Might as Well Face it, You're Addicted to Love (Joe Perry/Nikki Sixx)

Chapter 172: A Family Reunion Part 3

Tears, as always, those bitter-sweet and heart-breaking tears.... They flow, like the tide goes in and out. Josephine has SMILED and that makes me smile...she's laughed, but her eyes tell another story. True, I see love in there, but those eyes are filled with such pain and exhaustion. She can't stay away long and knowing her it bothers her. Right now, she is struggling to stay awake. More surprises of course were given or shown, things that were meant for her birthday, things she loved like books, art supplies, things meant for her guitar. Also, she was told what Johnny got the 'Pirates' producers to do for her and our family AND everyone brought things for Tony, James, Frankie, Amara and little Storm because they KNEW how much it would mean to us and Josephine especially. Nikki has yet to give her his surprise: his corvette or rather Josephine's but now he and I share a look before looking back to a suddenly fearful Josephine......everyone worried naturally especially Nikki and me.

"Josephine? Honey, I can SEE IT. I know it bothers you; you can't stay awake long. Sleep scares the shit out of you right now. And Your head is dark and scary from your nightmares......" Nikki says lowly, voice husky from tears gently cradling her face. "---You're not letting anyone down; I can tell you feel that way and I know how much you wanna be here for everyone but honey we are here for you too. And you need sleep, and if you sleep a lot that's ok.... It's what you need. Not gonna lie, it scares me...scares your father, and brothers and sisters. But Josephine, remember you're not alone and if you have bad dreams, we will be there to fight them off. I love you; you're a hero...an absolute hero." Nikki kisses her forehead before his hands lay over mine on Josephine's.

"I...I.... don't regret saving Amara's life...you.... or dad...b-but it just HURTS." Josephine stammers crying. "---I just wanna be with everyone, I mean I KNOW but then....my head...." Her voice drops to a whisper, sobbing.

"Josey? Much as it hurts, seeing you hurt.... feeling guilty though I shouldn't about putting you in here. I KNOW you'd never regret saving my life and I gotta tell you ARE with everyone. You HAVE been even in our darkest moments, even in YOURS still you wanna take care of everyone, you DO. Remember what our parents always say, 'Before you sleep.... think of everyone and everything you love.'" Amara says tearfully, my oldest twin saves for the lips and eyes she gets from my beloved Nikki.

"Very well said Amara. That was beautiful. You have nothing to feel guilty over, you nor Josephine though we well know its easier said than done to not feel that way, I am very proud of you and Josephine, of ALL six of my precious....precious angels." I tell my next eldest daughter after Josephine and I turn back to Josephine, a struggling to stay awake Josephine, "---Sleep honey, please. You are so loved, so loved and we will be right here with you. We got you." Mere moments it seems after these words, Josephine falls asleep, and I break down.

Feeling myself being held by my husband, and the rest of my children.... murmurs and tears of our family. We are here; SHE is here.... together, all of us together and we are not alone. Still, I'd do anything to take away Josephine's pain....to take away the pain of my sons, all my daughters. It will take time, time....to heal. But there is a small part of me, that has that FEELING that something is coming faster than any of us would like: Elyssa.... her trial, and FUCK if I don't HATE that......

Storm is still thankfully sleeping away, near to her oldest sister as possible and my other children and Nikki refusing to let me go right now....and of course Nikki KNOWS what I am thinking....my soulmate always knows....

"I Feel that way too...." Nikki whispers, "And that feeling.... that god awful feeling about the trial.... we know it's coming, but far too soon." Nikki and I manage to kiss which helps to ground me, a slow one giving me strength and before I can say anything else my sons DO. Theirs eyes shifting from Amara to Josephine....to Frankie who is watching over Storm, and everyone before landing back on their mother and I......

"There's gonna be a trial?" James, my 8-going on 9 Years old son asks, looking devastated. Shit does this HURT like hell.

"James.... Josephine deserves justice, remember what mom and dad have said? We gotta make sure she gets it. And our family deserves that; Amara deserves that and Josephine especially and SHE needs a break more than any of us. Still....it doesn't make it hurt any less." Tony, my boy.... pure me in looks. He sounds SO grown up, he sounds like me and too he is RIGHT. And I see the pain in his eyes, in each of my children's eyes save a sleeping Josephine and fuck it hurts not being able to fix it, but Nikki and I will damn sure do whatever we can to help.

"Yeah, I know Tony.... you're right.... still this SUCKS." James chokes out. My heart is breaking......and then the spark of pride at what next comes out of James' mouth, "You sound just like dad, that's like awesome. Josephine sounds like that when she's mad, or excited. What is it she calls it? Her 'Inner Boston'?" And for the moment the tension alleviates, and I hear low chuckles.

I feel Josephine you are hearing us.... i KNOW you are.

"She's mom with a Boston accent, which is wicked awesome." Amara exclaims tearfully, a slight fond laugh. She is my oldest twin, sounding like a female version of me and I love that.

Josephine didn't sleep long that day, waking up from a nightmare.... she slept in stages. Nikki and I stayed with her, our other children were taken care of by the courtesy of our family, I remember that well. But before we knew it, time passed at least some. Christmas came, and Christmas was for Josephine spent in the hospital which devastated her, and she didn't talk for DAYS.... well barely. By then she'd started Physical therapy. She knew of course why, she understood deep down, and Nikki and I told the story of the Christmas we spent with each other after Nikki's overdose in 87' which would come to help her. Josephine was stubborn, determined yet those eyes would sadly for some time be filled with such sorrow.

There were of Course sweet moments, bitter-sweet.... laughter, tears and nightmares. Amara took it hard but still like me she was even more so by her sister's side. All our children were the whole family were. The physical therapy was hard, hard on Josephine....and God, it freaked Nikki and I the hell out when Josephine got a look at where she's been shot because she passed out. The point though, is Josephine was determined to get better physically. All told she was in the hospital for 2 months and shortly after Triplet's 9th birthday, you know the barely time to breathe thing we've alluded to? The news came that Elyssa's trial was set for the first of February 2004 and sleep for Josephine would well you may have a fair idea. It was hard, harder than words to describe the toll it took on her, on Amara and my other children and it was one of the hardest things to go through but all of us were not alone, never ever alone and where you will find us is February 2. 2004 and the start of my EVIL ex's trial and for that Amara will take the start......

A/N: Wanted to move things along a bit and oh there is SO much more to come!