Might as Well Face it, You're Addicted to Love (Joe Perry/Nikki Sixx)

Chapter 158: Don't Close Your Eyes Part 3

Of all things, that I NEVER imagined.... NEVER saw coming was THIS: my daughter, being shot TWICE.... her blood staining the ground crimson...soaking it & not knowing if she would live or.... die. 'Die' fuck.... does this HURT. We can't lose her.... we NEED her.... We LOVE her: Our Josephine. The world already seems a hell of a lot LESS bright.... waiting...fucking waiting to hear ANY news & it pisses me the fuck off.... Nikki too I know that we found OUT on the fucking news BEFORE authorities could contact us & Elyssa.... that evil bitch, look at what she's DONE. I wanna...kill her myself, apparently from what we've learned.... she was shot, very minor injuries & I let it be KNOWN, she will SUFFER & that is polite. Still, my mind.... all I see now is Josephine, her blood everywhere.... her falling.... Amara.... Amara too. My children, MY family don't deserve any of this & I feel like this is MY fault, though I know that sure the hell ain't true. And if I know Nikki, he blames himself for letting Josephine go with her friend's aka family, it's not his fault nor mine...right now, we are all of us barely hanging on waiting, wondering if the light that is already so dim will be forever extinguished & THE tears...the fears haven't stopped since they started....

I feel myself shaking, Nikki too as is Amara.... trying to breathe, sobbing.... We need each other, JOSEPHINE needs us. And haltingly, stammering.... sobbing, Amara speaks giving Nikki & I pause & oh her words.... Nikki & I hold her, each of us doing what we can for her despite our own anguish....

"D-Daddy.....Momma....I-I....am sorry.....I didn't listen to Josephine....she t-tried so hard..." Amara's sobs wrack her frame, "---To take care of me when...when that lady.....I-I Mean I wanted to help.....she...she saved my life....i couldn't LEAVE her.....but, its....my fault....my fault she could die...."

"H-Hey.... LISTEN Amara Rain Perry....and breathe..." telling both her and really Nikki & myself, "---IT IS NOT your fault...." I soften my tone as much as I can, "---Its not mine, nor your mother's.... though we may blame ourselves. I promise you; you DID help.... you do. Sweetheart, you are so damn brave.... you went back, though it scared us shitless to try & help your sister...I know its hard...it hurts like hell, but honey we need each other.... Josephine needs us, we don't have to be so strong...." My voice cracks, "—Josephine will come back to us.... she MUST."

"A-Amara.... your dad....is right.... it's hard to feel like that's all true right now, to have hope.... I nearly.... lost BOTH of my babies today...but we're proud of you, for going back damn the risk to yourself...and Josephine saved your life.... She's a hero, she's, OUR hero. She knows how much she is loved and needed.... still the last...last thing..." Nikki breaks down, we all do cling to one another desperately. We calm gradually at least on the surface & the next thing we know....

Our family.... ENTIRE family arrives, baby storm in tow...and Nikki & I are surrounded by our children: Amara, Frankie, James, Tony, and baby Storm who wakes fussing.... Nikki gently taking her, rocking her to calm her despite his own turmoil.

"We.... damn...." Steven Tyler breaks down before managing to keep going, "---Your kids.... You needed them, needed US & especially that JOSEPHINE needed us. Is there any news at all?" He asks desperately, face carved in sorrow mixed with rage, rage I know for Elyssa, rage at how unfair this is.

"No..." Nikki croaks out, "No...news...and t=thank you...for bringing our children.... protect..." My husband's voice cracks, "—tecting them." He whispers.

Nothing more is said....Nikki and I cling to each other, cling to our children....those tears still come....Nikki & I share kisses....hold each other, just to let the other know....to let everyone know we're here for each other.....time passes, too much time....Mick Mars demanding some kind of answers, though his voice is choked from tears, and no one seems to know, other than Josephine is apparently in surgery....but NO ONE knows if....if she is ALIVE......oh my baby girl, hang ON....PLEASE don't leave us....and then suddenly:

"Family of Josephine Perry?" My heart stops & about beats out of my chest both, as the Doctor.... looks solemn, my breath leaving my body, all on edge as they find a seat, across from Nikki & I, "—We did manage to find the source of the bleeding from her second wound....and removed the bullet. The first was a bad graze. However, she lost a fatal amount of blood & we are sorry...." GOD NO!!, "We briefly lost her on the operating table. But we brought her back, she is alive.... With luck she will survive the night, regardless we are very sorry to say she will be in a coma, because it would take weeks for her blood to be replenished. We are giving her blood as we speak, oxygen.... a feeding tube, her wounds have been treated. It's a miracle, the second bullet DIDN'T hit any vital organs, including her reproductive system, which is also intact, so she will be able to have children pending survival. We'll have a nurse bring you to her shortly & please if you or your family need anything let us know." They leave, gaze sympathetic, solemn eyes filled with tears....and there is silence, silence other than the oceans of tears that are being cried....

"I...I.... I.... damn.... damn......she.... she......GOD...." I cry, I turn to Nikki....to our children, "We can't.... can't lose her Nikki.... kids.... but.... She NEEDS US, WE NEED HER. And I miss her.... this isn't FAIR, and I swear...Josephine will get justice, she deserves that.... deserves happiness, and a damn break. We all do. But she is a HERO. OUR HERO.... look at what she's done.... she saved Amara's life, and Amara?" I pause, locking gazes with my oldest twin, "---You are too, ya know? You went back for her, to help her still it doesn't make it hurt any less. But honey, I am proud of you for being so brave. I love you; I love you...HER and I love Tony, James.... Frankie...Storm.... we are not alone, not alone."

I tried SO hard to remind myself that.... we weren't alone, Nikki did too....and to hear that with luck, with hope that Josephine would survive the night? As you know, SHE DID but then? Then we didn't know that & we had no clue & it was the longest night of our lives. I will tell you that, EVERYONE stayed the night.... watching over Josephine, fuck what the hospital rules said. Nikki & I needed them, Josephine needed all of US. Still, it guts me to this day.... just how eternal that night was & how eternal it was once she ended up surviving the night only to be condemned to a living death: a coma. It was a miracle she survived, that she kept fighting, everything about my oldest daughter is a miracle.

"Joe...." Nikki whispers tearfully, "It still hurts.... that night, what followed.... how HARD it was for us all & reliving what it was like when we nearly lost ME again.... when those painful moments from the past merged with our then present & it was a miracle.... a miracle, that she survived the night.... takes after us, stubborn as fuck. But still, we couldn't even prepare ourselves for the possibility of having to say goodbye, nothing could. In the end, we got thru it...wasn't easy...but we did & our oldest could HEAR us.... she came back Joe, she came back..."

"Cause...no matter where I am at in the world.... i will always come back to you..." I whisper, Nikki & I hold each other tightly.

Where you next find us: Nikki taking the reins will be the start of the longest night of our lives.... those wee morning hours of Josephine's 15th birthday.

A/N: Part 3, a long night for the Perry Family is in store. More to come soon!