Might as Well Face it, You're Addicted to Love (Joe Perry/Nikki Sixx)

Chapter 151: Josephine & Amara's Surprise Part 3 (Josephine Nicole Perry)

"It won't end Josey, we'll always remember....and I feel the same way. I love you too Josephine & if I haven't told you.... you're my hero...." Amara, I feel her hugging me tightly, us sharing a moment. -----That moment, among many from tonight keeps playing in my head on a loop. My sister is SO right....and it blows me away she sees me as her hero, that she & my brothers & Youngest sister do. I am my mother's daughter after all. What a night this has been! One of the best nights of my life!! I can't BELIEVE my family kept this a secret from me, but I LOVE that they did.

And they did it to HONOR us....as we honored them as Uncle Pink aka one Steven Tyler said. Everything has been the best dream.... come true: Here at the Rainbow Bar & Grill, a place that saved my life.... a place special not just for that, but for my parents.... It's where they had their first date. The food......our favorites, the gifts......i feel SO loved & special....it blows me away that they did this for Amara & I. And it's such an honor to share this with HER & my siblings....and right now? at this moment: Courtesy of my mother's band: Mӧtley Crϋe aka my uncle's & especially my mother...Nikki Perry-Sixx, my sister & I are SHARING a stage with them playing mine & Amara's favorites. We don't miss a beat, we aren't.... Tony, James, Frankie & Dad cheer the loudest...looking SO happy & proud. Everyone here is....and it's like I blink & we've already played 3 songs or so it seems.... And right NOW:

Our mom is grinning widely.... his look full of love & pride, hugging us to him & Uncle Mick & Aunt Vinnie & Uncle Tommy are getting in on the action but now mom's look is emotional & the following makes me & my sister's jaw's drop....

"This next song.... I've only sang & played live once with the Crϋe, but I know how much you girls love it. And I know you know this song.... very well, so I thought we could do 'Finding my Self'. BUT I want you Amara & you Josephine to sing it with me...." I think mom, means to say more but my sister & I tackle him practically our guitars slung across our backs.

"Oh M-Mom..." That is all I can get out, but he of course KNOWS cause he is the best mother & person. His response is to hug my sister & I tighter & then our gazes travel to dad, Frankie, Tony & James, they KNOW too.

No, you don't always need words, you are never alone...always are you surrounded by love, always you are safe.... always....

And now the song begins, and I don't know WHY mom doesn't sing live (Besides the one other time) He truly does have the most beautiful voice, and he's one of my biggest inspirations especially vocal wise along with dad of course, followed by Uncle Pink & Aunt Vinnie......

'Find Myself'......For all my life, I tried to find WHO I was, I never belonged anywhere. You couldn't take me; I was anarchy in human form.... I longed for things that were for me for fairy tales, I didn't want to admit that. I wanted to find my place, to find LOVE. I was my own worst enemy, always seeking out my own destruction & being thrust into that at the same time through no fault of my own. I didn't have a choice.... that is until I met your father & to think neither of us knew then, but we DO NOW....'

I hear the echo of mom's voice in my head, clear as day.... It's a story he's told many times. His point was music.... you write what you know, what you FEEL. Music is meant to make you FEEL....and right now? I FEEL love, on top of the world...I am finding MYSELF & right in this moment.... i AM HERE....

I sing a part.... Amara sings a part....and our voices are one as we blend with mom & I never want this to end....

The song is over before I know it.... but I am so hyped up, so emotional.... you name it, I FEEL it & most of all I feel the love.... The evening rocks on, jamming with Dad.... with our family, my sister & I am taking turns on leads.... it's such a perfect, perfect night....

Before I know it, the night does end (For now) & we talk with family, our gifts are packed & I find myself in the car with my sisters, my brothers & Our parents. I hear the murmur of the voices I love & know so well......

And I find myself saying, letting the tears fall. "—THANK YOU, thank you for tonight.... mom, dad.... Tony, Frankie, James...And Amara, it's been an honor, a blast & has meant the world to me. I love you all so much, so much it hurts.... a GOOD hurt." The echoes of love surround me, we all come together in a group hug & I am lost.... lost & found both....

-Joe Perry-

It was the perfect tribute to my oldest daughters, taking place a few days after their grand, kick ass debut. It was the greatest surprise of their lives; it was perfect as I've said. It was everything, and they got to share another of their greatest dreams with myself & our family at large & especially sharing & LIVING their dream of performing with my beloved Honeybee's band. Not to mention (of course they killed it, I mean naturally) Nikki did something for them that was a rarity...he sang the only song he's ever sang lead on for the Crϋe, he wanted to do it for the girls & to this day I can NEVER forget their expressions. Both sets of those much-loved green eyes they share with Nikki, wide.... full of tears & then they practically tackled him. It was such a beautiful moment, forever frozen in time. The whole night was stellar, beautiful...you name it. In other words, it was HEAVEN......and the days that followed saw us helping the girls with their newfound fame, protecting them as much as we could & In short living life. However, a month, a mere month after all this took place. Tragedy would strike.... a devastating blow in the form of a miscarriage. I remember the kids were in school, I'd taken a work out....Nikki had taken a shower & the moment I stepped FOOT in our house, I heard those agonizing screams of his & raced upstairs to find him covered in blood, clots....huge clots....everywhere & then he lost consciousness & was so out of it....when he came to in the hospital, god....the look on his face, the look we shared....when told he lost a baby & couldn't have more children...it all haunts me, haunts US. But he wasn't alone, it wasn't easy & we in the end got thru it. We had such love & support thru out it all, especially from our children whom we clung to even more so. Still, it hit us hard....and as we've alluded to here during our tale: we as it turns out would get our rainbow baby.... our surprise but no less loved rainbow. We had no fucking CLUE, until the day she was born, that day of July 6, 2003, but we had no clue Nikki's whole pregnancy that he WAS pregnant. He was tested; it always came back negative.... he gained some weight, which he felt insecure as fuck about, but I always showed him, reminded him how fucking stunning he was & IS, because I loved him & still do so very much. I remember all those months until July or thru it, his back pain was constant & the point of all of this...is, it would turn out he'd gotten pregnant in October 2002.....the baby, she would be full term....it was scary as fuck, since I was on stage at the time & was fetched by a very worried Mick Mars. And the other point 2003 would turn out to be a year that brought not only the most Beautiful Storm.... but the worst, for a few months after Storm's birth....my ex-wife (One Elyssa) would strike, hurting US....and hurting nearly taking my oldest daughter's life which would result from defending & saving her sister Amara's life & would hurt her in the process...... This is all I will leave you with for now....and for next time, a sudden & much-loved Storm.... Storm Bianca Perry would come.

A/N: A perfect tribute, and a taste of the upcoming things I have planned. There is so much more to come!