need these instructions as to figure this all out, but I guess there really isn't instructions for any of this and that's the hard part. There's no instructions.

I grew up on Disney too. Not just Disney but every show I watched had people falling in love, and I didn't think anything of it. The sky was blue, grass was green, people fall in love. It was just something I knew was as a fact, but after I found out I was aroace and I will never fall in love and I don't have to either, all of the sudden romance bothers me and it never did before. Because before it was all I knew so I just accepted it. Now that I know that it's not a fact, it's harder to accept I guess.

"You say I turned out fine. I think I'm still turning out"  I'm still figuring things out yet. Who really has everything figured out. I'm still figuring myself out and working through my thoughts and emotions.

"I'm a little kid, and so are you don't you grow up before I do" I'm technically an adult by law now (18) but I still feel like a kid. I'm graduating high school soon, and all of the sudden life feels like it's moving faster and I need to grow up and start figuring my life out. As a kid I thought that met: job, husband, kids. 

I don't know what I wanna do as a job, I don't wanna get married (romantically) and I don't want to have kids. I don't even have my drivers licenses yet.

I'm still turning out and maybe there is no true end because we are always constantly growing up so there is no official end.

Anyways that's all I have to say. Thanks for listening and thanks again for the song recommendation. I hope you all have a wonderful day/night and remember to take care of yourselves 💚💜